I HATE it, period. Especially when the YouTube preview looks realistic and it takes me a few seconds to realize it's another of these AI generated feedism video. They have no interest whatsoever to me.

Is if possible that he just likes eating a lot and doesn't mind gaining weight? I'm Autistic so I'm not great at not taking things personally, but there is always the possibility that this has nothing to do with you.

I finally built up the courage to start trying my old clothes and deciding whether I should keep them in my active wardrobe (still fits OK or a little tight but not noticeably so), put them in storage (too tight to wear at my current size but might fit again if I manage to lose a bit of weight.... which seems less and less likely as the months go by if I'm honest with myself) or sell/donate (not even close to fitting and no chance in hell it will ever again even if I lose a lot of weight... unless I have another anorexia relapse because the last time I lost 50% of my BW going from an XL to an XS).

The process is not fun for me, especially the tops as my breast/chest and upper arms ballooned in the last 2 years.

Some I can't even get on because my boobs are in the way or my arms can't get into the sleeves. This a top I adored I reluctantly had to put in the sell/donate pile.

I was surprised by a couple of pieces that I expected to not fit (as XS dress but the fabric is really stretchy and flowy so I put it in the "storage" pile) and other I expected to be very tight but not skin tight/not enough fabric to cover both my belly (which isn't that big really) and my butt (I definitely was in denial about how big it is).

I know maybe people here are into that, but I heard a few stitches get undone and one of my skirts' seam tore a little bit on the side (I'll need to repair it to sell it... I wish I wore it more often while it fit me, I'm jealous of the person who'll purchased it).

At least this didn't happen in a store dressing room! I'd be mortified and too ashamed to tell anyone so I'd just buy the item and leave the store. I wonder if there is a general store policy for that type of situations? Do you HAVE to pay for the damaged item?

I don't understand how I'm still gaining weight... This has been going on slowly but surely for the last 2 years. I think I'm almost as fat as before my anorexia relapse!

I went back to my endocrinologist who at last officially diagnosed me with PCOS (something I suspected for a very lot time as I have all the symptoms even if my labs and my ovaries are normal).

I told him I was outgrowing all my clothes (even the ones I bought only a few months ago) so he insisted to weight me because the last time I saw him apparently my BMI was still in the normal range. Like last time I go on the scale backwards and asked him not to tell me the number (I actually closed my eyes when he typed it on the keyboard).

I might be autistic, but from his facial expression I'm 100% sure my BMI is over 25 now... I just hope it's not already over 30. He advised me to lose some weight (!) to better manage the PCOS symptoms, especially the irregular periods. As if I'm not already trying...

True I indulge sometimes (I'm a sugar addict and end up bingeing on sweets if I deprive myself of cookies, pastries, ice cream, chocolate...) but overall I eat very little and mostly healthy foods (I reintroduced breaded chicken and sweet potato fries in my diet but rarely eat that).

For now he prescribed me metformin (but he told me not to expect more than a 2.5 kg weight loss from it) and spironolactone (for the androgenic symptoms). He wanted to prescribe me a contraceptive pill but I'm too afraid I'll gain even more weight on it.

To my surprise he was willing to prescribe me a GLP1 agonist (off label because my BMI isn't high enough... at least I don't think so?) but they're expensive, cause a lot of side effects, are not always effective and when they are you have to stay on them forever otherwise you'll gain back all the weight. I told him I'd rather wait for now but I'd be lying if I said I'm not considering the option.

What do you mean? If it's a fake account they'll leave you alone or do you mean fakers talk about weed?

Sorry if that's a stupid question but humans in general confuse me and I being authentic to a fault myself I tend to assume everyone's honest.

I intellectually know that's not the case, but fall in the trap easily.

MickRidem wrote:



If you've read any of my post, you know how self conscious I feel about having gained back most of the weight I had lost after nearly 10 years of successful maintenance.

I've suffered from most eating disorders (binge eating, anorexia, bulimia and night eating syndrome) and body dysmorphia.

In the last months, something I can't understand and feel very conflicted about has been happening increasingly often.

When I try on pants that used to fit me comfortably or loosely and realize I can barely pull them over my thighs and button them, I have very intense orgasms.

When I was thin I used to get that feeling when I tried on my pants while padded.

Feeling my fat push against and seeing it ooze over the too tight waistband, I feel simultaneously profoundly disgusted with myself and extremely aroused.

I don't need to touch myself, the pressure of the crotch on my pelvic bone and genitalia is enough to make me come in pulsating waves and sometimes ejaculate.

I'm demisexual and never felt sexually attracted by anyone before I started dating M, my current boyfriend.

He's also demisexual and I find his atypical body so sexy: lower belly pooch, soft excess skin from major weight loss and feminine features (long curly hair, small breasts, curvy hips, round butt and thick thighs)...

I've never enjoyed sex before.

Don't get me wrong, I felt physical pleasure but I could go months without having any and didn't miss it.

I also don't masturbate. I've tried different techniques and many sex toys but it just feels weird and unnatural to me.

As an autistic women, most of my senses (including touch) are extra sensitive, but I had never had an orgasm from vaginal penetration before I met M.

It doesn't happen as quickly as with clitoral stimulation (I orgasm almost immediately and multiple times when M gives me oral sex), but this came as a surprise to me.

Now I understand the difference between "having sex" and "making love" and have never been this sexually active.

My weight gain (over 25 lbs since October 2023) was unintentional and I've desperately been trying to lose some of it or, at the very least, stop gaining.

Can anyone relate?

Same. I love bagels and the bagels here in Montreal are just amazing (my favourite being St-Viateur or Fairmount). I seldom allowed myself to eat them back when I was thin, but the last time I went they were still hot and I greedily ate 2 in a row. I really need to get myself together.

I've tried calorie tracking apps and I'd have to eat less than 1200 calories to lose any weight. My metabolism has been ruined by years of undereating/restricting.

Do you know brands who make nice japanese lolita dresses for larger bodies? I own many BTSSB, AATP, Angelic pretty coords but they don't fit well anymore. Skirts are even worse, they were already tight when I was 25 lbs thinner.

"Feeling my body" is the sensation I've been noticing as I regain the weight I lost in 2014-2015. I don't enjoy it, but it seems like my body decided it was going to so it's own thing whether I liked it or not.

This is what I was told during my anorexia recovery but I didn't trust people. When I eventually started fo believe that indulging now and then wouldn't make me fat, I quickly realized my fear had been justified. My body holds on to any extra calorie I give it, so I'm starting to think that maybe I should try that keto thing and try to stick with it. When I managed go cut processed foods and refined sugar from my diet, I felt less tired and my mood was better, too (but it might have been because I was losing weight).