Sterlingdf:
I discovered Fantasy Feeder about 4 years ago and it changed my attitude about my weight. I weighed about 210 pounds with a 46 inch waist and wore a XL size shirt. Just for fun I thought I would try to get to 220 pounds. Took me a while to get to 220. I started thinking more about food and my weight gain diet and learned a lot from other gainers here.
Now, four years later I'm 40 pounds heavier with a 54 inch waist and just bought four new 3XL shirts. I have enjoyed watching my love handles go from zero to two inches deep on my sides with a belly apron six inches deep.
I just re-set my weight goal from my current weight of 250 pounds to go up to 265 pounds. I thought I would be happy at 250 pounds, but strangely, I am not. I have to admit I'm addicted to gaining weight. I love getting on the scale to see I've gained another pound. I would imagine there might be a point where I might be heavy enough, but I notice I am admiring more and more the pictures of men who are 400 pounds or more. (I used to just look 200 to 300 pounders.)
What's strange is that the extra weight I have put on has made me less mobile, unable to put on socks or clip my toenails and sometimes I get a little winded - but I actually enjoy those changes! To me these are not problems but proud signs of me getting fatter. To me, getting fatter has become an erotic accomplishment.
Has anyone else had a similar experience?
I would also welcome any encouragement as to how high I should set my weight goals or where I should consider leveling off, and, of course, any dietary changes that would help me gain (no high sugar diets, please.)
I think your experience is incredibly common. I was obese throughout childhood and my teen years. A few years ago, I intentionally lost weight, at one point reaching 190 lb, which was the smallest I'd been since middle school. Of course, compliments poured in, but I wasn't happy and felt like a stranger in my own body. When I decided to regain intentionally, I truly threw myself into it. The first 50 pounds I regained gave me an enormous rock hard potbelly, and I loved it. Previously, my weight was more distributed, and I was enamored with the fact I was gaining differently. I wanted to get bigger and see how far I could push it. I got into super stuffing, which rapidly increased my appetite and belly capacity (decreased my bank account significantly though!) During my most aggressive gaining spurts, I would regularly eat more than 20,000 calories a day, more if I was pushing myself. If I had a day in which I only ate 5,000 calories, I felt very hungry and deprived. Still, I was enjoying getting fatter and fatter, and I didn't want to stop until I had a medical emergency. I've made lifestyle changes since, though I've definitely had periods of indulgence and probably will in the future. Now though, my weight creeps upward regardless, even with cleaner eating and maintenance calories. I have some major mobility issues, and that contributes.
Do I have regrets? Yes and no. I love my body, and I like the way I look. I also wish I didn't have some of the health issues I live with. I know some of them could be addressed if I committed to lose weight and stuck with it. I haven't wanted to, so far, because again, I love being this fat .. but I'm aware it may be medically necessary in the future.
I said all that to to say, gaining is absolutely addictive and it can become very difficult to stop. I know for some folks health issues and immobility are a turn on too, and to each their own! But if that's not something you're interested in, I recommend pacing yourself, which you seem to be doing ,and keeping your muscles strong. I didn't, not consistently anyway, and now the trade-off is my lifestyle is much more limited than most. 30-year-olds.