I go back and forth between wanting to be skinny and wanting the fantasy gargantuan beer gut that rubs on both sides of doorframes.

Your keyword is peristaltic pump, they're ideal for viscous/chunky liquids. If you have 3D printing capability, it's pretty simple to construct one using a motor, driver, rubber or silicone tube and 3D printed parts.

Otherwise, you should look for one that runs either at your local mains voltage or at 12/24V with a barrel jack connector, should be easy to find a wall wart to pair with it. Ebay, Aliexpress, the usual scumbags for this sort of oddball thing.

Any decently built unit should pull a good vacuum and won't need priming, just stick it in your container and go. If possible get one with VFD compatibility, so you can easily adjust the flow rate.

Couldn't say for sure, but I don't think it all comes from the same place. In the wider internet I come across a lot of folks who seem to get off on the notion of belly noise being borne of hunger, illness and occasionally physical abuse, but for me personally it's another tangible indicator of successful, if somewhat overzealous, nurturing.

The typical response for this is heavy cream, but it's pretty hard to consume raw. Blend in 50% milk and some misc. flavour and you've got what is essentially your best bet for pudging up as quickly as possible without immediately destroying your pancreas or liver.

Go for the Cool Hand Luke cred and switch to hardboiled eggs!

Neovim into LaTeX is also a free, easy pipeline that gives you plenty of control. It's pretty difficult to end up with bad formatting. Just gotta spend an afternoon getting used to it.

I dunno about the actual health effects of eating straight lard - presumably it's not great - but the usual anti-nausea stuff applies: Eat it quickly, distract yourself while eating, mix it with something palatable and chase with things like (proper) ginger beer and ginger extract (or stronger anti-emetics if you've got them to hand) to tamp down the nausea.

It's only a matter of time before someone mentions the dreaded Mr. Creosote...

But nah, Terry Crews in a fatsuit in that one episode of Brooklyn Nine Nine probably got some people going.

As a very young kid, that one episode of CatDog tweaked something in my brain, too, as weird as that sounds. Actually, I could probably rattle off a dozen episodes of cartoons that settled somewhere in the back of my head over the years.

I've always loved the sensation of being stuffed, bloated, inflated - whatever - and I'm pretty sure I can attribute that in part to constant bloating throughout my life as a result of retrograde cricopharyngeus dysfunction, essentially an inability to burp like a normal human being.

The problem I have is that the quiet little splutters and gurgles I exude instead A. are not hot and B. still cause me to leak pressure, except I can't suppress them like folks seem to be able to do with real burping.

So I'd like to hear from folks, so-called "no-burpers" or otherwise, on ways you've found to keep that gas in your gut and out of your gullet, the typical "just don't burp lol" notwithstanding. Because while a full liquid bloat feels awesome in its own way, I need a bunch of gas mixed in there to promote all those gurgling and churning sounds!

Yeah, it's all in the stretch. Eat more, pile liquid in over the top and stay topped up as long as possible.

In slightly more detail: Eat quickly and drink nothing until you hit the wall, then drink as much room-temp fluid as you can. Keep topping yourself up for the next hour or so. Prepare to be pretty hungry at the same time tomorrow.