My husband and I have been having issues with mismatched libidos and so he has been encouraging me to share more of what I'm into. He has a general idea that I like big guys (which he is) and would be into the idea of feeding him sometime, but I keep trying to downplay it and he won't let that fly. I know I should be grateful that I finally have a partner who is interested in understanding what makes me tick, but we're both feeling increasingly frustrated because I'm so scared of being rejected that I have a mental block when it comes to expressing this part of myself candidly and he feels that I am being dishonest with him by not doing so. He suggested sharing porn that I've watched or stories I've read, but I don't see how sharing the full extent of my fat fetish fantasies would come to any good since weight gain is out of the question for him. He wants to lose weight for health reasons, and I want to support him on this.
What to do, short of scheduling couple's therapy?
6 months
Zlukz:
I really want to be obese, I know I’ve always dreamed of it. But I also really like doing sports like cycling or tennis.
How do you manage to do both?
I already gained 25lbs. But I can already feel that doing sport is more difficult. Problem is that I want my body way softer, it’s only the beginning of my journey!
Do you have any tips or advices about that?
Wish you all a good day!
FatCam:
I was on a wrestling team when I was 315lbs so while some/most sports may become more challenging at a higher weight it's still possible you just have to want it. Also, to gain weight you only need to be in a calorie surplus, the body doesn't care where the calories come from they're just calories it stores them the same regardless. As Munchies said above you can gain weight perfectly fine by just eating a large amount of healthy food.
Zlukz:
Thanks for your answer 😊 Let’s say that ice cream is working very well to get fatter 😅 But I’m alongside eating diversified food.
Maybe I should get away from cycling and think about making judo again. So then my weight won’t count 😁
What about sports that involve water, like rowing and/or swimming? It's a great way to get cardio in and weight doesn't affect your performance as much.
10 months
Has anyone ever left a long term relationship to explore their feedist fantasies? And did you regret it?
10 months
Has anyone found a great deal of enjoyment and even meaning from their kink, only to have most of it taken away from them by a suddenly low libido? I started antidepressants a few months ago and my libido took a complete nose dive, but the meds helped so much with everything else in my life that I don't want to consider tempting fate by switching them out.
11 months
Munchies:
Just wanna point out that your second therapist is unbelievably stupid and needs to educate themselves. Lotta aces participate in kink.
I left out a lot of context. Sure ace people can participate in fetish, but can a person still be ace if their fetish (and only their fetish) makes them desire sex? Maybe gray ace? I think the definition can get complicated and subjective at that point.
11 months
I can totally relate to your frustration and used to feel guilty about this but honestly everyone needs to find their own unique balance between attraction and compatibility. It's totally okay to have "musts" as long as you respect potential partners as human beings and let them make decisions about their bodies for themselves.
As for whether or not you're asexual/greysexual, no one can answer that for you. I've talked to two different therapists about this over the years about a similar issue myself, and one of them suggested I was asexual but the other one said I can't be because of my fetish. Idk. Either way, it may not be something you can change, and life is too short to try to guilt yourself out of finding happiness. I'm sure there are partners out there that are complementary to you in both personality and attraction.
11 months
BBWcreator82:
Honestly, I'd say most of us have some kind of thing like this going on.
Let's face it. We're weird.
Stockylove:
I love being a weirdo 😆
lmao. The biggest compliment I ever received from a partner was that I'm a lot of things but normal isn't one of them.
11 months
Fat Dreams:
Munchies, can I ask about your decision to refer to kinks that aren't bdsm-related as vanilla?
Munchies:
I'm not. I'm refering to the kink in it's purest form as vanilla. It's like how people refer to unmodded games as vanilla.
Ok, got it. Thanks for clarifying.
11 months
Munchies, can I ask about your decision to refer to kinks that aren't bdsm-related as vanilla?
11 months
