Has anyone found a great deal of enjoyment and even meaning from their kink, only to have most of it taken away from them by a suddenly low libido? I started antidepressants a few months ago and my libido took a complete nose dive, but the meds helped so much with everything else in my life that I don't want to consider tempting fate by switching them out.
3 days
Munchies:
Just wanna point out that your second therapist is unbelievably stupid and needs to educate themselves. Lotta aces participate in kink.
I left out a lot of context. Sure ace people can participate in fetish, but can a person still be ace if their fetish (and only their fetish) makes them desire sex? Maybe gray ace? I think the definition can get complicated and subjective at that point.
1 week
I can totally relate to your frustration and used to feel guilty about this but honestly everyone needs to find their own unique balance between attraction and compatibility. It's totally okay to have "musts" as long as you respect potential partners as human beings and let them make decisions about their bodies for themselves.
As for whether or not you're asexual/greysexual, no one can answer that for you. I've talked to two different therapists about this over the years about a similar issue myself, and one of them suggested I was asexual but the other one said I can't be because of my fetish. Idk. Either way, it may not be something you can change, and life is too short to try to guilt yourself out of finding happiness. I'm sure there are partners out there that are complementary to you in both personality and attraction.
1 week
BBWcreator82:
Honestly, I'd say most of us have some kind of thing like this going on.
Let's face it. We're weird.
Stockylove:
I love being a weirdo 😆
lmao. The biggest compliment I ever received from a partner was that I'm a lot of things but normal isn't one of them.
1 week
Fat Dreams:
Munchies, can I ask about your decision to refer to kinks that aren't bdsm-related as vanilla?
Munchies:
I'm not. I'm refering to the kink in it's purest form as vanilla. It's like how people refer to unmodded games as vanilla.
Ok, got it. Thanks for clarifying.
2 weeks
Munchies, can I ask about your decision to refer to kinks that aren't bdsm-related as vanilla?
2 weeks
Magodamilion2:
Yes I relate strongly, I've been trying to put it into words. People sometimes say they get a lesbian vibe from me and I've always throught it was to do with my fat fetish.
But what it really is is that I'm a top. I'm a cis het woman but I'm a top. My fantasies are all centered around degrading men and making them as helpless as possible.
It's a certain kind of madness that lots of men have, that thirst for another person's humiliation and gradual destruction. Iykyk
I've had people in real life wonder about my sexuality before too but in those cases I chalked it up to other things. Maybe I do give a vibe though? It's really not about power for me at all but I'm a bit more like one of those stereotypical males who probably spends a little too much time daydreaming about the bods I like.
2 weeks
Fat Dreams:
Do any other female fa's and feeders deal with the feeling that their specific interests somehow make them more masculine? I've personally wondered about this for myself because I'm very fascinated by and fixated on the fat male form. The messages I've always received though are that female desire tends to be more responsive and less spontaneous.
I'm writing this from the perspective of a cis-gendered woman but all who identify as female are welcome to contribute.
Munchies:
Not really. I'm a woman doing gender neutral things. Some people attach masculine gender roles onto being a feeder or an FA. These people are wrong.
Being an FA or a feeder might let you tap into a masculine headspace, but it isn't in and of itself gendered. The reason is that both are associated with power and authority.
Mind you that submissive feeders and FAs exist, but people keep forgetting about this.
Speaking as a sadistic domme feeder and FA, these things make me feel incredibly feminine. My feedee worships me as his queen. It's a power thrill knowing his pleasure and pain are at my whim.
Some people might say that sounds masculine. And to that, I challenge you to reexamine the traits you assign to masculinity and femininity.
That's interesting. I hadn't even thought about power dynamics when I wrote this. I'm neither particularly submissive or dominant but I can see how gender stereotypes could play into that as well.
2 weeks
Do any other female fa's and feeders deal with the feeling that their specific interests somehow make them more masculine? I've personally wondered about this for myself because I'm very fascinated by and fixated on the fat male form. The messages I've always received though are that female desire tends to be more responsive and less spontaneous.
I'm writing this from the perspective of a cis-gendered woman but all who identify as female are welcome to contribute.
2 weeks
