Thank you for your reply, C00kie. That’s really insightful. And you’re right about not relying on others for validation - self acceptance is most important!

Until a few months ago I kept the kink and “me” completely separate but that was damaging. I’m still ironing out the edges but, along with invaluable support I have received, the self acceptance is there now at last.

The “Where does the fat kink identity and fat person everyday identity cross over for us all? I do think that’s a personal thing, and it’s okay for it to be complicated…” - that’s where I have to start to give myself a break, accept it’s complicated and can change and evolve on the daily and just have fun with it.

I appreciate your thoughtful response, C00kie!

I’m such an idiot I didn’t realise the floating thing was a fat thing 🤦‍♀️ …of course it is.

So, when I’m floating on my back in the pool, thinking I’m somehow magical for being able to do this, I’m basically just proving to everyone around me how fat I am then?

Great - New fear/turn on unlocked 😂

I wonder how many FA’s have noticed me over the years floating aimlessly around the pools I’ve been in

The thing I’m still conflicted about most from the fat person perspective is that we ARE the kink. We can’t switch off or put it away. I find it hard to understand how we are perceived outside just the kink space so wanted to start a discussion but finding it hard to articulate so bear with me!

For example, from an appreciator’s point of view living in a “normal” body - does your attraction change based on your mindset? Like will you find us attractive one day and a “fat girl you wouldn’t go near” until the kink invaded your brain again, the next? Does that make sense? Or does it depend?

I think because until recently, I have changed my mind so many times! Liking it on myself one minute and hating it the next- so it’s what I assume others feel towards us.

It’s something I haven’t got a gauge on or seen discussed much so wanted to see people’s thoughts and opinions. I’m very likely overthinking it but I’m AUDHD and love to have clear understandings of these things.

I think sometimes I feel like a novelty, and that diminishes who I am as a whole. If that’s what you’re after absolutely fine! And the moment can call for that for sure. But other times I’d like to just feel hot without the caveat of “just for now - not later”

Hope this makes sense!

It’s down to genetics. A few years ago before lockdown I had fat dissolving injections in my chin. The moment I put on any weight it all went back there. It’s luck of the draw

Ha this is a fun one

I’m dressed ready to go out in my shapewear so it’s a bit skewed right now but mostly

Boobs,
Belly slightly taking over from that,
No feet.

What feet? I don’t remember seeing feet it’s been that long 😂 not without leaning forward anyway

Well said!

Being a female millennial the 90s were horrendous being a teenager that was on the chubby side. There are still wounds there but self acceptance and seeing more positivity, learning to let the negative not get to you as much all helps.

I can second getting something like that - I’m assuming they meant an actual compression garment rather than an outgrown top. My shapewear tops that hold me in and control any bounce or pulling forward help a lot!

Physio told me years ago I have anterior pelvic tilt. I try and be more aware of it when I’m walking now but it’s definitely difficult when you’re mainly belly! Bodies going to counteract it somehow.

Some good tips on here though. There will likely always be a bit of back pain involved I would think.

I refuse to consider myself “Middle aged” at 41. Mainly because I’m 25 in my brain

My body has never been “small” - probably UK size 12 being the smallest I’ve ever been when I was in school/beginning of college.

It’s definitely ramped up in terms of ease of gain/difficulty in losing fat as I’ve gotten older. My belly is so stubborn but not sure that’s anything to do with age and probably more to do with genetics.

I think my working from home coinciding with turning 40 created the conditions for the perfect storm to gain a lot very quickly

This is so interesting! I have never gone out and not tried to hide and tuck the fat bits away, even now! Though I don’t often completely succeed in this plan of deception if I’m honest 😂

It’s a great insight. If I were meeting someone who I knew were into the chunky bits of me I would definitely want to accentuate them in a way they’d find the most alluring. Never thought about what I would wear before 🤔

“What they are most confident in” was a good shout 👍