In my younger days as a feeder, I ran into the same problem but with the big girls. Generally the relationship would fizzle out if they really didn't enjoy their size. I played unpaid therapist to so many girls who hated themselves and their bodies most of all.

This is a problem of their own. It is a mismatch of their bodies and their desires, either because they have no willpower or because they're too afraid of their true desires. In neither case are they desirable. If they have no willpower, to the point that they hate the way they look but keep doing nothing about it, whoever dates them will have to carry everything in that relationship. If they're in denial about their desire to be big, and some sensual affirmation and encouragement can't bring it out of them, then they need deeper introspection and possibly therapy than you can provide.

I would just say, hang in there and keep trying. You will definitely one day find the barrel-bellied beefcake of your dreams, you're just going to have to meet a lot of weak-willed diet sheeple first. Too bad you don't live nearby...

Huh, I have a cabin in Nevada. Small world.

There's plenty of big girls in Utah, and plenty of feedees I'd wager. Just try to find places where non-Mormons (who are less likely to have hangups about fetishes) gather and you'll probably run into them. My car broke down in Ogden a few months ago and I spent some time in a coffee shop waiting for a tow, and ran across like six big girls in just the hour I had to wait. I'm sure you can find some if you get out there and put your mind to it.

There are a whole lot of shitty attitudes in this community. Just yesterday on Feabie, I noticed that the Feabie TOS has no rules against sexism. Women are a protected class in their TOS, but men aren't. So there's a bunch of misandrists on there that feel entitled to be the biggest cyberbullies they can possibly be, and there's no way to stop them.

Why is it like this? Well, class analysis tells me that the people who can afford extra food are going to skew more bourgeois than the average population. The bourgeois are already used to being terrible people for a living, so they have no problems bringing that into their sexual lives too. And insofar as feedism represents a community, that community is going to be infected with those bourgeois values.

So, I would recommend that you pursue feedist partners outside of this community. They exist, in fact there's probably far more outside the community than inside, they just don't know the word. They won't be as corrupted by this terrible mindset and you'll be likelier to find someone. Good luck in your search.

I'm starting to realize that I was incredibly lucky to be a feedist IRL first, and only come to the online community for it later.

So here's my advice for living out this lifestyle, cobbled together from what I did accidentally IRL that worked. Be about 50 to 100 pounds chubbier than average - enough to attract women that like big guys, but not so big that you have difficulty living a normal life. Most women (not all, but most) that like big guys are bound to be somewhat chubby themselves, because in lieu of anyone else to fatten up, they'll do it to themselves.

Then, once you find one, talk over your desires and figure out which of you wants to be the bigger one.

Congratulations, you are now an IRL feedist. You don't have to buy groceries for strangers. You don't have to hear weird people talking about putting things in your belly button in your DMs. You don't have to be so suffocatingly alone.

Most people who are into feedism don't even know the word exists. This isn't as impossible as you think it is. I was approached multiple times in multiple ways by women who were trying to talk about the subject, around the subject, without even knowing the word. Just take your game IRL and see what happens.

I think that in the very long run, this guy is on to something.

Eventually, probably after many wars and revolutions, enough of humanity will be wealthy enough that they will have the money to invest in their more esoteric wants, not just their needs or their most obvious wants. They will realize that fat is erotic, and even if they don't have to be fat, even if they can just Ozempic themselves back to normal, at least some of them will feel a desire not to. And the more people live out that desire, the more money will flow into bariatric research.

This might not happen for hundreds of years. I'd be surprised if anyone here would be alive to see it, because the productive forces are nowhere near advanced enough to make it happen. But it seems inevitable, given the historical forces involved.

I do suspect that a lot of feedees who have to stop gaining for their health end up becoming feeders, to have an outlet for it. And a lot of people fascinated by fat who are afraid to become fat themselves start out as feeders, and then gradually become feedees as they're around the lifestyle more.

Insofar as gender applies, I think it's just that in our society, the majority of feeders are male and the majority of feedees are female. I would guess that that's a social construct that varies between times and places, though.

Ozempic is pretty expensive, so people who can't afford it will also be fatter on average.

And because of the Trump-Greenland thing, it's entirely possible that the price of Ozempic skyrockets in America due to punitive tariffs on Denmark. Alternately, it could plummet if he decides to just seize the patent and make it here.

Everyone should live in the body they want to inhabit, but if there's a lot less fat people in the world, bariatric medical research will slow, and basically be replaced with "just take Ozempic" and that would be terrible IMHO.

I also suspect that if the world you describe comes to be, that the fat people left will become increasingly fetishized. Ozempic won't have decreased the number of feeders and fat admirers in the world, but it will have decreased the number of targets for their affections. It's entirely possible that fat people become stigmatized in public, but end up as rockstars in private.

It could go all kinds of ways. The future is a ball of putty in our hands.

As I understand it, yo-yoing like this is actually not great for your health. I guess if it's just 30-40 pounds over and over, it's not super bad. Especially on a yearly cycle; I imagine we must be at least somewhat adapted to that as a species by now. I can't really avoid doing this myself; I have a labor-intensive job in the summers and usually lose about 30 pounds; it can't be helped. But I'm also the healthiest person in my family.

If you're worried about metabolic issues, just make sure that a decent part of your gains are muscle mass. That also helps with mobility issues. 40 pounds isn't going to make you immobile though. 400 pounds wouldn't even do that, assuming you're starting from under 200.

I've dated women I wasn't attracted to before, on the basis of personality alone. It didn't work in the bedroom, and eventually that leads to it not working, period. Like, sex isn't everything, but a relationship without sex is just a friendship. If you're friends already, that's probably peak relationship with this dude.

So, like, try to find a feedee who isn't evil. We exist, all over, and many of us don't even know there's a name for that yet.

Gotcha. Yeah, there'll be no malicious scripts or anything like that from me.

And, my mind isn't completely made up about posting content here either. If I do, I won't be teaserish about it; it'll be chapter after chapter of full stories. But it might not be all my stories... just so I can see how well they do before I commit to this payment model.

In any case, thank you for answering all my questions, you've been a big help!