This is it, isn’t it? it’s finding what works for you and ultimately what you can and can’t compromise on and what you need to live a happy life while sustaining healthy relationships.

I would take some occasionally belly rubs as a starting point 😫

I love that. And I will treasure the connection we had as such

SqueeGee:
To the OP - Wishing you all the best as you navigate this! It sounds like you are on to something when you say perhaps there are other, deeper issues outside the kink.[/quote]

Thank you 🙂
And I hope you find some comfort too

Thank you for your replies, you’ve both touched on things there that have given me a bit of a realisation.

The online connection I had really fulfilled me and “filled in the gaps” so to speak where they are missing in my marriage and life in general. They helped me become a happier more confident person in every day life - friends and family even commented on it. I put that down to both of us finding an outlet for this space that worked for us.

But maybe that connection was highlighting where many of my needs in life are unmet and how important they are to my everyday happiness. They made me feel safe, seen and free to express myself.

Billed - you’ve got a balance there I really envy. Unfortunately, mine and my husband’s drives are completely mismatched and it’s been an issue in forever. It’s more than sex too. This is all stuff being worked out.

So maybe it’s about more than the “kink” in my situation. I need to really look at where to go from here

So I’ve been drawn to the feedist ways in forever. I suppressed it most of my life resorting to the occasional browse on Dimensions and dropping into, and always eventually out of, FF periodically engaging in pretty surface level interactions with little connection. In “real life” I found a normy in my 20s and eventually got married. I’d never experienced any real life interactions related to this space.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more accepting of myself and felt it’s been damaging overall suppressing this side of me for so long. I decided the end of last year to come clean to my husband. It’s not his thing. It was a long shot to expect that. But he has been supportive in me exploring and having fun online with it.

But finding something fulfilling that can meet those needs entirely is another thing. I was lucky enough to experience a beautiful online connection through here with someone who was in a similar situation to me for a short time but unfortunately, circumstances meant it couldn’t continue in the long term. It was something rare and I don’t think I’ll be lucky enough to find it in a way that met me so well, again.

I speak to some lovely people, and have some great interactions, but at the same time this can be a really difficult space to be in frequently, between here and Feabie. Maybe I came back too soon, I don’t know. But I feel drained

I’m feeling stuck in all honesty. What is everyone’s experiences and advice? I don’t know if being in this space is serving me in the same way any more but at the same time, I don’t want to abandon it completely and go back to how things were before. I’ve seen what it can be at its best - but it’s a super high bar that is unrealistic to expect to find easily. It took me 30 years to find the first time around, after all.

I’ve definitely seen people from France on Feabie so that may be worth a shot.

I hope you find what you’re looking for!

I got with my partner who I kept this part of me a secret from as it was way before I accepted this part of myself, 18 years ago. If you can be honest and have a partner who’s interested in it from day one definitely do that. It can be problematic if not, it’s been difficult for me. I came out to my husband and he doesn’t understand it but I’m lucky he’s fine with me exploring this part of me online, but it’s not the same I imagine as having someone you can experiment in real life with.

Good luck! 🤞

It’s difficult I know, it’s a difficult fetish in that we have to wear it all day everyday so it’ll inevitably affect those around us.

Balance is key I think and that’ll be different for everyone. I couldn’t stay at 270lbs due to my health and needed to lose weight. I’m 215 now, meant to be losing more but I’ve been stuck around this weight for months for various reasons. But I decided I’m going to have days where I indulge because it’s part of me. Compromising other days with healthier choices or bloating instead with things I know will do that in smaller portions.

Experiment and find a compromise that hopefully works for you.

I’ve always had slightly younger partners (and for some reason every one has been born in December, but anyway 😂 🤷‍♀️) despite me having a bit of a thing for the older “daddy” types but I think Pedro Pascal had a point here -
“Daddy is a a state of mind, you know what I’m saying?..”

It’s more about emotional maturity for me that’s the biggest attraction. If they’ve got that soft dom energy then I’m into it ☺️

People in the fatasphere tend to think I’m heavier than I am, more the size I used to be around 270 but I do think that’s because I retained most of the fat on my belly still, it mostly went from thighs, face and lower arms. IRL i think people think im a bit less that I am because of how I dress I think (skirt/dresses) so they aren’t getting the “full” extent of the belly (pun intended 😂)

I haven’t but that is mad!

I did have an appointment a couple of days ago and was both worried that they’d weigh me and spent the whole day fantasising about a scenario if they did

The conflict continues 😂