This is a very hot thread! I have the exact same conflicts and desires as you in terms of fitness and athleticism versus letting go and eating and gaining a ton of weight and getting fat.
Totally a turn on to think of being shamed for letting myself go, and in the end, I don't think I will ever truly let myself go (though I will want to for the rest of my life).
Thanks for writing down all your thoughts...you are definitely not alone in your desires!
9 years
I was around 120 in high school and now I'm 180.5.
10 years
1. You like fattening food.
2. You like to overeat.
3. You're tired of feeling guilty about your weight or appetite.
4. You hate dieting.
5. Your significant other wants you to gain.
6. You find it erotic.
For me, these are the reasons in order: 1, 6, 2, 4
10 years
OniGumo wrote:
I never felt the shame as acutely I guess. Maybe part of growing up fat? I dunno.
I've known ridicule on account of my size but it's never incited anything other than anger from me. (Perhaps because even as a young child I knew I liked the way I felt? Again, not sure.)
As for having humiliation and shame twined up in the eroticism, not so much. A little light teasing is alright but not heavy ridicule (or names like pig or hog). That's more likely to make me angry than turn me on.
I was teased a lot about my weight growing up, too. Although looking back on photos, I wasn't fat then.
I never felt anger, only shame. It probably would have been healthier to get angry instead of turn it against myself.
11 years
OniGumo wrote:
I never felt the shame as acutely I guess. Maybe part of growing up fat? I dunno.
I've known ridicule on account of my size but it's never incited anything other than anger from me. (Perhaps because even as a young child I knew I liked the way I felt? Again, not sure.)
As for having humiliation and shame twined up in the eroticism, not so much. A little light teasing is alright but not heavy ridicule (or names like pig or hog). That's more likely to make me angry than turn me on.
I was teased a lot about my weight growing up, too. Although looking back on photos, I wasn't fat then.
I never felt anger, only shame. It probably would have been healthier to get angry instead of turn it against myself.
11 years
Thanks for your reply. The shame and embarrassment already IS a big turn-on. So I guess what I was saying is that it is doesn't always feel good (even when it DOES feel good) to be turned on by shame and embarrassment. But I guess that is just the way it is for me.
11 years
As a feedee, or at the veryleast a gainer who loves food and loves to eat, I can't deny that gaining weight turns me on. But for my whole life (even before I became aware of the fetish), I have felt shame about putting on weight.
I wish that I could just enjoy the fetish sometimes without shame, but shame seems to be the most important part of it. It's hard to reconcile this fact, because anyone who has recognized it in themselves (it can be hard to recognize) will tell you it's not exactly a pleasant emotion. To have it tied up so completely with my sexual identity is hard to come to terms with sometimes.
Thoughts? I would love to hear if others have experienced this.
11 years
As a feedee, or at the veryleast a gainer who loves food and loves to eat, I can't deny that gaining weight turns me on. But for my whole life (even before I became aware of the fetish), I have felt shame about putting on weight.
I wish that I could just enjoy the fetish sometimes without shame, but shame seems to be the most important part of it. It's hard to reconcile this fact, because anyone who has recognized it in themselves (it can be hard to recognize) will tell you it's not exactly a pleasant emotion. To have it tied up so completely with my sexual identity is hard to come to terms with sometimes.
Thoughts? I would love to hear if others have experienced this.
11 years
Les feedee here, more of a submissive but I do have a feeder side and love girls of all sizes--bigger and smaller than myself.
11 years
