Was reading the reviews of the Fat Michelangelo's David statue on Walmart.com. This guy bought one, and his wife was like, "Get that thing out of the front yard!" She doesn't appreciate art or beauty.
I realized that I don't need to electrify my Fat Michelangelo's David statues to keep ppl from stealing them; I just need to keep them covered in oil. Home security solutions have never been this fun!