Its looking more like I'm lugging a big hog belly every day, but I have a mighty need to feed

You might be officially fat if you can lift your gut into the sink and it hangs there. I love being told what a fat slob I am.

I guess I put on a pound or two in the last year.

All I ate was a big roast chicken for dinner and a couple of half gallon tubs of ice cream for dessert. I look so full but I probably could have managed at least another tub of ice cream