As soon as I can afford it, I fully intend to spend most of the time that I am awake and at home slowly savoring a refill of a 32 ounce cup of Diet. Pepsi, and anyone who has a problem with that is cordially invited to do that thing to me that Lloyd in "Dumb and Dumber" says to do to him when he first sees Mary's house that always gets censored when they show that movie on TV.

Only a few lucky people are born with very conventionally attractive faces. We are very lucky to have been created as the few people with normal sexual preferences.

I really, really feel like I'm living in an episode of "The Twilight Zone" where I'm one of the few normal people in a world where an extremely bizarre alternative sexual preference is considered the norm.

It makes me really, really happy when I see ANYTHING resembling normal human behavior being exhibited by people born after 1994. I wish that there was an emoji for the little smile that comes from optimism and the very wonderful gift of being able to find humor in a situation as bleak as a reality where someday, these kids will be running the entire government. LOL

I am a millenial who LOVES classic rock. ALL classic rock--not just the band's that are still popular with people my age like AC/DC, Black Sabbath, and Led Zeppelin, but also the ones that other younger people mistakenly believe have not stood the test of time, like Styx, REO Speed.wagon, the Steve Miller Band, and ELO. I could write a BOOK of examples of classic rock lyrics that seem extremely relevant to stuff that happened or is happening to me in the 21st century. And The music of Jim Croce, while not classic rock, either deals with subject matter I have experienced myself, or is intended to be humorous and is as funny as the songs Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg used to sing on "SNL." (People outside the United States who have never seen "Saturday Night Live" need to buy the DVDS on Amazon.com. Trust me when I say that it is DEFINITELY worth having to buy a DVD player or Blu Ray player that can play American DVDS. You're missing out on something that is as good as chocolate and sex with BHMS!)P.S. BBW enthusiasts will LOVE the Jim Croce song "Roller Derby Queen!"

Listening to the Bob Seger version of "C'est. LA Vie." And finding it enjoyable instead of fingernails-on-a-blackboard intolerable for the first time. You know you're getting old when that happens. LOL. You also know you're getting old when you jokingly tell the cashier at the gas station that drinking the 4 liters of RC Cola you're purchasing will probably cause you to shit 4 liters of blood. LOL.

It is HORRIBLE that Chris Farley is a genetic dead end! He should have been donating sperm as if that were his only source of income!

I really identify with the Kid Rock song "You Never Met a Mother fucke.r Quite Like Me."

I hate the way QVC uses plus size models on its fashion shows, but on the jewelry shows, the models. Are always rail thin.

My BHM 'S big beautiful size is causing him to have sleep apnea. Every rose has its thorn. I love him. We'll make this work no matter what.

If you eat semi-sweet chocolate and drink Mike's Harder Black Cherry Lemonade and then burp, it tastes like pizza.

Just learned that semi-sweet chocolate tastes like dark chocolate.

Don't worry--Farley is a three-year-old dog. LOL

I have designated my bedroom and the pond as Places Where I Thrash. (Obscure "Bob's Burgers" joke.) I'm so glad that I can party and that I'm not tied down at home with kids!

Just ate a potato, mushrooms, green beans, and tea. HIPPIE DINNER! (Like when Gene from "Bob's Burgers" cooked hot dogs over a flaming garbage can/dustbin in the middle of the liVing room and yelled "HOBO DINNER!" LOL; So stoked that show won an Emmy; have binge watched the first season many times.) Drowned that stuff in margarine, salt, ketchup, and Italian dressing, and the tea was Arizona Arnold Palmer.

You know you're getting old when you're standing in your kitchen trying to remember why you just said, "Son of a bitch!" And then you remember that it was because the cookie sheet you need is in the running dishwasher.LOL