Chapter 1 - how it all beganA lion bar started it all. I don't remember the exact date or what I was wearing but I remember munching on a lion bar the moment I first met the boyfriend who would introduce me to the feedee way of life. The irony that my brain was concentrating on food as always is not lost on me.
I've always had a love of food, I grew up in a family where large appetites was the norm. Whilst I never quite kept up with my brother or father, it was drilled into me at an early age that food was to be eaten not wasted. I was a plump child and curvy teenager. After my boobs appeared from no where and overtook my physique my family turned on me some what and started calling me fat. My hearty appetite suddenly seemed very out of place with what they wanted from me. I didn't enjoy their scrutiny but it didn't stop me eating. At 14 I got myself a paper round and started to supplement my mothers terrible cooking with an elicit supply of junk food I kept hidden in the bottom draw of my bedside table; hidden artfully beneath scarves. The drawer would be filled with whatever my measly wages could afford, biscuits, Pringles, chocolate, even occasionally bottles of fizzy drink. Unfortunately early mornings and me didn't really agree with each other and I lost my paper round after three months or so and my personal money dried up along with my junk food supply.
It wasn't until I started college at 17 that my EMA (educational maintenance allowance) allowed me to regain my culinary freedom. My weight was already snaking it's way upwards when I met Lion bar boy.
A week after we first met we were dating and my friends were already wandering what was up with him. My rekindled friendship with all things calorific meant that my stomach was already starting to wibble when we started dating and my boyfriend seemed enamoured with it. He had no qualms about touching it, constantly. Often he would surprise me between classes by sneaking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist to say hello. He'd splay his fingers across my stomach and give it a playful squeeze or a little jiggle whilst whispering 'wibble'. At first I wasn't sure what to think, but I quickly realised I loved it, in fact I found it very hot and this was before he enlightened me about anything! My friends however found it a mite uncomfortable. At first they thought he was trying to hint at me losing weight, but that didn't seem to fit with the salacious grin he was often wearing and I quickly shot down theories of him being 'special'. But I did agree it was slightly odd, most teenage boys went straight for my boobs and no boyfriend had ever done anything other than flat out ignore my stomach. A third theory was put forward that he was some kind of pervert, I can't say I didn't entertain the idea but being the huge nerd I am, I went off and did a little bit of research that mostly lead to rather extreme websites that scared me silly. Needless to say it put me off the idea for a while, but eventually I decided to do what I should have done in the first place and just asked him. Thankfully his answer was short and simple, no mention of ***ing fat flaps or immobility much to my relief.
The words 'I like bigger women' was something of a revelation to teenage me, whilst not obsessed with my weight I'd always been a little self conscious about my stomach and eating habits. The idea that someone would actually find that attractive was well jaw dropping and a huge self confidence boost. I liked the way I looked and so did he, so I guess that made us both perverts, though I have always favoured the idea that it's a preference not a fetish, the fetish bit came next.
I'm not sure how much of a gap there was between the confessions of 'I like big women' and 'I like big women getting bigger' but when it finally came along it left me with a lot to think about. Modern culture drills us into thinking skinny is sexy and whilst I could understand appreciating natural curves in all shapes and sizes the idea of purposefully gaining weight to get more curves was an alien idea to me, purposefully gaining weight and endangering you health for a sexual kink seemed a bit of an extreme. But then I went back to researching again and spoke to various people on forums and they all seemed very laid back and open about it. What really changed my mind about the idea was three things. Firstly the idea that my boyfriend would find me attractive no matter how big I got; whether purposefully gaining or not, was like freedom on a platter and totally hot. Secondly as a very tactile person I have always appreciated how soft curves could feel and looking at pictures of much bigger women I was amazed at how beautiful and soft they looked. Before I had started researching feederism I had never seen a picture of bigger women in the nude other than on classical art. Web pages like adipositivity.com really showed me how gorgeous larger women could be and I surprised myself by becoming jealous. Whilst I had never been small I couldn't help but look at these beautiful curvy women and want to join the ranks, if that meant more food all the better. It was not that I didn't like my body, I did, I just saw something I wanted and decided to go for it. The last thing was just how much I enjoyed my curves and how much my boyfriend enjoyed them, as we explored my body and sexuality together . Finding an erogenous zone that followed the curve of my belly just seemed like the cherry on the already pretty tasty cake.
It was a very slow process covering several years to get to where I am today foodee/feedee and very proud of my curves and I'm glad I had someone so understanding to explore the path with.
I remember the first time he fed me, we'd been going out perhaps a year and were meeting friends in the café Nero near college. When he came back with our drinks he also had a large piece of chocolate cake balanced on the tray. Over the course of our coffee's he fed me small bites amid much eye rolling from our friends who thought we were being sickeningly mushy. There was something rather erotic about dragging my teeth across a fork I wasn't holding. It didn't take much to have me hooked.
That was the first time and things have just kept getting bigger and better since then. Four years on I've gained a little over 3 stone (42 pounds), lost a boyfriend and written a few feeder stories currently posted on tumblr and fantasy feeder and have no plans of stopping any time soon.
1 chapter, created 10 years
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