Chapter 1: Cake & Cream

$850.41.
Taking a break from work, I had to do the math. It's 2:35 pm, and my temples are pulsating from the summer heat. I can only open one window, and the afternoon sun is pouring through, dust particles floating around that beam of light. I don't know how much time I wasted staring into it while trying to figure out how I had gotten myself into this mess. I could not focus on writing, with creditors calling left and right. And my boy was telling me about the materials he needs for his costume for this cosplay event he wants to attend.

I tried retracing my steps, but my head was complaining. There are only a few days left until the bombardment begins. My birthday week will be full of calls from lenders asking when I can pay unless I have $850.41 to forward for everything starting on my birthday. For the life of me, I need a miracle because I don't qualify for a debt consolidation loan. I just felt tears streaming down my left cheek and then the other. I have no one to turn to, and I'm so spent. I'm so effin tired.

I stood up from my chair and stretched a little. From far away, I could hear my mom's laptop and The Hobbit playing. When I came out of my office room, she was writing down while listening to the movie being played. Her little corner was adjacent to the dining room.

Passing by her, she said, "Hi!" and I greeted her back. "There's a slice of mango cake in the fridge your brother brought home from work. You can have it"

I perked up a little because it's my new favorite ever since my brother started buying it from the cafeteria at work. It consisted of a thin roll of cake and a generous amount of buttercream that tasted like a ripe mango. I love eating it cold because I can taste the cream better when it hardens. I took it back to my room and sat on my chair again. Unwrapping the cake, I quickly bit on a chunk, savoring the cream and swirling it around my tongue. The cake was still moist and slightly bittersweet.

I put down my cake for a while and looked at it. Food brings me comfort in situations like this. I know my problems won't disappear, but I don't know what to do now. I placed my finger at the center of the cream and scooped a generous amount. I started licking, taking my sweet time savoring the delicious cream covering the length of my finger. Food always made me feel good somehow. Eating felt like something I could fully have and never get taken away from me. I have full control of what I can have in my body. No creditor will ever ask me to return the cake and cream I'm having right now.

In three days, they'll start calling, and I will have to fend for myself. It will be the most chaotic birthday unless I can find a way to get $850.41. I won't have anything to feast on but threats of what will happen unless I pay them back. I closed my eyes with my finger still in my mouth. The gentle mango cream on the tip of my tongue, slightly sweet, beckoning my mind to stop thinking for a while. Then I realized that the slice of mango cake might be the only present I get to have this year. I want my peace of mind back by paying off that amount of money this coming week. But signs point to this delicious cake, the only good thing I can have right now. I'm still hoping that I get to have more if my brother doesn't get angry with me because of my debt.

I finished off my cake and folded the plastic wrapper. I felt my jiggling belly through the fabric and lamented on the weight loss journey that stopped ages ago. But right now, I have to find a way to get through this. Time is running out...

(to be continued)