chapter 1

Oh god, my fat body drove me wild. I caressed every inch of my flesh as it pressed the boundaries of my sweat pants to their limits. Stroked my big belly, barely concealed by my boyfriend's XL T-shirt. As I gorged myself on the nachos I had prepared earlier, I dripped gooey cheese all over my face, strings of the velveta landing on my swollen breasts. "You're such a fat slob," I breathlessly said to myself. "You used to be fit. You used to have perky little tits. You used to shop in the petite section. Now you're a fat pig, constantly pining for your next meal." I heaved my large body onto all fours and placed the nachos in front of me. "Is this who you are now? Eating like a common farm animal? You can't even be bothered to bring the food to your face?" I dove into the plate of nachos and ate with no concern over cleanliness. Cheese, tortilla chips, and ground beef covered my face as I ate every last crumb of my meal. Once finished, I let out a huge moan. I could feel my pussy gushing in my oversized pants. "God, I'm so ***ing fat and I love it!"

"What the hell are you doing?!" A male voice drew me out of my ecstasy. My boyfriend was back, but how? He wasn't supposed to be home until after 7. Oh God! I looked at the clock. It was already 7:15.

"Baby, I can explain-" I started. This was only supposed to be my little fantasy.

"Explain what?" He yelled. "Pam, why you're pretending to be some ***, gorging yourself on nasty food in my clothing. What have you done, stuffed every pillow and blanket into your clothes?"

He wasn't far off. I had raided every closet looking for proper padding material. My home made fat suit was rather crude now that I looked at it, but man it felt so real five minutes ago. I was embarrassed. I never wanted my boyfriend to know. "Baby, this is only a fantasy of mine. I knew you wouldn't understand, so I just kind of kept it to myself."

"You fantasize about being fat? That's disgusting! I was getting close to dumping your ass anyway, but this is the final straw."

I grew angry at his rudeness. "You know what?" I started, my voice filling with rage. " I don't need you and I haven't for some time. I accept that I have these urges inside of me. I don't want to hide them away anymore and I don't want to see you ever again!"

"Well, that's fine. You can pack your stuff and get the hell out of my house!"

"Fine!" I yelled back as I stormed out of the room to grab my suitcase.

That was the end of my seven year relationship that had gone all the way through my college years and into my mid twenties. I realized soon after I had left that terrible man that I had not been happy for some time. He was constantly verbally abusing me and he mooched off of me all the time. I didn't need him anymore. I had a great job that allowed me to work from home and I needed a new beginning somewhere else.

Furthermore, I needed time to myself. I wanted to grow individually and experience things on my own. I also wanted to stop hiding my sexual desires. I had been fascinated by the fat lifestyle since I was 16, but had never had a chance to really explore it, because I was too afraid to share that with anyone I was with. And I was constantly in a relationship, it seemed. At first I only fantasizes about having big boobs or a big butt, but by the time I got to college, I used to envy the girls who had hundreds of pounds of fat hanging from their bodies. I thought about gaining weight myself, but every time I put on a few pounds or over indulged myself, my shit boyfriend always berated me. Eventually I found satisfaction in padding. My fat suits were always somewhat crude, but my imagination made up for any limitations.

I decided after moving out that I wanted to relocate somewhere completely new. I wanted privacy, a safe place to explore my padding fetish. So I moved to a smallish community in the Cascade Mountains. My job paid me very well, so I was able to find a great house off of a state highway that was surrounded by beautiful evergreens. I had neighbors, but I could barely see their houses through all of the wilderness. This was the perfect place to try stuff out.