bebe celeste: john dough excerpt

bebe celeste

(Excerpt from the book 'John Dough and The Cherub' by L. Frank Baum, the author of 'The Wizard of OZ').

"But now a sudden hubbub was heard at the door, and in rushed a number of the royal guard wheeling a big platform on which was seated a woman so exceedingly fat that she appeared to be much wider than she was long.
"Here! what's the trouble with Bebe Celeste?" asked the kinglet, frowning."

"She has lost two ounces, your Majesty," puffed one of the guards, wiping the perspiration from his forehead with his coat sleeve.
"Two ounces!" shouted the kinglet. "Now, by the toga of Samson--by the way, Nebbie, did Samson wear a toga?" He punched the fat man so severely that Nebbie gave a roar of pain before he answered.
"He wore several, your Majesty!"
"Then, by the several togas of Samson, Bebe Celeste, how dare you come before me two ounces shy?"
"I didn't come; I was brought," said the fat woman, in a wheezy voice.
"She was weighed in the balance and found wanting," said the guardsman.
"What was she wanting?" asked the kinglet.
"Two ounces, your Majesty."
The ruler rubbed his pug nose with one finger, in a reflective manner.
"Bebe," said he, "you've been exercising again. You're trying to reduce!"
The woman began to cry. "'T ain't my fault, your royal giblet--"
"Kinglet, woman!" said the fat man, without opening his eyes.

"Your royal kinglet, I didn't mean to lose a single flutter o' flesh. But my dog Duo got to quarrelling with himself and I got exercised in my mind--"
"Oh, the loss is in your mind, is it?" interrupted the kinglet. "I wouldn't mind the loss if I had not forbidden you to exercise at all, even in your mind."
"I couldn't help it, your fudgesty--"
"Majesty, woman!" said the fat man, sleepily."

"That reminds me of Bebe," said the kinglet, looking at the fat one sternly. "Take her away, guards, and stuff her with mashed potatoes and pate de foi gras. If she doesn't regain those two ounces in three days, she'll disgrace my kingdom, and I'll turn her over to the Royal Executioner."

So the guards trundled away the platform on which the fat lady sat, and the dog Duo followed, first one head leading, and then the other. And now his Majesty threw off his ermine robe and laid down the sceptre and scrambled out of the throne."
2523 views, 4 likes, 3 comments
hurgon 11 months
Nice snippet and pic!
RVGleason 11 months
It's an actual illustration from the book done by OZ illustrator John R. Neill.
Bruinsean 11 months
Interesting excerpt. Where did you get the picture?