chapter 7 (pt. 2)

"Uhhh....hi," Eric said with a wave. "My apologies, I didn't know we were expecting company."

"I asked him to come and speak with us Eric. This is Johann Stieglitz," Stephanie introduced.

"I'm probably gonna mispronounce that Mr. Stieglitz, but it's nice to meet you," Eric greeted with an outstretched hand.

Stieglitz declined to shake hands. "Quite alright, but it's actually DR. Stieglitz," he corrected in a deep, gravelly voice.

This response struck Eric as odd in multiple respects. First, a doctor with that voice would seem to have about as much bed side manner as Henry Kissinger. Beyond that, this stranger was a doctor who already knew Eric's name. It didn't take long for Eric to connect the dots as to where this was going.

Eric shot Stephanie a fierce glare. "Doctor!?! You had no right without consulting me first!"

"No right? We're married, Eric. We're supposed to trust one another and be partners for the rest of our lives. If I don't have the right, then who does?"

Eric wanted to point out the obvious. If trust was so central to their relationship, why had she not trusted him enough to tell him about Dr. Stieglitz? Why instead had she sought a new psychiatrist behind his back? Eric would've called her out on the spot, but held his tongue, given that he had been less than forthcoming lately himself where his online feeder was concerned.

"If I may," Dr. Stieglitz cut in, "I believe I could be of great assistance, Eric. From what your wife tells me, your condition is quite...complex."

"My condition?" Eric asked in a flagrantly acidic tone.

"Yes. From what Stephanie describes, you suffer from an acute paraphilic disorder."

"Disorder?" Eric repeated. Right off the bat, Dr. Stieglitz terminology rubbed Eric the wrong way. It wasn't merely the word disorder, but also his use of the term paraphilia, as opposed to fetish.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of, Eric. Mental health disorders are no different from health issues that plague the body. A diabetic has no need to conceal taking insulin. Neither should you feel uncomfortable in seeking out mental health treatment."

"Really, Dr. Stieglitz? Insulin can cure fetishes now?" Eric asked with feigned ignorance.

Eric's sarcasm was completely lost on the man. "No, Eric. I meant that..."

"Dr. Stieglitz, are you saying we'll need to prescribe medication in order to combat this?" Stephanie chimed in, much to Eric's dismay at the suggestion.

"Perhaps," Dr. Stieglitz answered in a distressingly matter-of-fact manner. "I don't think we can entirely discount the possibility of a biological component such as medication within the framework of your husband's treatment."

"Woah...woah! Slow down. I need to talk with my wife, Mr. Stieglitz."

"Doctor Stieg...."

Sensing that Eric was about to lose his cool, Stephanie interrupted again. "How did we get here Doctor? Eric's been so health conscious for as long as I've known him. This disorder is so uncharacteristic for him."

There was that word again, Eric thought, as he rolled his eyes in frustration.

"It's difficult to say. Traditional paraphilias emerge during adolescence. Often, there is a connection with events, relationships, or traumatic experiences during early childhood. Statistically, men are more likely to suffer paraphilias and, once established, they tend to be chronic."

Eric sighed. "Trust me, Doc. We're way past established."

"I agree. That is why it is imperative that we not delay treatment unnecessarily. The longer you allow your condition to continue unabated, the harder it will be to uproot."

Eric pleaded with his wife. "Stephanie, I'm losing weight. Things are getting better. Brining another doctor into the mix won't solve anything."

Tears begin to flood Stephanie's eyes. "Better? You don't even look at me in the bedroom anymore! At first, I thought you were cheating. Then, I worried you didn't find me attractive anymore. That I wasn't beautiful to you anymore." Stephanie sobbed and paused momentarily and took a deep breath. "I just want us to be happy, Eric. Like you promised we would be the day we got married. How are we going to start a family if we can't even have sex? Please, Eric! Give the man a chance."

To Eric, Stephanie's feelings had merit, but they begged the question, why couldn't they do those things and let Eric keep his fetish? Were the two mutually exclusive? Was playing out some of Eric's fantasies really so horrible?

Be that as it may, Eric could see his wife's grief and concern were genuine. Eric didn't know if Stieglitz had a cure and he was even less sure that he wanted one. In either case, Eric couldn't bear to see Stephanie in so much pain. After a long, begrudging pause, Eric acquiesced.

"I'd want to know more about this treatment before I committed...DOCTOR." Eric felt nauseous as he mustered the words.

"Of course, as you should," Dr. Stieglitz reassured. "The first likely step you're wife already touched upon: medication. The use of certain medications may be helpful in decreasing paraphilic behaviors."

"What sort of medications?" Eric inquired.

"Initially, I would lean towards prescribing a testosterone reducing agent in order to assist your body in controlling sexual urges."

This time it was Stephanie who grew alarmed. "Dr. Stieglitz, I told you we were trying to have children. I'm not trying to get my husband to stop having sex, I'm trying to get him to have NORMAL sex."

"Clinical practitioners try to avoid terms like normal, as they apply subjective classifications to amorphous thoughts and feelings." Eric mused, parroting Dr. Thrace's words from their first session.

Dr. Stieglitz ignored Eric's comment. "I understand your concern, Ma'am, but I'm not suggesting a permanent reduction in testosterone levels. I said INITIALLY," Dr. Stieglitz repeated with emphasis. "Reducing the amount of testosterone in the body effectively lowers sex drive. With lower sex drive, sexual behavior is likely to decrease. When sex drive is effectively decreased, the frequency in which one engages in sexual behavior also decreases, including paraphilic sexual behavior."

Eric couldn't believe the nonsense this doctor was espousing. They were going to get rid of his sexual fetish by getting rid of his desire to have sex altogether. Eric hated the idea, not just because it got rid of sex, but also because of the possible long term side effects wrought with hormone manipulation.

"Point taken, Doctor, but why not go big or go home? Have we considered castration as a potential cure?"

"Eric!" Stephanie chided.

Seemingly unsympathetic to Eric's discomfort, Dr. Stieglitz went on. "I never said cure, Eric. Indeed medication alone will not cure your deviant impulses. Medication must be combined with intensive cognitive behavioral therapy as well."

"Oh good, do tell more." Eric requested, in obvious sarcasm.

"There are a number of potential options. Masturbatory satiation and Orgasmic reconditioning, in which climax is forestalled or allowed only when appropriate sexual stimulation is provided."

Eric didn't understand how he was expected to masturbate after they proscribed medication to take away his sex drive, but Stieglitz continued.

"In more extreme cases, treatment might also encompass aversive therapies."

Eric's jaw dropped. Though not a psychologist, Eric recognized Stieglitz' terminology. "You want to give me shock therapy?!?"

"Aversive therapies can include the pairing of arousal at deviant fantasies with mild electric shock, yes, though not necessarily. Unpleasant smells and bitter tastes have also been employed successfully. It's similar to the aversion one might experience at the smell of a particular meal following a bout of food poisoning involving that same meal in the past."

"Have these techniques worked in the past when treating Eric's para...parfell...in treating his fetish?" Stephanie asked, as she stumbled over Dr. Stieglitz' terminology.

"This will be the first instance I've encountered the so-called 'feederism' fetish. However, my methodology has demonstrated reasonable success in treating a wide range of comparable paraphilic behaviors. In my professional opinion, this would be no different."

"What sort of behaviors are you referring to?" Eric demanded skeptically.

Dr. Stieglitz shrugged. "The majority of the cases I'm referencing involved subjects suffering from pedophilia."

"Jesus Christ!" Eric shouted.

"Eric, calm down!" Stephanie urged.

"Calm down?!? This guy has me in the same category as a fucking child molester! Don't tell me to calm down!"

"Eric, you must understand. Merely because I equate the two clinically, does not mean I am insinuating the two are morally or ethically succinct. No one is suggesting that your paraphilia involves anything but consenting adults. You must listen to reason, though, Eric! If you fail to take this matter seriously, your condition may become permanent."

Eric was finding Dr. Stieglitz proposed treatment far worse than the disease it sought to cure. "And what if it did?"

"If it were to remain unchecked, it could lead to further weight gain, obesity, and a myriad of health problems. Beyond physical considerations, it may substantially interfere with your ability to form and maintain meaningful intimate relationships. Your recent weight gain, along with your wife's very real concerns, are just the tip of the iceberg."