Chapter 15 - loving linda 1

I hadn't seen Linda in more than three years and during that time wished I could have forgotten her. Our breakup had been a rough one, all set in motion by my insistence that she diet off a few excess winter pounds, which frankly, I found attractive. I had always had a thing for chubby girls and yet as a former jock and a wrestling coach, I just couldn't let myself indulge my urges by hooking up with the kind of girls I had always felt the urge for. What would my thin thinking family say? What would my buddies say,what would the kids on my team think, how could I ask them to cut weight when I was dating a porker. Then one afternoon I met Linda

I had met her when she was moonlighting as a caterer during our year end Wrestling banquet and found her to be a knock-out: I was head over heels. Her vivacious personality, killer looks and scintillating blue eyed smile seared me to the quick. As the kids on the team filled their plates she joked with them about being able to finally eat again, so they might as well make it count...this was certainly better than the tournament food they had been chowing on for the last few months...no crockpot ziti, or cold pizza here! The kids loved it, and I asked her about how she knew so much about HS Wrestling and she told me she had been a "Mat-Maid" in High School, managing her schools team, and had even dated a few of the wrestlers. With that kind of opening, what could I do but ask "But never Coaches? I know one that would love to take you out sometime!"

Clumsy maybe, but we started dating the following weekend, and remained steady for a year, until that fateful night when I insisted that she lose some weight. She had probably only put on 10 pounds but with the Wrestling Tournament season in full swing, and spring after that, I was playing the ***! We had had a steamy relationship, on multiple levels for the past year, and as the winter weight had found its way onto Linda's perfect hourglass, softening it in all the right places I had found myself in sexual bliss...and yet I couldn't admit it to her, or anyone for that matter, I couldn't have a girlfriend that was even chubby!! Somebody might find out about my idiosyncracy, my guilty pleasure, my preference, my crime!!

As the fight ended, with Linda walking away chin up, after laying me out like only she could, I knew I had made a mistake. I planned on calling her, on confessing my passions, and my love...I did love her, have I said that yet...I loved everything about her from her humor through her passion for cooking, intelligence, the way she fingered her hair while watching a movie, everything!!! But I didn't call her soon enough...and she was gone a few weeks later. When I did call, her phone was disconnected, and she never answered her emails. Her friends told me she had a new job, and was out of town, and when I begged them to tell her I needed to see her, they laughingly told me that I had missed my chance and she had moved on.

Heartbreak!! I was bereft for weeks and over the next three years did alot of soul searching...searching that finally got me to admit to myself that I was a confirmed "Chubby Chaser"... that I liked big girls and could, should and would make that public. If I ever did find Linda again my own anxieties, self loathing and lies would never get between us again.

I dated a few times, never long term during those years, and weight now became an issue. I looked for well built women and even found myself using the web to get together with a few larger sized girls. Immediately I found that physically things clicked for me like never before with bigger women. Of course initially bigger meant chubby, but as time passed bigger became bigger, into the range many people would call fat. My most recent girlfriend had beenen, who was pushing 200 pounds at 5'3 and the weight showed, especially in the hips and ass. While I loved her figure, I didn't really find her personality too attractive and had to call off our realtionship one night over dinner at a local Thai place. She took the breakup well, finishing her dinner, calling a friend and upon their arrival had just gotten up and left me to finish my own plate of Red Curry Chicken. I felt a little empty, and sad, even though it had been I who had initiated everything and was getting ready to head home when a voice I recognized whispered over my shoulder..

"You still like my Curry I see, ***!"

I turned in surprise and looked right into the eyes of the love of my life..... "Linda" I found myself gasp!!

"Right you are Sherlock, and I see you got over your healthy lifestyle fixation, considering the chubby little wench you were just feeding! She had to go at least 200!!"

"Listen Linda...." I had to think quick...I couldn't blow this one..."I was an idiot!! A real idiot!! You were..."

"Too fat for you!! That's what I was then, too fat for you at a whole 150 pounds...I had to lose weight for my health right!! What about her, is that why she huffed out of here...you trying to put her on a diet!!"

At this point I was able to pull my vision back away from Linda's fiery blue eyes and take a look at her. My jaw just dropped at what I saw, and I stammered...."Diet...No Linda, I like big girls.....always have...I was just too.....ashamed of what people would think........I...."

"You were ashamed!! Ashamed of me putting on a little winter weight and now your out with a full fledged "Plumper"! She looked like she even wanted you to feed her!! And you were ashamed of me!!!"

"That's the point Linda, after I lost you I knew I had to come to grips with myself on my own desires! I felt like a freak in this world with everyone dieting and calling any girl with a bit of meat 'fat'! With the coaching and the sports, and you know my family, it was like I was trapped!! And I wanted you back...did your friends tell you.....I..."

Linda stared at me for what seemed like a full minute and as she did my eyes were able to re-focus on what had caused my jaw to drop moments before. Linda had gotten...large. Where before she had been an hour-glass shaped blond with a great ass and boobs and a tiny little muffin top...at least the day we had had our fight, she had bloomed. She was a full fledged hour-glass now, with a tendency toward pearing out it seemed as I quickly scanned her with greedy eyes. She had to be about 180 to 200 pounds and she was wearing it well. Linda finally continued...

"Jack, I thought I was in love with you once, and you broke my heart. I loved spending time with you and the team, with your family, and I felt like we were meant to be together.You hurt me terribly you know, and I almost made a huge mistake as the result of it, but listen. What you just said at least allows me to understand you, and why you did it, which is something I have been wondering about for more than three years now but anyway. Finish your Curry and go please. I just can't...Are you checking me out!! Damn it Jack....

"Linda, Your beautiful, and ..."

"Don't give me that! You are probably thinking about how many sets on one of your excercise machines it will take to get this weight off of..."

"Your beautiful Linda....I love you as you are...or want to be!! Bigger or.."

"Jack listen, I have been a bit bigger than this recently...it's part of the mistake I was telling you about, and I have spent the last 6 months dieting and excercising...literally excercising my ass off....hoping to find a man that reminds me of..."