chapter 3

Ian was looking forward to his fortnight of partying. After all, he had a whole week off work to recover before New Year's Eve and that was a different type of party altogether!
The first one was something specials do had been more expensive than the rest. It was a grand Elizabethan banquet held in a medieval castle, which was now ran as a five star hotel.
Ian arrived early. The venue was a bit out of the way and he knew he would be drinking, so he couldn't drive. He had decided to stay the night. Catherine knew it was the safest option, so agreed.
She knew that sometimes Ian had a roving eye and she suspected he may have had one or two one night stands, even after they were married. She did not entirely trust him to spend a night away from home without her, but, she had been to a medieval banquet before. By the end of it, he would be so drunk he would be incapable of anything!
The night before, she prepared and packed a bag for him. She knew him. If he did it, by the time he unpacked, his shirt would be crumpled, his suit would be crumpled and he would have forgotten to pack something important, like his shoes!
He finished work a little early so that he could travel there and check in. He spent an hour there looking around at the ancient grandeur and learning the history of the building before he got himself ready.
Then he headed off to the bar. He was one of the first there. By the time the others arrived, he was already quite relaxed after consuming two pints of beer.
They were sat on wooden benches at wooden tables. A couple was chosen by the staff at random as they walked in to be Lord and lady, they were seated at the top table on a dias, overlooking everyone else. Ian was glad he had not come with Catherine, or he might have been chosen for the same fate and he preferred to stay out of the limelight.
Next they were all issued with a knife, a wooden spoon and a bib. Forks had not yet been invented, they were told, so they would be eating with their fingers for the most part. They had two goblets each. The largest one was for wine, which would be poured later. The smallest one was for mead, a drink made by monks from honey. This was served throughout the meal and topped up whenever the goblet became empty.
The waiters and all the entertainment staff were dressed appropriately for the period. Their compère for the evening spoke in rhyming couplets using Shakespearean English. It all simply added to the atmosphere and the fun of it was they sat under the wooden beams and stone walls of the castle, listening to a traditional, orchestra who played time appropriate instruments from the minstrel's gallery.
The first course was a broth - a thick vegetable soup served with large chunks of bread. They were instructed to dip the bread in the soup, allow it to absorb the moisture and then eat the bread. Correct table manners did not apply as they had not yet been refined. When they were finished the bread and there was no moisture left in the bowl, they could eat the remainder with their spoon.
Ian was now very 'merry' in the medieval sense! He liked the sweet mead and had drank at least two goblets of the stuff already!
Next, there followed fish in a white sauce, served with potato and cheese on the top in a scallop shell. They were allowed to use their spoons for this. Their large goblets were filled with white wine and the mead goblet topped up.
The course was accompanied by appropriately dressed minstrels singing traditional songs and was quite delicious!
Most diners had a glazed expression on their face as the shells were cleared away and the next course of ribs in a traditional red wine sauce with herbs was served. The large goblets were now filled up with red wine and there was yet more mead.
With everyone now relaxed into the meal, they were able to pick the ribs up and eat with their hands without worrying about their manners. Everyone had sauce on their faces. Everyone had sticky fingers!
By the end of that course, some people were complaining of feeling full. There were still another two courses to come! The first of which was chicken, cooked in mead , with a jacket potato and green beans.
Several diners struggled to finish, Ian included, but he was so drunk by this time and so engrossed in the experience that he pushed himself on.
There was a choice of pudding. He could have a traditional piece of Christmas pudding, with brandy sauce, or he could have a lighter trifle. He opted for the lighter of the options. He could feel his waistband was already tight. If he had the Christmas pud, he thought he would be struggling to move!
As it was, the trifle filled up every spare bit of space in his belly. During a trip to the lavatory, Ian was surprised at how round and hard his belly was. He didn't dwell on it though. The night was still young! There was still a traditional medieval disco in the old wine cellar to follow. He had a seat to find... at the bar!

It was after midnight when Ian finally stumbled up the stairs to his room. He was so drunk, he could not coordinate his fingers to loosen his clothing. He simply flopped on top of the bed and started to snore.

The next morning, he woke up in a panic as the winter sun streamed in through the windows. He had slept through his alarm! He sat up rapidly, then regretted it. His head! He remembered last night. It was a fabulous night, he'd thoroughly enjoyed it, but he'd drank far too much! He knew that if he was going to survive the next fortnight, he was going to have to curb his thirst for alcoholic beverages!

He had a shower to freshen himself up and got dressed. He made a quick call in to work to tell them he was going to be late. Thankfully, he was not the only one with a hangover!