chapter 2

NAME: Colleen Fischer

DATE OF BIRTH: 3/8/1990

HEIGHT: 6 Feet, Two inches

WEIGHT: 589 Pounds?

EDUCATION: Bachelor's Degree

OCCUPATION: Administrative Director

DAILY CALORIC INTAKE:

Colleen furrowed her brow in frustration. The application had been pretty straightforward so far, but how was she supposed to know how many calories she ate every day? Next to the question was a drop-down menu with a list of answers, the first being "I don't know." She clicked that option and continued on with the application. The remainder of it mostly consisted of medical questions, asking her to list any obesity related and non-obesity related conditions she suffered from. Shockingly enough, Colleen had yet to be diagnosed with any obesity related illnesses, and was about as healthy as someone her size could be. She clicked her way through the application and munched her way through her Doritos until reaching the end.

"You're almost done! For the final step of the application, we'd like to get to know you on a more intimate level. Please record a short video (five minutes, maximum) in which you tell us a bit about yourself and why you feel you'd be a great candidate for our super obesity program! Then upload the video and press 'Submit.'"

Colleen sighed. She wanted to close the application right then and there, and just forget about the whole idea. What did they expect her to say? "Hi I'm Colleen, I'm a big fat pig, I can't stop eating and don't plan to, so can you feed me until I'm too big to move anymore?"

"Nobody's gonna know you even applied, they'll never see the video, you can just delete it as soon as you upload it to the application. You don't even know if you stand a chance at being picked! It can't hurt to try..." Colleen thought to herself.

She chugged down the last of her soda and dumped the remaining Dorito crumbs down her throat, straight from the bag. Heaving herself up onto her feet, she waddled into her bedroom and propped her cell phone up at the foot of the bed. She sat up against the headboard, angling herself to look as big and fat as possible, her belly puffed out and dominating the shot. When she finally got the perfect angle, she began filming.

"Hi, my name is Colleen Fischer, and I'm 28 years old. Um, I've always been a... um, bigger girl, for about as far back as I can remember. Food has just always been my favorite thing, it's a stress reliever, I guess, I just... Love it. For a while I used to be pretty OK with being big, it never stopped me from doing things I liked to do, y'know? But, um, in the last few years, especially as I've gotten over 400 pounds, I've just, um, noticed my weight affecting my life more and more. The last time I weighed myself was in the hospital over a year ago, and I was... I was 589 then. I'm sure I've gained since then, but I don't know how much, because my scale here at home only goes up to 550 pounds, and my belly is so big that I can't see the numbers on it. I think I'm over 600 pounds now, because I get very tired very easily. Getting around, even if it's just to go to the bathroom, is super hard for me. I still drive, I still go to work, but the more I eat, the bigger I get, the harder it gets. And I can't stop eating. I, um... I really don't want to stop eating. I think I'm too far gone to diet and exercise, and I've accepted the fact that I'm probably gonna keep getting bigger. How much bigger, I don't know. Weight loss surgery isn't an option for me, because my insurance won't cover it. But, if I, um, could get into your program, it would be a huge help. I've avoided going to the doctor unless it's absolutely life or death, because I'm so sick of being shamed and reprimanded for being fat. I'm going to have to make some, um, very tough decisions about my future if I'm gonna keep going, um... Like this. But, like I said, if I got into your program, it would... Well, it would spare me from having to deal with all that. So, um, thank you so much for watching this and considering my application, and um, I hope to hear back from you guys!"

Colleen found herself tearing up as she submitted the application. Hearing herself talk about her weight for the first time ever was a very jarring and uncomfortable experience. It was one thing when her concerns about her size were just thoughts lurking in the back of her head. Those were easily subdued with a chocolate cheesecake or a gallon of ice cream. But articulating those concerns verbally made them feel much more real. She deleted the video as soon as she uploaded it, and ordered a bunch of takeout to ease her anxiety: three large meat lover's pizzas, mozzarella sticks, French fries, chicken wings, and two bottles of Coke. Nervous butterflies and ravenous hunger fought for control over her enormous belly as she waddled back to the kitchen, grabbing two handfuls of chocolate chip cookies from a tub on her counter and going back to the couch. She channel surfed and tried her best to distract herself as she waited for relief to arrive.

DING DONG!!!

Nothing made Colleen move faster than the prospect of more food. A surge of adrenaline propelled her fat ass off the couch, and she began the arduous walk to the front door. It was hard to tell whether the heavy breathing she was doing was from her excitement or just the fact that she was already tired. Honestly, it was probably a bit of both. Her hips grazed each side of the living room doorway, a sensation she had grown to hate, as it was even more confirmation of her weight spiraling out of control. She grunted and recoiled, shaking the feeling off as she trudged forward.

"Hi..." She gasped, leaning on the threshold with one hand in a futile attempt to mask her exhaustion.

"Sign here, please." The bewildered delivery driver squeaked.

Colleen wiped the sweat from her brow and took the mini-clipboard and pen from the driver. Her heart rattled around in her chest and her stomach flip flopped inside of her as her unsteady hands signed the receipt. This was always the worst part for her. She felt so ashamed, so guilty, so disgusting, all at the same time. Her face contorted into a pained, sorrowful expression as she added a generous $20 tip to the delivery driver, as if to say "I'm sorry I'm such an enormous, disgusting, fat, greedy, hog, and that you have to bring all this food to me. Take this tip as my penance for my extreme gluttony."

She handed back the clipboard and took the three pizza boxes and two plastic bags from the driver, who suddenly was in much better spirits.

"Oh, my God, thank you so much ma'am!" He beamed.

"Your welcome..." Colleen mumbled back, eyes to the ground as she turned around and hurried back inside.

When Colleen had food she felt like there was a demon behind her, poking her with a hot pitchfork, urging her to waddle faster to wherever she needed to be so she could dig in. It was worse when she was out in public. Though she had been obese for the majority of her life, she still felt terrible going out to get food. Her hunger and cravings always overwhelmed the embarrassment in the end, but that didn't mean she was completely numb to it. She put the pizzas and the rest of the food down on her coffee table and hurried off to the kitchen to get a cup of ice and a paper plate. As she poured a tall glass of Coke and opened up the steaming hot pizza, her anxiety finally began to subside, and vanished completely once she took her first big bite.

Colleen quickly reached for her soda as the scalding hot pizza burned her mouth. She waved her hand at her mouth to try and cool it off before guzzling down her Coke. The plate sat on her big belly, which while convenient, was something she'd never do outside the privacy of her own home. She opted to let the pizza cool and piled another plate with French fries, dousing them with ketchup and shoveling them into her mouth by the handful. Dopamine flooded her brain and the demon that was behind her just a few minutes before had disappeared.

For someone who loved food as much as Colleen, she didn't seem to savor it much. It was as if she just chewed her food enough to swallow it without choking, and that her primary objective was filling her belly, not enjoying the taste of the food. Now, all there was, was her and her food. What was there to worry about when there was so much food to eat?

She made quick work of the fries, and next were the wings. Colleen was particular about making sure she ate the entirety of each type of food she ordered before moving on to the next dish. Wings were one of her favorite foods, and after years of honing her skills, she was able to practically suck the bone clean in a matter of seconds. She'd bite the side, take the majority of the meat off in one bite, then stick the bone in her mouth and suck the rest of the meat right off. To her credit, Colleen was an eating machine, and ate with such stunning and robotic efficiency that you'd wonder if she was even deriving pleasure from the process. It almost, almost, looked like it was her job to plow through the 30 wings as quickly as humanly possible.

Of course, Colleen got tremendous pleasure from devouring the wings.

And the mozzarella sticks.

And all. Three. Large. Pizzas.

Even when the body has had enough of something, be it drugs, alcohol, or food, the mind is powerful enough to override it. Colleen had been full since the first pizza, but her restless mind screamed and begged for more. If there was food in front of her, she HAD to eat it, no matter what. She was sweating, gasping, and stuffed to her absolute maximum. Each burp threatened to send it all rocketing back up. She'd eaten herself temporarily immobile, but as she began to yawn and her belly settled, she realized she'd finally reached her goal: the food coma. All of her anxieties, troubles, and concerns melted away as her eyes slowly shut and she drifted off.