chapter 2

Year 10:
Dearest Husband,
We have stood by each other for these past ten years, but it feels as though I need you more now than ever. It occurred to me recently that I rely on you for so very much. Not just financially, for heaven knows that home-made crafts barely pay the bills, but emotionally as well. I've gone through such a rough time lately, feeling, if I can be frank, depressed with all that's happened or rather, not happened. I know you say it's not my fault but the medical tests don't lie - I'm the one who's preventing our family from growing.

You have been so patient and kind towards me, despite all my recent short-comings. Now, I know you're probably thinking: "That's not true, I love you just the way you are!", as you've told me so many times before. But honestly, you must admit that I've been a big weight on your shoulders...and I don't mean that just metaphorically.

I know I've said it a thousand times by now but it bears repeating: nothing fits anymore! My friends told me to be careful of the "thirty-something spread", but it feels like it happened all at once and I woke up as fat one day! OK, I know, technically I'm not overweight, but compared to the guy who hasn't gained a pound since college I look and feel like a whale! I honestly don't understand how you do it. I mean, how aren't you the least bit tempted by chocolate? Come to think of it, I can't even remember the last time you ate a cookie. Well don't worry, because my growing gut will attest to the fact that I'm apparently eating enough dessert for the two of us. And while I'm emptying out our pantry and lounging on the couch you're busy staying active and in shape. I know you won't admit it, but there must be a part of you that's embarrassed by me. Though, I suppose it's possible that you really will love me no matter how many rich, savory meals I stuff down my gullet. Ah, what's worst of all is that even while I write this I'm making myself hungry! I really need make a change because if this keeps up you may be stuck with a big fat wife.

I'm sorry for rambling about my personal issues. I just needed to vent. I trust that you will take care of me, as you always have and hopefully always will. Everything will be just fine. Right dearest?

You are my man, my provider, my protector. I will love you, always.

Happy Anniversary!