Chapter 8

Dean noticed Nico's indecisive attitude and felt upset. He thought they were together. It had been months of them hanging out together. Why wouldn't they be boyfriend and boyfriend?

Dean suddenly felt insecure. 'Nico has been "out" for years, he probably doesn't want to be with me.' Dean thought glumly.

'Maybe it's how I look!?' Dean thought with slight fear. He thought of the holidays and the three pounds he had put on.

He thought there were so many reasons why Nico would like someone else, and his overindulgence at meals added to an invisible list of why Nico wouldn't want to be with him.

Dean really liked him. Maybe Nico wanted to have sex first. Dean felt his insides tighten at the thought. That would be too scary. That would be terrifying. He had no idea how to, well, he had the general picture, but knowing and executing are two different things.

"I guess not." Dean said.

"I could be."

"Nico, I...I don't want to push you into a relationship with me." Nico looked at how hurt Dean was. It startled him. Dean always seemed so sure of everything. "And you probably like that blond gu...Rick." Dean stood up. Nico did too.

"Now I see...you don't have to be jealous of Rick, he's just a friend."

"You've been awfully close since as long as I can remember. I can understand you wanting to be with him."

"If that's so true, why aren't we together now?"

"I don't know."

"Because Rick is straight." Nico never considered Rick straight or gay. Rick was Rick. He never had any girlfriends, and only sometimes made jokes about Nico being attractive....they were jokes, right?

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." 'No.' Nico began to think.

Nico finally figured out the problem. Rick was the problem. He loved Rick more than he had grown to love Dean.

He and Rick went to 'hang out' all the time. But years of the two going to movies, and dinner, and the mall, amusement parks. They did everything together, the two of them. Did Rick know this is how things looked? Two guys doing everything together...everything. They had been dating and neither had even realized it.

Dean left after that and Nicolas telephoned Ricky. They needed to talk and Nico couldn't stand it. He was in love with Rick. How crazy is that?

"Hey Nico."

"..."

"Ni co?"

"Rick...I...I...I think I'm in love with you." Laughter erupted from the other end.

"No, Rick please." Rick stopped laughing.

"Nico, I..." Rick sighed. "I'm not gay." Heartbreak.

"I thought so." Nico was crying. "I'm sor..sorry."

"Me too."

Nico hung up the phone.

"Nico?"

He went up to his room and cried. 'How stupid am I? I ruined my one friendship. Rick most definitely won't want to hang around somebody who's in love with him...was in love with him.'