Chapter 2 - higher!

As he grew older, Josh's look was in demand. He became an international male sipermodel!

Being at the top was not easy! To maintain his figure, he had to spend about two hours in the gym every day. He had to be careful that he did not lift too many weights and bulk up. He had to maintain a balance between aerobic fitness, yet still lift enough weights to maintain his small, but firm pecs and six pack.
For his muscles to be visible, he had to have zero body fat that meant a very strict high protein, low carb diet every day. He could never cheat, or it might jeopardise his next job.
On set, just before his photo shoot or catwalk, to make his muscles stand out even more, he had to drink as little as possible, become dehydrated, then wake his muscles up by doing a few press-ups or crunches backstage.
He didn't eat beforehand as a stomach with food in could make it look like he'd put on two pounds.
On stage or in front of the camera, he could not complain about how uncomfortable he was, or about his muscles cramping up. He just had to get on with it. The sooner he got finished, the quicker he could rehydrate and grab a bite to eat.

Modelling may appear to be very glamorous, but that was only the final product. To get there, Josh might have to fly in from another country, go straight to the set from the airport, with no time to freshen up. He might spend hours in hair and make up, although admittedly, not as long as the girls. Then, he might have to sit around, waiting for it to stop raining, or waiting for the photographer to decide when the light was right.
After finishing on set, he made sure he removed most of his face make up himself and stuck his hair under a hat before getting a taxi to his hotel. After checking in, he could finally have a shower to be rid of the remaining goo left over from the photo shoot.
Then he had to think about heading to the gym, and having another shower before getting ready and heading out to a party in the evening.
Unfortunately, he did not go to parties to enjoy himself. He had to go to get himself seen, to mingle, to network with designers, to get his name and face known.
He never stayed very long, just long enough to have been noticed, then it was on to the next one. Sometimes he could attend five parties in one night!
Red carpet premieres or award ceremonies were all about the facade. If he wasn't even nominated and not presenting an award, there was not much point in him staying when he could be heading out the back door to a waiting taxi and heading off to another party. He was not the only one who did it! Why sit through hours of a film you were not even interested in, when he could be schmoozimg somewhere else?
However despite all the free champagne and canap�s available at these dos, he could not have any of it! He could not afford to get drunk and say the wrong thing, or behave in an unbecoming manner, or somehow it would find it's way into the tabloids. The alcohol was pure sugar that would turn to fat. The canap�s were an unknown quantity. How could he eat them without knowing what was on them? The only thing he put in his mouth at parties was water.
He often did not get back until 02.00 in the morning. After six hours sleep, he got up to go to the gym or go for a run for an hour. If he did not have another job that morning, he would have to spend time in the salon, waxing away every little bit of body hair, topping up his tan. Weekly facials, manicures and pedicures were mandatory. A full body massage after all his work in the gym was something he looked forward to, but often did not have time for.

He travelled with an assistant. She kept his diary for him, she booked his flights - he never flew economy! She booked his hotels, a chauffeur driven car or taxis, she arranged the party and red carpet invites and other appointments.
He had his own personal trainer with him. He did not just make sure Josh did the right workouts, but he ensured he got the right nutrition, sometimes he had to go into the hotel kitchens himself to cook them correctly.
Despite all this, Josh did very little sightseeing. He only visited tourist destinations if he had a job there or if it was something he could see out or a car or aeroplane window.

He very rarely had a day off to go shopping or relax by the pool, or on a beach. He seldom saw his freinds or family. The only people he met were other models, or those who could further his career.

It was a hectic, demanding lifestyle to keep up for a week or so, but Josh kept going for years! There was only one way he could do it.

COCAINE!

A line of cocaine could hold off the hunger pangs for just a little bit longer.
A line of cocaine could make him turn on the charm when he was too tired to care.
A line of cocaine could push him through his exhaustion so that he could finish his workout.

His assistant would make the arrangements so that he never had to cross borders with drugs on his person. He never had to speak to the dealers himself, it was simply always there when he wanted and needed it.
Of course, sometimes he came home too wired to sleep. His assistant had that covered too in the shape of some little green pills.

He was an addict. There was no doubting that, but his addiction was helping him earn. He could earn anything between a hundred dollars an hour to two hundred. Some days he might only do two hours of paid work, the rest of his day would be spent travelling, body maintainance and schmoozing. If it was fashion week, he might put in fourteen hours of paid work in one day.
Josh did not see most of his earnings. His expenses swallowed most of them up... wages for his assistant and trainer, hotels, flights, drivers and his drugs all cost money.
Sometimes, designers could not afford to pay him in cash, so he got paid in clothes. ...so his bank account may be in the red, but at least he didn't look like a pauper!
The worst of it was, the more work he did, the more his expenses rose.
He though that he might have earned enough from modelling to retire before he was thirty. At this rate he'd still be hobbling down the runway in his sixties with a walking stick in his hand!

The only holidays he took were two weeks between Christmas and new year, but that was only because everything else in fashion closed as well. Then again, by the time he had flown back from say, Singapore and got over his jet lag, then Christmas was over and he had to fly out a day before the holidays ended to get to the destination of his next job.
Christmas was not an excuse to indulge in chocolate or skip workouts. He could not enjoy a full Christmas dinner. There was always a slight chance he might get a last minute call for a job anywhere in the world. He could not start turning work down or they'd think he wasn't interested and not book him any more. There was always new competition coming up behind him.
There was always the chance that the phone would simply stop ringing. Maybe his was not the look that they wanted any more. He might have to change his image to fit in. He might have to dye his hair, or shave it off. He might have to put on more muscle or lose even more weight. Whatever the client wanted was what mattered.

Was he happy?
If he was asked the question by a client, of course, it was a resounding 'yes!' If he was being interviewed, he might smile and say'what do you think?' But truthfully, he was far from happy. The busy bustling days kept his real feelings under wraps. The cocaine helped him portray a bubbly happy-go-lucky character, when the real Josh was much more melancholic.

The reality was he could change anything he wanted to suit a client's whims, but he could not change anything to please himself.
He was stuck on a treadmill that was getting faster and faster and he did not know how to get off!