chapter 5 — doomsday

‘Oh Killian, would you look at that radiant sunrise!’

Argh. Not yet. More sleep...

‘Don't touch those curtains’

‘What was that? Killian? You don't want to touch the curtains? Well don't worry then, I'll touch them for you!’

‘Wait, what?’ I said, ‘Don't open th... AHH!’

My eyes are like, burning like a vulnerable vampire to the sun... I quickly turn my head into my pillow. Wait, something isn't right...

‘BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…’ announces the alarm clock.

‘FUCKING HELL CASS, you woke me up BEFORE my alarm?’

‘The Hills are alive!!! With the sound of music... FAAAA, LA LA LAAAAH!!!’

Oh, the joys of sharing a room. Who the fuck celebrates the morning? EVERY SINGLE DAY? I swear, she needs like, treatment for this serious condition.

‘Take a good look outside that window Cassidy. There ARE NO FUCKING HILLS!’

‘Come on Killian! Today's an exciting day! You're going on a date with Monifa!’

Oh shit. Fuck my life.

‘Are you serious Cass? How's that like, a reason to get out of bed?’

‘Shall I put it another way? Today's the day you out yourself to the school!’

‘Fuck　off.’

‘How exciting!’ she giggles.

So today is Friday. Joyful. When I get to school, I’ve totally braced myself for Iluka’s frantic anxiety that I’ve had to put up with for the past few days. Except that strangely—and I’m not complaining here—he is really quiet today. In fact, he kind of looks a bit pale. On second thought, I don’t like it. Big strong confident Iluka is now a sickly nervous wreck. It’s so not cool. At lunchtime we head to the footy field… All he needs is some blood circulation to get rid of his like, zombie complexion.

So, we start the game, and I must be playing pretty hard right, ‘cause my forehead is flooding sweat into my eyes. It’s 10 minutes into the game and I’m getting pretty tired too… Suddenly the ball is falling from the sky 10 m [11 yards] in front of me, which is great, ‘cause there’s no way I can miss it. I’m running to where it’s gonna land and… oh? The ball bounces off the field. I didn’t get there in time. I wasn’t fast enough.

‘Fuck Lynch! How’d YOU miss THAT?’ someone calls.

‘What were you waitin’ for Lynch?’ says someone else.

‘You call THAT running?!!!’ remarks yet another teammate.

‘Sorry guys,’ I say, pretty embarrassed.

We ended up winning the game by lunchtime, so like, everybody forgets about my miss. Iluka is looking much better too, and even kicked two goals. For a change though, I didn’t kick a single goal — and I am sooo NOT cool with that. Maybe it’s got something to do with me not playing footy since Monday… I just need to get back into practice.

Anyways, we’re on our ways back to class when low and behold, guess who stops us in our tracks?

‘Wow Iluka! Two goals! Are you just putting on a show for me?’ says Anahera.

‘If I had known you were watching, I would have kicked four goals Anahera.’

Pfft, is he for real? She’s been his one-man cheerleader all week, how could he not know she was watching?

‘Oh, you’re so talented Iluka!’ she continues.

‘You played alright too Killian,’ Mon says.

Seriously the blatant lies us teenagers use to get in each other’s pants are just obvious and pathetic. But I guess we’re like, so keen to have sex that we really couldn’t care less anyway.

‘Nah, that was my worst played game. Ever,’ I say, with hint of reality.

‘Killian here is just saving all his energy for tonight, girls,’ Iluka goes, ‘And by the way Anahera, I need your address so I can pick you up!’

‘You have a license?!’ Anahera goes, with an impressed look on her face.

‘And it expires at midnight.’ responds Iluka, with a wink. What does that even mean?

So, this is it. My disaster night is well and truly here. After my shower I remember to overdose on the cologne… I do several sprays on my body AND back just to be certain I’m stinking beautifully. Not to my advantage though, ‘cause now I’m like, choking for air. I bend over to breath the fresher air at the lower levels of the bathroom when I notice the scale.

Funny right?! I haven’t checked my body out all week! I guess I’ve been too busy. So, I jump on the scales, and they read 160. Huh? I step off the scales and then back on again, y’know, in case the reading was wrong. 160lbs. Seriously? I gained 6 pounds? So now I’m trying to work out where the pounds have come from. I guess since last week I HAVE been eating larger amounts at dinner. And I have been eating lunches from the canteen… on top of my homemade sandwiches. That’s a lot more food.

Come to think of it, I haven’t exercised AT ALL since Monday either. I’ve stopped sit-ups at night. I’ve stopped running at night. I’ve stopped football by day. Fucken hell I was blind today… I thought I was having a bad footy game today, but all along I’ve just lost some fitness. That’s it. I’ve gotta check myself out. Looking through the mirror I see my normal self. Except my natural abs have faded a little. Oh wait, I’m tensing. Oh, okay. Really? After relaxing my muscles, I actually don’t have natural abs at all. But my tummy’s still pretty flat. So yeah, I look the same, really. Putting my clothes on I do notice that my jeans fit me nice and snug. The shirt looks great with my jeans too.

Anyways, it’s time to catch the bus to dinner. I wouldn’t want to be late… oh, well, actually… Ahh, never mind. Just GO, Killian. I’m going. I’m gone.