chapter 3

I stood there on the driveway in my stocking feet, and no coat. I had no wallet because my jacket was inside, so I had no money, no credit cards and no phone.
I could have stood there arguing back at Beverley, but I didn't think there was much point. I would wait until she had calmed down somewhat. I still had my car keys in my pocket, so at least I could sit in the car, out of they way.
I remembered I had put some emergency items in the boot last winter when the snow had been particularly bad.
I didn't have any use for the shovel unless I was going to tunnel into the house. The blanket would keep me warm tonight thought. Unfortunately the long forgotten flask of tea was clay cold, but I'd had the foresight to put packet of lemon sherbet boiled sweets. I might be missing my dinner tonight, but I was not going to starve!
I moved the car so that it was across the driveway, blocking her exit, then got into the passenger seat. I sat for quite a while with the engine idling, listening to the radio and enjoying the tart sweetness of the lemon sherbets as I sucked on them.
Beverley, I thought, was being most unreasonable. Tomorrow would be different, once she'd had a good sleep. It was quite possibly her 'time of the month', a day of two of complete irrational, emotional madness.
I tried not to think of the real causes for her bruises. I believed her excuses for coming home late.
Whatever differences we had we could work on. Our marriage was worth saving. I loved her, I was sure she loved me.
Maybe she wanted to have a family. Well, it wasn't like we hadn't tried! It was simply the fact that Beverley had not fallen pregnant.
Tomorrow, we could talk some more about that. Maybe it was me who was at fault. I might not be producing enough strong swimmers. We could go to the doctors and have some tests, if that was what she wanted.
The sky darkened and the radio station put on an hour of jazz. I switched it off, I hated jazz. I reclined the seat pulled up the checky picnic blanket and closed my eyes. Tomorrow was another day.

The next morning I woke as the sun rose. I was aching all over from having to sleep in such an unfamiliar position.
I waited and watched the house for over an hour.
Then I realised... how stupid was I?... I still had my house keys! I could sneak in while she was asleep, turn the alarm off and raid the kitchen for my breakfast at the very least!
So, that's what I did. I broke into my own house like a common burglar. I found my jacket with my wallet, which was my immediate concern. If Beverley was serious about the divorce, I would have to get to the bank double quick before she closed the joint account. I couldn't let her leave me homeless, jobless and penniless. At least a couple of thousand in that account was mine!
I ate a big bowl of cereal and was busy making some toast when she appeared in the doorway, still sleepy eyed in her nightie. I decided to play it cool.
"Morning hon, I'm just making some toast. Would you like some?" I even sneaked a peck on her cheek before the realisation set in.
Clearly she had not forgotten the incident from yesterday. I will spare you the abuse and swearing she hurled at me and say it took her five minutes to tell me how unhappy she was to find me in HER kitchen.
She was going to allow me half an hour to grab what I needed before she rang the police to evict me.
I was not going to spend half of my precious half hour arguing back at her, but as I ran up the stairs and spent five minutes wrestling with the loft ladder to bring down a suitable suitcase, I contemplated how the police were going to evict me from my own home. She had no court order! I was not like I had a criminal record. I didn't even have as much as a parking fine against my name! She, on the other hand had so many points on her license for speeding that she risked losing it at least once, to my knowledge!
I flung the entire contents of my drawers, wardrobe and bathroom cabinet into two suitcases. I didn't bother folding anything. Neatness to avoid creasing was not a priority. Once I'd filled the cases with clothing and toiletries, I looked for other items I could take before she stopped me. I had my mobile phone in my jacket pocket. (I double checked). I forced a laptop and iPad into one of the cases. After that I was just flinging things in at random until both the cases were full. I packed the cases into the car, retrieved some random, but small and portable tools from the garage and my time was up!
She flung me another set of keys at me. She said she was keeping the house, but she was not leaving me completely bereft. She would sort out the legalities later. I didn't look to see what keys she was giving me, I didn't hang about any longer. I had to get to the bank before it opened!
I opened up a new, separate account and deposited a couple of thousand of my own money, plus an extra three thousand. That still left her with over a million to live on. It was not like I was wiping her out! I could have taken the whole bang lot!

I sat in the car afterwards breathing a sigh of relief.
What happened next? Did I have to get a solicitor involved now? I didn't have a clue how it worked. I still had hopes that this might only be a temporary arrangement. Next week she would apologise and take me back.
I picked up the keys she had given me. A label on the fob told me they were the keys to 'The Waggon'.
I knew 'the Waggon' was the pub she owned. I knew where it was, but I had never been in. It was time to survey mt new home!