Chapter 4

“So what do I do here, exactly,” said Egress looking around the messy apartment with a relaxed grin.

“Do you know how to use one of those coffee percolator things?” asked Polygon.

“Er... yeah- assuming you mean those things that you use to make coffee that isn’t instant and not, like, a big cappuccino machine or something...” Egress said.

“Good!” said Polygon, “Then you’ve already paid for yourself. Come on, Bon Mot, let’s show this young woman to... THE DEVICE!”

“Okay,” said Bon Mot and stood up from the sofa, a soppy grin still pasted onto his face.

The two gamers led their new P.A into the kitchen with an air of nervous anticipation. When she was inside, Bon Mot made his way over to a shape covered with a dustsheet and, with great flourish, whipped off this covering to reveal a coffee percolator. Polygon underlined the momentous occasion by making a gesture like a loyal servant showing a king to his throne.

“Will M’lady require to be left in quiet contemplation while she works the rituals that operate this strange device, or will you require assistance?” said Bon Mot.

Egress smiled. She got it now. These two were geeks who had decided they wanted someone else around the house. She could definitely handle this.

“You two can wait outside. The rituals need quiet,” she said, entering into her employers’ language with the ease of a woman with no social filters whatsoever.

A few minutes later, the three of them were reclined on Polygon’s couch drinking the best coffee either he or Bon Mot had ever tasted.

“This is amazing,” said Polygon. “How’s it for you?”

“Personal taste?” Egress said “I think you two could do with buying some full-fat milk and more sugar, but then I’m practically in love with calories.” She sipped her exceptionally sweet, creamy coffee without a contented sigh. “Are you two going to ask my name at any point by the way?”

“It was on your C.V,” said Polygon, arching an eyebrow. “Egress, right?”

“Yeah, and you two are Polygon and Bon Mot. I’m guessing you’re Polygon.”

“However did you guess?”

“You’re angular and pointy like a Playstation 1 graphic.”

“Fuck me,” Bon Mot interrupted- “she actually knows what the ‘Polygon’ thing is a reference to!”

“You play a lot of games?” asked Polygon, staring at Egress with renewed admiration.

Egress nodded, enthusiastically. “Sure. You’ve got the Xbox plugged in?”

“Yeah, we’re game reviewers- we’re doing a series on the best things available for download...”

“You ever beat the final boss on ‘Splosion Man’?

“No,” admitted Polygon, hanging his head in shame.

“Then fire this bitch up and I’ll show you amateurs how it’s done!”

An hour later, Egress set down the controller and gave Polygon and Bon Mot her most winning smile.

“It’s tricky I admit, but it can be done,” she said with a modest shrug.

“That. Was. Incredible.” Bon Mot quoth in a shocked, flat voice.

“You want to have a go at something more mainstream?” asked Polygon. “I want to see how you do at Mass Effect.”

“Sure. But I need to eat first.”

“I’ll order out for some pizza, you two load up the disc,” Bon Mot said decisively, having somewhat recovered himself from the shock of watching a beautiful woman beat the final boss on ‘Splosion Man’.

“I warn you, I’m a big eater,” Egress said, patting her stomach.

“You keep gaming- let us worry about keeping you well fuelled,” Polygon invited her.

***

Some time later, Egress staggered in through the front door of Entré’s apartment.

“How was work?” this lady asked, looking up from the computer where she had been working on finding work herself.

“I think I’m going to pop,” Egress said, in a tired yet satisfied voice. “I must have overdone it...”

“Oh Egress, I told you you weren’t really the working kind...” Entré began.

“Not the work:” Egress interjected, “the food! My employer’s are games reviewers. I spent most of the working day playing sci-fi RPGs and stuffing myself with pizza!”

Entré looked at Egress in amazement. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her full, let alone stuffed to bursting. It didn’t exactly surprise her that Egress had gotten out of doing any real work- she was Egress, after all- but she did wonder what quantities this woman’s gargantuan appetite would have to take on before deciding to throw in the towel.

Egress meanwhile was heaving herself over the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” asked Entré with genuine curiosity.

“Getting some icecream- it might help to digest all the pizza,” Egress explained.

“That’s not how it works, Egress,” Entré sighed. Egress chose, however, to ignore this statement and a few seconds later was collapsing onto the couch with a large bucket of icecream in one hand and a huge metal dessert spoon in the other. Entré shrugged. She wasn’t about to argue with Egress over this.

For her part, Egress was totally absorbed by the taste and texture of the food in her mouth, forgetting about the overstuffed sensation in her gut. The first mouthful of icecream, releasing that first burst of Vanilla had her immediately overcome, and as it melted on her tongue, she was already digging into the bucket with the ladel-like spoon she was armed with for more to devour. Egress was no stranger to enjoying her food, but the stunning cold, clear, creamy taste of icecream was something that always took her by surprise. Within ten minutes, she had emptied the entire bucket.

THE MADNESS WILL CONTINUE... LOOK OUT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER- SOON!