Chapter 4 - summertime sabbatical

As the summer began to march on, things continued to change. While my most extreme outbreaks of odd behavior had been limited to my office during the school year, I now found them growing stronger at home. My gluttony was now something that followed me throughout the day. No matter how much I stuffed myself with, there was always this constant need to eat more. While did still enjoy taking time to make meals, the wait time in between each was being offset by takeout, delivery, and a vast collection of snacks to tide me over. Meals that once left me bloated were barely enough to keep my stomach from rumbling. Not a minute went by where something wasn't going into my mouth.

I also got lazier. Many days went by where I only left the couch in front of the tv in order to get more food or use the bathroom. As a result, the state of my house and personal hygiene grew quite unkempt. I had always been meticulous about how things looked. It'd be easy to say I was a neat freak before. But now, none of that mattered. Who cared if pizza boxes and food containers piled up on the floor? Once they were empty, they quickly lost space in my mind. And they were always empty.

My brain felt like it was continuing to change too. I normally would've spent all this downtime enriching myself. Reading books, watching documentaries, working on puzzles and strategy games. Now the only thing I could manage to read without spacing out were cookbooks. My dvr was filled with trashy television programs I would've never dreamed of watching before. And instead of playing games, I was playing with myself.

My newly awakened sex drive had only gotten stronger as time went on. There were few moments in the day when my hands weren't in my metaphorical pants. I say metaphorical because I had pretty much given up on wearing clothes when I was inside. Every part of my body just felt so sensitive now. I actually started watching porn, something I had never done before. I particularly liked seeing fat girls (or as they're known on porn sites, BBWs) getting handled by strong, dominant men. I craved to be in their position. With Stuart. I had missed him so much. In all this time, he had yet to come visit me. It made me sad, but only made me want him more.

One day, with my lust for Stuart reaching a peak, I hauled myself to my bedroom to grab my newly-purchased vibrator. While doing so, I walked past the full-length mirror I used to get ready in front of every morning. It had been a long time since I'd actively looked at my reflection and the results were outstanding. I was huge. I looked like an entirely different person, and I suppose I had been. My skin was shiny, oily, and pale; a direct result of the lack of care I had been giving myself. My hair could be described the same way. I always kept my hair at barely shoulder-length, but now it cascaded down to my back, greasy and lifeless like Chinese food. My face hadn't chunked up too much, but my cheeks were definitely fuller with a double chin fighting its way into existence under the splattering of zits that emerged across them.

For the first time in my life, I had boobs, but they were not the type a pubescent girl would long for. It was clear that ample breasts just weren't in my genetics, as they sagged and flopped, small in comparison to the rest of me. I had a big enough chest and flabby arms at the sides, but my poor love balloons were under-inflated.

My belly, however, was round and protruding. While many fat girls' stomachs double into rolls, mine was a singular blubbery mass. Call it a potbelly or a beer belly; the name didn't matter. I just knew it was big, jiggly, and spherical. Accompanied with a set of love handles, it hung over my plumped up pubic area like a storm cloud. I held it in my hands the way a pregnant lady would (appropriate since that's basically how I looked now) and gave it a good shake. I watched as it wobbled like gelatin, nearly blocking the view of my toes, tips just barely poking past its expanse.

It was clear that most of my weight was going to be centered around my midsection, but that didn't mean the lower parts of my body went unscathed. My ass, once flat as a board, now looked like a pillow stuffed with tapioca pudding. It had a slight shape to it and probably could've benefited from a few squats, but for now it just sort of sagged. My thighs were no better. Having grown thick with adipose, they were slowly beginning the process of merging into one, as they started to touch down the middle. Cellulite and stretch marks encrusted both parts; a visible representation of how fast I piled on this new weight.

I was far from bloblike at that point and compared to how big I am now, I was downright scrawny. But having more than doubled my weight in a cloud of gluttonous indulgence had simply left me awestruck. As I looked, I could swear I heard a small voice in my head screaming at me to stop. Stop before this went any further. Lose weight, take a shower, get my life back on track. But before I could think too much about it, my mind wondered back to the thought of Stuart's hands on my chubby frame. And just like that, the voice was gone and I reached for my vibrator off the night stand