Chapter 2 - to gain, or not to gain. that is never the question!

As I said in my previous chapter, in December of 2016 I met my ex-boyfriend named Scott. I had just discovered feederism only 2-3 months prior to meeting him, and got involved in the community quickly. I even had the chance to meet two feeders in person and experience what it was like to live the part of the feedee. I didn't necessarily plan to get as obese as I currently am. But after you've lost a significant amount of weight two separate times in your life, tried to stay skinny and failed, the next time you get fat, you just kind of say fuck it. And right now, is that next time I'm referring to.

There became a point in my life around October of 2016 when I realized that I had truly become fat again. I just couldn't help myself from indulging in overeating. I was constantly smoking weed and getting the munchies, I went out and drank quite often, and quite large amounts when I did. I wasn't very active at the time, probably the least active I'd been in a while. I had officially given up on worrying about my figure, and for the first time I actually accepted the fat girl within me. I didn't enjoy going out as much as I had used to either, and really just wanted to stay home, get high, watch a bunch of movies and of course EAT.

Over the course of that year I had been making good money, so I often had extra for food. I ordered in even when I had plenty of perfectly fine food in my house. I even started to eat dinner separately from my parents as often as I could in order to purchase food, or in order to eat a large amount without being given a lecture. That way I could also drink soda or juice much more easily. My parents tend to force me to have water when we eat dinner. I know they just care about me, therefore they care about my health. But what they don't realize is I can't help what big of a pig I am!

Although the relationship I was in didn't consist of any sort of feederism, I still managed to gain a significant amount of weight over the two year duration of it. I will add in that I did start birth control about a year into the relationship, which is known to cause weight gain. But with the way I ate, and the amount, I don't think I can blame too much on that. ;)