Chapter 4 - 300 pounds...here we come!

I may have had a tough time dealing with the fact that my ex made me feel like he may not have truly loved that I was obese, but that didn't stop us from eating like pigs together.

Luckily even though my ex made me feel uncomfortable about my weight at times, I was still able to eat whatever and how much ever in front of him! I told myself, he knows this is who you are, he can either accept it, or move on. When he met me he knew that I had a severe lack of control when it came to food, and luckily for me, he also didn't have much control either. My ex definitely didn't eat as much as I did, but he did drink just as much soda as me. He also didn't mind eating unhealthy food that I loved. And the one thing that I can always say he never did, was make comments towards me that I was eating too much. So, for the most part I always felt like I could be a pig in his presence and not care. But like I said, unfortunately towards the end of the relationship, I wasn't exactly feeling that way.

We would constantly eat at places like McDonald's, Taco Bell, Chipotle, Wendy's, and Jack in the Box. We were always going to 7/11 and buying the biggest Big Gulps they had. He tried to always make sure that we had soda in our refrigerator too. It was no problem if I wanted to wake up the first thing in the morning and crack open a Dr. Pepper, because he would do the same as well. I do miss being able to do that now that I'm back to living in my parent's house, where there's no soda allowed. Don't know how I'm going to survive!!

It was no surprise that after a whole year and a half of eating like that, that I had gained a significant amount of weight. Just about 45 pounds or so! It's funny because I wasn't intentionally trying to get fatter, but I also didn't do anything to stop it. I didn't care if I became more fat, because deep down I really loved it.

Sometimes we would eat dinner early like 3 or 4 in the afternoon because that's when his grandmother would like to eat. I'd just have a whole 'nother dinner later on in the evening around 8 because usually I was still hungry. Whenever I cooked in the house I usually made something like mac 'n' cheese, grilled cheese, soup, frozen burritos. Easy stuff! But every now and then I did enjoy whipping up a nice lasagna or batch of mashed potatoes. Mhmmm!

If I were to give it a number, I would say 75% of our meals that we ate in a week consisted of some sort of "fast food". If we weren't at a chain place, you could catch us picking up food at the local Mexican stand that for some random reason had deeelicious burgers and onion rings as well lol. Or our one "healthy-ish" fast food go-to was this sandwich place called Jimmy John's. As yummy as Jimmy John's was, it's sandwiches were only 8 inches, so I always preferred Subway where I could get a foot long and a soup. But my ex liked Jimmy John's, so! One of the few things I'm looking forward to about being single now is not having to fight over where to eat or what kind of pizza or pasta to get! When it came to Italian food, my favorite type of food, my ex always liked either pepperoni pizza, spaghetti and meatballs or lasagna. Didn't ever want to try anything else. Total snooze fest!