chapter 2: new jobs/new weight

One aspect of moving a great distance away was the absence of the "embarrassment factor." As the pounds began to pile on, we were far from the critical eyes of family and friends. New acquaintances are generally too polite to point out what those close to us would have had no problem discussing. We had placed ourselves in an environment where there was simply no pressure and no reason to worry about gaining a few pounds.

In addition, we found ourselves in a part of the country where a person's weight just didn't seem to be as important an issue as it had been in our former home. We had come from the Northeast where there exists significant peer pressure to stay thin. Now we were in the South where life and people seemed to move at a much slower pace.

This is not to say that in our new area nobody was thin and the entire population was waddling around. Nothing like that. Sure, some people were thin and worked hard to stay that way. There were gyms and lots of people went to them. But without question there were a higher percentage of overweight people here than in the Northeast. It was noticeable. We had worked in offices where the entire female staff was dieting at the same time. Not so much here. One's colleagues were more likely to be swapping recipes than weight loss tips.

Living in the South also introduced us to new and previously unexplored food choices, most of them very fattening. With our enthusiastic appetites, we welcomed these new culinary challenges and met them with gusto.

Obviously, for a young couple who enjoyed eating as much as we did, sitting at a desk all day was bound to spell trouble.

Carol and I had never been "gym people." Oh, we had been active enough before we got married. Single people tend to do a lot more running around than married couples. But we had never been the jogging or exercise types. Getting out of work and heading to the gym simply was not in our DNA. We were renting a nice starter home with an option to buy. It was our first experience having our very own place, and we were in a hurry to get right back there after work. After all, it was dinner time! So instead of hitting the gym or taking a long walk, after sitting on our backsides all day we hung out in our new home cuddling, watching TV, and of course, eating.

So all the pieces that made up our perfect storm of weight gain had fallen into place: a sense of entitlement towards food and a new enthusiasm for eating, increased appetites, sedentary jobs, moving away from critical eyes, and a permanent aversion to dieting. Is it any wonder we immediately began to put on weight? In retrospect, it would have been a surprise if we hadn't.

The first time we noticed that a little weight was beginning to creep on was eight or nine months into our marriage. I was finding it more and more of a struggle to button my pants every morning and had seen Carol going through similar gyrations with her skirts and slacks.

"Honey," I sad one morning as we were getting ready for work, "You have to stop putting my jeans and Dockers in the drier. The damn thing is shrinking everything."

Looking up from her own battle to zip up a size ten skirt, Carol replied, "The drier isn't the problem, Tommy. You're putting on weight."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Definitely. I am too. Look at this," she said as she pinched the chunks of soft flesh at her sides that were clearly to blame for her problems with the skirt. Then she added, "and this," while reaching over to grab the small roll of flab that was making my pants just about unwearable.

"Well, how much do you think we've gained? It can't be too much, right? Let's find out. Where's the scale?"

"Forget that," Carol chuckled. "We no longer own a scale. I threw it out when we moved. That thing got a lifetime of use when we were on that stupid diet. I want to live in a scaleless house!"

"Well, can you tell?" I asked, staring with mild concern at the space between the two ends of my waistband.

"Of course not! It can't be more than a few pounds anyway. Besides, it's cute! Every married couple puts on a little weight in the beginning. It's only natural. We're getting love handles, Honey! I think it's nice. It's a sign that we're happily married."

"You're right, Sweetheart," I said, putting my arms around her and giving her fledgling handles a small squeeze. "Let's give those love handles a try!"

That weekend we hit the mall, and without an ounce of guilt or a second thought, effortlessly moved into larger, more comfortable sizes. Before coming home we decided, of course, to "splurge" in the food court.

Taking into consideration the entirety of our married life, there is no question that it was during the first two to two and a half year period that we put on the largest chunk of weight, as opposed to the following twenty plus years when we gained at the steady and consistent rate that was characteristic of our marriage as a whole.

It's not as though we blew up overnight or anything, But in the space of only two years or so we definitely put on a noticeable amount of weight. It wasn't a hundred pounds, but it was enough to change our appearances. Marriage was obviously agreeing with us, and we were no longer the thin couple who had paraded down the aisle only two years before.

Though at the time we were baffled as to why we had lost our trim shapes so quickly, in retrospect the reasons are obvious.

I think our bodies were simply adjusting to our new lifestyle. Virtually overnight we had gone from being active to being sedentary, from smokers to nonsmokers, and from a twelve hundred calorie a day diet to triple that amount. Our ill advised weight loss plan had no doubt slowed our metabolisms to such a degree that as soon as we began to bombard it with calories, bang! The weight flew on!

Our jobs certainly deserve a good deal of the blame. Everyone chipped in ten dollars a week which was enough to keep the break room well stocked with coffee, half and half, and a daily supply of Krispy Kreme donuts. Without even considering the consequences, it was easy to enjoy two, three, or even four donuts every single day. Why not splurge? Everyone else did.

Well, that's not strictly true. Some of the gals conscientiously avoided the break room and were able to maintain their slim figures. There were also a handful of guys whose flat stomachs indicated that they too were staying away from the donuts.

Generally speaking, however, the women looked like victims of a mass outbreak of secretaries' spread, and most of the men sported the proof of their indulgences with waistlines quite a bit larger than they had owned in high school. Carol and I were not immune. Her widening rear and my thickening love handles were proof that we had also jumped on the Krispy Kreme bandwagon.

(Stay tuned. There's lots more to our story.)