chapter 9

I heat up some frozen pizza for the boys and make myself a salad. We sit around a huge table, empty now but for the three of us. It feels so sad to be here without all of them

"Odd for me to be on THIS side of the Avengers", Loki jokes.

"I have you back, Brother, that's all that matters", Thor comments, crunching down on the pizza. Like many people, emotional swings make him overeat, from sadness to happiness. Loki stares, but I shake my head at him.

Thor notices the exchange and puts the pizza down. "Eat", I command. "No one is watching you."

"I am", Loki insists.

I roll my eyes. "Loki, leave him alone. This is just dinner, like you and I are having."

"Salad", Loki notes. "You're having salad. The two of us are having dinner."

"I've dealt with weight gain myself in the past."

"I didn't know that", Thor comments.

Then he just stares at the pizza.

"I know you're hungry, eat!", I yell.

"Go on, Thor, what difference does it make at this point?", Loki finally says.

He finally eats again, and I get them talking about when they were kids. The happier Thor is, the more he eats without thinking.

He looks down then and sees the entire thing gone and turns red.

"Wow, the god of Pizza Hut", Loki jokes.

I rub Thor's back and kiss his cheek, hoping to dull the sting, but he still turns red.

"You're a stick, Loki", I say, "Thor is not, nor was he ever."

"True, his shape is more round than stick-like." I stick my tongue out at him and ask,
"How long have you been waiting here?"

"Days. I woke up in space, but I could breathe because, well..."

"Because you're a god?", I ask.

"I suppose so. I imagined myself on earth and that seems to have been enough to propel me here. I didn't even know where your headquarters are. I just imagined "The Avengers", and here I am."

"You guys want to talk for a while?", I ask, cleaning up our pizza.

"Tomorrow", Loki says. "I can't keep my eyes open."

Thor takes the trash from me and throws it away.

He sets up a room for his brother, and makes sure Loki has everything he needs.

"Don't just....leave, Brother, please. Don't take off without telling me", Thor pleads.

"I won't", Loki promises. "Who would be around to tease you, butterball?" Thor goes bright red.

While Thor prepares a room for Loki, I take the biggest one that Tony used to live in, and put sheets on the bed and turn the ceiling fan on. I find toothbrushes, shampoo, everything we need.

"How's your brother?" I ask as he walks into the room and kicks off his boots.

"Good, he seems to be good. I...I can't tell you what it means to have him back", he gushes.

"I can guess from the look on your face. He's your brother. I'm so happy for you."

I'm sitting in front of a vanity, in my underwear, taking off makeup. I presume this all once belonged to Pepper.

"But...what's going on here?", he says, trying to sound suggestive. He leans down and kisses me.

"You still taste like pepperoni", I joke.

He sheds his enormous cardigan, then pulls his thick gray hoodie over his head, revealing a tight shirt.

"Still doing more layers than the dance of the seven veils?", I ask.

He blushes. "Sorry...I'm just...self conscious."

"And adding inches from all those clothes", I correct, but pull him into another kiss.

"But all this is covered", he says, patting his belly and making me instantly soaked.

"That's not the way to get me to go away", I say, and push him onto the bed.

"Who said I wanted that?", he croons, pulling me down on top of him. He cups my face and pulls me into a deep kiss. "I just don't understand why you won't marry me."

I sigh loudly. "It has nothing to do with you. And I didn't say I wouldn't. I just..."

"Before I lose my temper and start acting like a fool again", he says, sitting back against the pillows. "Tell me why." He lifts me up with a few fingers and puts me down on top of him so I'm straddling him, face to face. He's so unbelievably strong.

"Marriage has never made anyone I know particularly happy", I say. "And it ends in divorce 50% of the time."

"You don't think you'll want to stay married to me?", he asks, and immediately becomes distant. For him, this is about his weight. Everything is about his weight.

"I think you won't want to stay married to me", I say. "You're the frickin God of Thunder!"

"For one thing, love, this divorce thing isn't common for Asgardians and for the King and Queen...not a chance. Besides, I love you", he says fiercely. "And I can protect you from ANYTHING. Anyone."

I seize his lips. He's so amazing and brave and strong and....

"I know you could", I whisper, my voice disappearing in a cloud of lust.

"Anyone, anyone, anything", he whispers softly, wetting his plump lips with the tip of his tongue. "I'm earth's greatest protector. Let me be yours. Even if you don't...let me take care of you."

"But I do. I told you I do. I want to be with you. I love you."

"If you love me, you'll give me a chance, you'll give us a chance. Unless you think you can't accept the new me. I understand I'm not the old Thor in many ways." My poor baby. I stroke his cheek.

"You need some protecting too you know", I murmur. He pulls me into a deep kiss.

He breaks into a brilliant smile. I run my fingers through his blonde braids, then re-braid his beard. "You really do look like a Viking", I comment, planting a kiss on his chin afterward. "You're big, strong..." He blushes. "But your heart is just as fragile as anyone else's, superhero or not. I wish I could keep it safe. Keep you safe."

"I will make Asgard as it was. I swear it to you! And now that I have Loki's help, it will go twice as fast. And Valkyrie...she's tougher than any of us."

"I know", I giggle. "She loves you in her own way."

"And teases me in every way", he groans.

I tip up his face. "Yeah well, she teased the Crown Prince, she teased the superhero, she teased Thor. She's not allowed to tease the King. The All-Father..."

His mouth falls open.

"I'm not..."

"Someone must be. Who else?" He looks as though the thought has never crossed his mind.

"I can't be. Not yet, I have work to do..."

"You mean you want to leave me."

"I don't want to, but I'm still an Avenger. They need me. We have to rescue Carol", he says.

"I know, though I don't know how I'm going to let you go. But consider letting this be your last mission. Maybe it's time to stop being Thor. Be my King...."

"Be my Queen!", he insists. "Be my wife."

"Okay."

" What? What did you say?" A smile spreads across his face.

"I said yes."

The smile that reaches to his eyes is beautiful. "I can lose this, I promise, but...", he says again.

"I am happy to support any decision you make about your body and your health and..."

"BUT I kind of...like it", he confesses, "You may wind up married to a very fat man for a very long time..." He takes my hands in his. "The drinking I have more control of, but the eating..."

"It's okay", I promise, kissing him. "It's okay, baby, it's okay. I love your body. I like you round..." I kiss him. "And soft...." I kiss him again. "And you're no less strong. No less of a hero."

"I can't wait to see you drinking the mead, Mjolnir in your lap", he says.

"All Viking wedding traditions. Wow, they really did study you guys."

"It's kind of remarkable", he says.

"Your people are very remarkable", I say and his face drops. Shit.

"My people are dead", he comments. "But the few who are left deserve a better home."

"You gave them a better home than they had any hope of without you."

"Well they're going to have a better one", he says.

"You're my queen, do you understand? My queen. You're mine. Mine, mine, mine", he rolls me onto my back and mumbles against my inner thigh. "Say you're mine."

"I'm yours", I confess.

"I will build them a new home with these two hands." He holds up two big hands with fingers that get thicker by the day. "And I will build you a palace. Trust me."

"I trust you", I tell him.

"Trust me and love me, it's all I ask, but they're demands. If you can't meet them, you have to say so. I can't keep fighting you because you think I'm too upset to know what I'm doing. Even at my lowest, I knew what I was doing. Trust me. And if you love me..."

"If....really? Take all this off", I advise. He becomes shy, but removes his sweatpants, then I drop back down on him. He sinks deep inside me.

"Oh god", I moan, "So to speak."

He laughs. "Please...please...don't lie to me", he whispers. "If...."

"Be my husband", I interrupt. He kisses my palm.

His jiggles against me and I throw my head back. My feelings for him grow by the day, and so does he. I can't think about anything else but him being inside me. I can't get anything done, or think about a job. All I can think about is how crazy I am about him.

His shy, embarrassed smile, his pink round face, his mismatched eyes, the smell and taste and feel of him. All the things I know about him that no one else does, and how it all adds up to him being mine. But he's a big responsibility, pardon the pun. He's not just overweight, he's depressed, and he's only starting to get his drinking under control.

I lean back and grab his legs. "Your ankles are swollen", I add, leaning forward again and kissing him as he blushes.

"Less salt I think", I say.

"As you say", he comments, and I gaze into his eyes.

"Trust me", he says again, as he watches my mind spin like a hamster on a wheel.

I close my eyes and kiss him and see a million worlds and a million stars.

I don't want to lose him.