chapter 11- reckoning (p5.2)

Soon enough, Claire’s semester ended, and she began her summer session. She moved in with Paul with a certain glee and successfully acquired two internships along with a full summer course load. One of the internships she was able to get approved for course credits, and the other served as her only source of income. She was busier than ever before, but this time Paul was okay with the lonely nights. It gave him some time to work on his art in silence.

One thing he noticed as the summer went on, was that Claire was actually too busy to fully keep up with her gym schedule. When she wasn’t dealing with stress in the gym, she heavily relied on Paul to help alleviate her anxiety. What that looked like sometimes varied. Sometimes Paul would just talk through Claire’s problems with her. Other times, they’d go on a date and grab some food. Other times, sex was the answer. What really mattered was that every obstacle Claire ran into, Paul was there to help her overcome it.

As august rolled around, Claire had largely adapted to her schedule, which provided her the time necessary to work with Paul to make the final preparations on their September wedding plans. They were not going to do anything too fancy. The wedding would be held at her hometown in Arizona and, apart from inviting family and close friends, the wedding was planned to be small, or intimate, as Claire preferred to say.

It was around the time Claire’s summer classes had ended and less than a month remained before the big day, that Paul noticed something. Something that tickled the perverse corner of his mind he’d been trying to suppress since the day Emma left. Claire had developed a barely thick bulge around her tummy interrupting her usually slim silhouette. Despite attending the gym roughly twice a week, Claire had still put on some weight over her summer. It was 10 or 15 pounds at most, but it might as well have been 100 to Paul. He though she looked amazing. She had to be around 160 or 165 pounds, but she looked damn good. She had a little gut, she had a big butt and Paul could only hope the trend would continue.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one who noticed that Claire had put on a few pounds since the proposal. It was around the time that she started trying on wedding dresses that Claire realized she’d become a few sizes too big. She was not happy about it. She complained to Paul that she didn’t want to look pudgy in their wedding pictures, and Paul could understand her concerns. He tried to be supportive and tell her that she looked amazing at any size, but Claire didn’t want to hear it.

For a month, things got bad. Claire became obsessed with her appearance and furiously attempted a crash diet before they finally walked down the aisle. Paul was supportive of Claire’s concerns, he even helped her turn Emma’s old room into a little exercise space, but something was different about Claire’s diet this time. Unlike the old diet she’d stuck to slow and steadily over the past year, this new one was clearly unhealthy. It was hard for Paul to be supportive, when he was honestly growing concerned for her. Claire was hitting the treadmill for hours each day and was literally trying to starve the extra pounds off her figure. She was more irritable, more insecure, and frankly, quite a lot crankier.

As the wedding day neared, and they flew to Arizona, Paul was having second thoughts. He hated to see Claire so unhappy, and yet it seemed like there was nothing he could do. He told her she was beautiful, but it was like she didn’t believe him. Paul felt he needed someone, anyone to talk to about what was going on with Claire. She’d turned into a bridezilla. Uncertain of where to turn, Paul texted Emma, yet he never received an answer.

…

Unlike the buildup to the wedding, the ceremony itself was as perfect as it could have been. Paul’s fragmented family had actually turned out for the event, even his older brother. Claire’s family was, of course, in full attendance which included the one person Paul had been hoping to see, Emma.

He’d tried to steal a moment alone with her, he had so much that he wanted to talk to her about, but she never left the other bridesmaids’ sides. So, their conversation was restricted to surface-level polite little questions, and nothing more. It was a pain for Paul, made ever more difficult by the fact that Emma had clearly grown far more obese than she’d been the last time he’d seen her in person.

During the ceremony, Paul had been worried Emma would distract him from Claire, but the second Claire began her walk down the aisle his eyes never strayed far from her own. She’d sweated and starved herself down nearly 15 pounds in less than a month. Her waist looked thin, yet her eyes looked starving. Her attention appeared to be split between him and the wedding cake that was set up toward the back of the venue. Despite his second thoughts on the flight over, Paul didn’t have any when the time came to say, ‘I do.’

After they’d become man and wife, Paul was relieved that Claire indulged in more than her fair share of cake. Of course, Claire wasn’t the only one who’d made a pig of herself during the reception. Emma, and even Laura to a certain extent, joined Claire’s binge and stuffed themselves in a humorous solidarity.

As the amazing night began slowly coming to a close, Paul was sad he’d never gotten the chance to really talk with Emma during the day’s festivities. He tried to steal a moment away with her, during the reception, just to share a few words, but it didn’t seem like she wanted to have a conversation. What he got was an earnest hug with all Emma’s blubbery goodness, and three words she whispered in his ear telling him to, “Let it be.”

Understanding Emma’s sentiment, Paul didn’t dwell on her words too long. He was a husband now, and he knew he had to take care of his drunken wife. Besides, now that he was family, he knew he’d get a chance to talk things over with Emma eventually.

…