chapter 3- puppy love

*Hahaha..*

“Shut up Caroline.” Alana barked, as she brought the receiver back to her ear.

“Haha I’m sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt your intimate conversation with your candy! By the way, what diet lets you eat candy!? Sign me up!” Caroline joked.

“If anyone needs to diet, it’s you. So, don’t be giving me crap. I’ve had a rough day, okay?” Alana countered, as she grabbed a handful of M&M’s and lobbed them all into her mouth at once.

“Okay! I’m just teasing. Cut me some slack.” Caroline explained, as she listened to the sound of Alana chewing. After a moment of thought, Caroline decided to change the topic, “Isn’t it kinda nice being back with the rents?”

“Uhh, no. I mean I love them and all.. but this place is like a prison.” Alana responded with her mouth still clearly half full.

“Why?” Caroline wondered.

“Being back home after so long.. I don’t know. Maybe it’s my fault. I just don’t want people seeing me like this. Everybody probably remembers what I looked like before I got.. big. You know? It’s just.. embarrassing.” Alana cautiously blurted, as she rested her hand against her big belly.

“Alana. Everybody gets ‘big’ nowadays after college. You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed of. Is that why you won’t go to the gym in the morning?” Caroline replied inquisitively.

“I just don’t wanna be seen like this.” Alana repeated a bit defensively.

“Alana.. Are you okay?” Caroline asked with concern in her voice. Alana had been a mess these past few months since her big break-up, but this was something different. Something worse. She was pretty sure she knew what was bothering her.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be? I don’t have to pay any rent. Once I get a new job, I’ll finally be able to put a dent in my college debt. I’ll be back and better than ever in no time.” Alana responded without much conviction in her voice.

“*sigh* I know Scott’s getting married tomorrow.” Caroline revealed.

“…” Alana froze the moment Caroline said his name. How the heck had she found out? Alana couldn’t piece it together, “Who told you?!”

“I have my sources.” Caroline replied, as Alana, feeling frustrated, grabbed another M&M and flicked it into her mouth.

“Whatever. I dated him in high school for like a year. That was ten years ago. He means nothing to me. I’m happy for him.” Alana countered, as she dug her hand back into the M&M bowl.

“You don’t have to lie to me. He was your first... That’s special. Puppy love is probably the best kinda love there is.. except when it ends.” Caroline sensitively explained, as Alana stopped herself from shoving another handful of M&M’s into her mouth.

“*Sigh* It was puppy love. *Sniff* Gosh I miss puppy love..” Alana nearly sobbed as her emotions hit her hard. She was stuffing her face with chocolate to ease the pain of being unwanted and all alone. All she ever wanted was someone to treat her well and take good care of her. She’d found that and she fucking lost it.. No amount of regret induced, binge eating would ever bring him back.. “Fucking Noah..”

“Woah-woah-woah, we agreed that guy was an asshole and you deserve better!” Caroline blurted, as she tried to steer her friend into a better place. She didn’t want the conversation going down the ‘Noah’ rabbit hole again.

“But he took such good care of me. I know I’m a lot sometimes, I just wish I appreciated him more when I had him. Then maybe he wouldn’t have..” Alana began, as Caroline cut her off.

“Stop blaming yourself! It wasn’t your fault! It was that bulked up bitch!” Caroline roared, as she did her best to get Alana’s mind somewhere else.

“*Sniff* What if Noah was my last chance to be happy?” Alana sobbed, as Caroline could sense a full-on meltdown coming.

“You can’t think like that.” Caroline tried to sound calm, “You’ll find someone.”

“I don’t want someone. I want ‘the one.’ *sigh*” Alana breathed, as she looked around her empty house for a moment. She couldn’t spend another night on the couch watching TV and cheating on her diet. She couldn’t. She was never gonna find a man if she didn’t get herself under control! No more M&M’s! “I’m gonna get off my ass and get to the gym.. I need to clear my head.”

“Give me a call if you wanna talk. I’m here for you.” Caroline offered. She was relieved Alana snapped herself out of it. It could have been a long night.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” Alana smiled, as she hung up the phone and leaned back into the couch. It was so warm and comforting she didn’t want to budge.. but she needed to get up.