chapter 3

Matt was at Kelly’s by a little after five, and ordered an amber bock, an unusually heavy beer for him. John and Ken arrived at almost the same time, and the service being good there, ordered and received their beers in short order. After a little bit of chit chat, Matt got down to business.

“Ken, Debbie came by to see me today. She was upset and needed to tell me something.” Ken had wondered what had been going on with Debbie. She had been distant all weekend, and when Ken had asked her what was wrong, the answer had been the dreaded, “nothing.”

Matt told his buddies what had happened exactly as Debbie had described it. And he described the sex fueled weekend that had keep him away from any exercise more strenuous than humping his wife.

“So what are you going to do?” asked John.

“Yeah, and I really don’t want Debbie to get caught up in this,” added Ken.

Matt leaned back and smiled. “I’m going to let Brittney fatten me up.”

John and Ken both dropped their jaws. Matt was the workout king. The idea of Matt letting himself get fat was just out of the realm of possibility.

Matt let the silence hang for moment. Then he reassured them. “Don’t worry, guys. She won’t get her way. I know her. Here’s how this is going to play out. She’s going to play her little game. She’ll feed me, and bang my brains out instead of me going to the gym. I can handle that,” he said with a wicked grin. “But if I gain any weight at all, even just a few pounds, she’ll freak. She loves this hard body,” he said, patting his abs, “and as soon as I gain any weight at all, she’ll beg me, and I mean do mean beg me, to go back on my diet and back to the gym.”

John, with his little marriage pot, had his doubts. “What if you’re wrong, Matt? What if she’s determined to get you to gain 20 pounds? And then hold it over you that she made you do what she wanted to?”

Matt laughed, long and loud. “It’ll take a lot more that Brittney to ruin this body,” he said. “By the time I’m done, she’ll be begging me to hit the gym. Let’s have another round, guys!”

An hour later, the gang finished their beers and headed to their respective homes. When Matt walked into his house, he smelled something Italian. When he got to the kitchen, he saw Brittney at the counter making salads. She had heard him come in, turned around and hugged him. “Welcome home, sweetie. How was happy hour with the guys?”

“Just a couple of beers with Ken and John. A little relaxation after a long Monday.”

Brittney laughed, “I know, you need a little male bonding once in a while. But you can open that bottle of Chianti and pour us some, can’t you?”

Matt got out the corkscrew and went to work on the bottle of wine. “What’s that smells so good, babe?”

“I just felt like cooking Italian tonight. So I made some lasagna.” Matt smiled to himself. Here we go, he thought, she’s continuing the campaign to fatten me up. This is going to be fun.

“Better watch out, you feed me too well you could have a chubby hubby on your hands!”

“Oh, I’m not worried about that. You’re the workout king. Besides, filling out a little bit would look good on you.” Matt smiled to himself again. She was really laying it on.

Brittney pulled the lasagna out of the oven and set it on a trivet on the table. She picked up a basket that Matt hadn’t noticed and set it next to the lasagna. It was garlic bread, cut into thick slices. Brittney brought over the salads and set them by their plates. Matt brought over the wine and two glasses and set them down. “Voila!” Brittney exclaimed. “Dinner is served.”

They sat down and attacked the meal. First the salads, which, Matt noted, included bacon bits and croutons. Then the lasagna and bread, washed down with wine. Brittney gave them each the same sized portion of lasagna, which was smart, thought Matt. Shouldn’t be too obvious about her plan to fatten him up. But he also noticed that they were good sized portions. They worked their way through the heavy Italian dish, with more bread than Matt had eaten in a month. Of course he complemented her on how good it was. And it was good. Brittney had always been a good cook. He had just steered her away from heavy meals during their marriage. But damn, she made a first class lasagna.

They finished at about the same time. “Just a little more to top us off,” Brittney said. “After all, it was a tough Monday at work, right?” She gave them each another spoonful of lasagna. Not as much as the first serving, but still a good sized portion. They continued to eat, more slowly since they were both filling up. After eating less than half, Brittney leaned back and put up her hands. “I guess my eyes were bigger than my stomach. I can’t finish mine. Here, finish it off.” She pushed the rest of her lasagna onto Matt’s plate. She had probably only had two or three bites before she had pushed it over. Clever girl.

“I don’t know if I can finish all that, babe.” Matt said. “This is a lot of food.”

“Oh, c’mon. You don’t want my cooking to go to waste, do you?” Brittney replied. “Besides, the way you work out, you need the energy!” Matt had to admire his wife’s technique. She was effectively shaming him into over eating. He could hardly wait to put on a couple of pounds and see her backpedal. He finished off the rest of the lasagna, not without some difficulty. He leaned back and patted his full belly.

“Wow, you outdid yourself. I’m stuffed.”

“Don’t say that!” Brittney answered. “I have chocolate gelato!”