chapter 4

Raina was so confused. She knew she should be more upset about totally losing everything she had worked for her whole life, in just one accident, but that really wasn't the case. Raina truly enjoyed being able to cut loose for the first time in her life, eating savory and fatty meats, drinking alcohol, smoking weed, and even taking in the deliciously bad treat of a cigarette or two from time to time.

It was her parents and coaches that were all freaking out. Raina, while still outwardly saying how upset she was over the whole accident and not being able to compete in athletics anymore, deep down inside, she was truly enjoying the hedonistic lifestyle Vivian had introduced her to. And besides, track and field was what her parents dream for Raina anyway not hers. They had introduced to her as chubby child, as a way of getting her the exercise she most desperately needed.

Raina, who always was desperate for her family's approval actually hated running, but worked hard at it as she wanted to feel acceptance. With all the hard work, the girl put into it, is wasn't long before the chubby young Raina began losing weight and eventually winning competitions. Seeing how happy it made her folks, Raina then put her head down and ardously had literally worked her butt off for the past 12 years, and in the process had become an international track star.

However, Raina's victories always felt a bit empty as she wasn't truly living her life for herself, but for the expectations of others. Raina never truly gave these inwards reflections more than a second's notice, when she was running. She simply did not have the time. But now that she was just a normal student, with a normal schedule, Raina began to ponder these questions a little more deeply. Usually these sessions were fueled by Vivian's seemingly unending stash of cannabis, served up with cigarettes and alcohol.

The drunken and high, Raina, realized one day after smoking pot, eating an entire pizza by herself, and then smoking almost half a pack of cigarettes that she liked this new feeling. There was something magical about it.