Another cup of jasmine tea

chapter 13

The longer I was left on my own in that room, the more my mind cleared. I could not believe I had let myself get into this situation. I was young I should be out enjoying my life not stuck inside a body that I could barely move. .
After I had been in there about a week she opened the door and left me a single plate with a ham salad on it. My only meal in a week and it had to be a tiny portion of salad!
She left it on the floor and then closed the door again. I struggled to bend down to pick it up because my enormous belly was in the way. Even so a salad was not the meal I expected after not eating for so long. I thought a nice big plate of fish and chips would have been more appropriate.
Nevertheless, I had to be grateful for small mercies. I nibbled at the salad, trying to make it last longer. It did nothing to mask my hunger.
However, it got me thinking of what I would do when I finally gained my freedom. I would go on a diet. I might try a bit of exercise to slim down. I wasn’t sure which exercise I would try. In Wales, if you wanted a bit of fresh air, you could take a walk up the mountain. Here, there were no mountains to climb.
In those days, taking exercise to get fit was not a common thing to do. No one jogged around the streets or the park, unless they were a competitive runner. The only gyms available were boxing gyms or ones for body builders. The majority of people were slim because they did not have a car, so they walked everywhere. They did not overeat. When I got out of here, I was going to eat sensibly and get myself into a swimming pool to help myself slim down. By the time I’d got myself down to a weight where I could comfortably move around I would go traveling. I would start off in this country. I didn’t have a lot of money, but I had learned a lot of survival skills. I could hitchhike from one town to another, or use the regular bus services which were cheap, but could be slow. I didn’t need to take much with me. I could get by with the clothes I stood in, if necessary. I would do odd jobs wherever I could. I knew how to wait on tables, maybe I could do bar work. The money I earned, I would save so that I could buy festival tickets for the summer. There I could meet some of the friends I had made in Wales and listen to good music in the sun. I could sleep on the beach or on a park bench if I had to. I would enjoy the freedom of doing what I wanted to do. As the weather closed in, I could, perhaps go abroad to warmer climates, or make use of the youth hosteling network.
I would aim to see all the historical sites in my own country. Maybe I could try to help out on archeological digs for a bit of cash. That might prove to be interesting.
Or I could go home to Dorset with my tail between my legs to my parents and apologise for my dreadful behaviour.

The weeks went on and I remained locked up in my room. I got at least one meal a day now, but it was always a healthy salad or a bowl of bran type cereal. She might as well have given me cardboard to eat!
I had no idea how long I had been in there when, one morning, she opened the door and left me a cup of jasmine tea.
I had missed my jasmine tea. I liked the taste of it and i found it very relaxing.
This brew tasted slightly different. It might have been the different water from the inner city to the suburbs. I don’t know.

I didn’t realise I’d been asleep. I must have nodded off soon after my jasmine tea.
I could not remember Carol coming into my room after I had drank it. I could not remember her standing me on the scales and measuring me, writing all the details in her little book. I could not remember getting changed into the outfit she provided and posing for photographs for her. I did not know that I had not been allowed to answer back. I was not allowed to ask any questions. I was not allowed to go out. I did t know that as soon as Carol was finished with her measuring and her photos, she left me alone once more and turned the key. As far as I was concerned, I’d drank my tea and fallen asleep, waking up nearly an hour later.

She left me some tea infrequently. It wasn’t as often as weekly, but it might have been monthly.
I simply did not realise what happened immediately after drinking it. It didn’t bother me either.

Summer turned into autumn, then autumn turned into spring. My weight plummeted on my near starvation diet. I had no idea of the numbers, but all the clothes I had were much too big. I struggled to keep my trousers up without holding them up with my hand. My tee shirts hung down and could have passed as minidresses. My flesh was much softer than it had been. Some of my skin was a bit loose over my smaller body and I took up a lot less space in the bed.

I think Carol is leaving me a cup of jasmine tea more frequently now. I can’t tell you how often because I lose track of the days. I think she might be becoming as forgetful as me, because she forgot to lock my door this morning. Not only that, she left it completely ajar! I closed it for her. It didn’t cross my mind to leave. I didn’t want to. I was quite content where I was. Being on a starvation diet didn’t bother me any more. I had nothing to do but watch the telly, but I was not bored. I was quite content to stay where I was.