chapter 7: worry

Amber felt hopeless. She woke up the next morning having had nightmares throughout the night. She couldn’t remember what of, but she was sure she was being plagued by what happened the night before. She was so embarrassed, she used her first ever sick day to have the day off. Sarah was understanding and didn’t question why either, which was at least some kind of relief for her.

She saw Stan’s text, but ignored it. She didn’t know what to say, and the thought of hearing Stan mention it in a voice call would be devastating. Instead, she used her morning looking up every possible thing she could about losing weight. It felt hopeless, but she at least had to try. She had started to lose weight before; she only failed because she didn’t stick to it.

She watched youtube video after youtube video. Saw past every quick scheme and shortcut and knew that all she had to do was eat right and work out. Easier said than done; she knew it’d take months, maybe even a year, of persistent food management and exercise to undo what she had done. The thought was disheartening, but she had done this to herself. She had no one to blame but herself.

“P’TING!” her phone buzzed.

She looked at her phone; it was a message from Stan.

“Hey, Sarah said you called off? You okay?”

She wasn’t ok. She started to tear up again, but fought them off. She still left the messages unopened, and continued to browse the web for more advice. She read stories of success, failure, hope, depression, and tried to find something she could relate to. Nothing resonated with her; she had never been in this position before.

She found one forum of people asking how to lose weight, but most of the threads never showed if anyone had succeeded. The more she looked online, the more disheartened she felt.

“P’TING!”

“If it’s about yesterday, I’m sorry. It’s kind of my fault.” Stan continued to message her.

She stared at the phone. It kind of was his fault. He was the one who suggested eating at work in the first place. Her sadness started to turn into anger. No, she thought to herself, she could have said no, and he was making the food for himself. She just tagged along as his food heist accomplice. She decided to finally open his messages and respond.

“Yea… And no, it’s my fault. I’m embarrassed and I need a me day.”

“I understand. You still want to play sometime? I’m off today too.” He messaged.

Amber sat back and thought for a few seconds.

“I’ll add you; not sure about if I’ll play or not. I need to exercise.”

Amber went over to her computer, which she had left on overnight. She had to reinstall Discord on to her computer and remember her login information, but eventually was able to sign back on. She typed in Stan’s info, and within a few seconds, he messaged her on it.

“Hey! :D”

Before Amber had an opportunity to respond, Discord began to ring. Stan wanted to voice chat. She panicked. She scrambled to find her headset and to make sure it was properly connected before answering the call.

“HEY!” She shouted accidentally. There was a bit of silence. “Hello?” A sudden wave of fear hit her. What if he’d make fun of her? What if he-

“Amber? I can’t hear you if you’re talking”

A wave of relief washed over her. Her microphone settings weren’t right. She spent a couple minutes fiddling with the settings until she was able to communicate with Stan.

His voice was warm and comforting; not like she imagined he’d sound after last night. They talked for a while; never mentioning what had happened. Amber was beginning to forget her worries and was melting to the sound of Stan’s voice. Something about him just made Amber feel a level of comfort she’d never felt before.

Instead of exercising like she had planned, Amber spent all day playing a game called Valheim with Stan. He showed off his in game world, and she showed him hers. They created a new world together, and got so far as defeating a few bosses and started creating a base. Stan gathered building resources while Amber hunted and gathered other food ingredients. When they met back at base, Stan started to build while Amber begun to cook.

“Smells good over there!” Stan said

“I WISH I could smell what I was making!”

“That’d be great, right?! They added rumble packs to controllers years ago. Where’s my sniff attachment?!”

I know! I demand it!” Amber giggled.

“Wouldn’t smell as good as work does though.” Stan said.

“Yea, the food is too good there.” Amber's voice changed tone.

“Just means we’re too good at our jobs!” Stan jokingly bragged.

“Yea, but really. It is too good. I’m fat now because of it.” Her voice continued to fall.

“You’re not fat. You’re…” Stan stopped for only a second.

“Fat?” Amber finished.

“NO! You just put on a little weight.”

“A little?! I popped two buttons at work!”

“Two?”

Amber forgot he never saw her button pop the first time. She paused for a little bit.

“Yea... “ she said. “I’m on my third uniform now.”

“Oh.” He said. “Well, I think you’re” He stopped.

“I’m?”

“I…” Stan breathed out and in audibly over the microphone. “I think you’re kind of cute.”

Amber’s mind did a backflip.

“What?”

“I know this is kind of lame, but I was hoping to be able to play games with you for awhile. I don’t think I’d have been able to work up the courage to ask you out in person…” He paused. “I just wanted to play games with you and maybe work up the courage to ask in person, but…”

“Yes! Date!” Amber shouted so loud it crackled the mic. “I was hoping you’d ask a while ago!”

Amber felt weightless. All of her worries seemed to melt away. She thought that her added weight would scare him off; make him avoid her even, but he asked her out! She was ecstatic.

“I had no idea” He laughed awkwardly. “I’m terrible at reading girls.”

“I think I started liking you the moment you got me that first milkshake!” She joked, but then realized what she had said. “Oh God; it’s no wonder I’ve gotten so fat.”

“You’re not fat, and I think you’re hot!” He said reassuringly. “I can say that now, I hope? That you’re hot?”

“Say it again” she said with a clear smile on her face.

“You’re hot.”

She was filled with glee. She knew she was hot nearly 50lbs ago, but to hear him say that made her feel at ease. As soon as that ease came, a sudden wash of hunger struck her. She hadn’t eaten all day, and it was pretty late.

“Well, I’m still fat.”

“But still hot.”

“Well, I’m actually starving; I haven’t eaten all day, and it’s... “ She looked at the time on her computer. “Almost 11PM?!” Time had left her behind.

“All day? Don’t starve yourself!” Stan reacted.

“I obviously haven’t been.” She retorted. “I should let you go though; it’s really late and I think I’m going to order some food.”

“Ok, well, we both work tomorrow! You’re coming in, right?” Stan asked.

“Of course!” Amber smiled.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Good night!”

“Good night!”

With that, they ended the call. Amber jumped out of her computer chair; her stomach and breasts slightly bouncing to such a quick gesture. She started to dance around her room in excitement. She’d get to see her new boyfriend at work tomorrow! Her excitement was cut short at the sound of her stomach growling at her.

She went on grubhub and decided to order a lot of food. She hadn’t eaten all day, after all. She was hungry, so she was going to eat. Besides, she could go back to dieting later. She looked up a ton of videos and advice earlier; that was enough work as is. She’d start dieting and working out tomorrow.

But tomorrow didn’t change. And neither did the next day.

Or the next.