chapter 8

Allison was sitting on the couch, nibbling on a bag of greasy potato chips and sipping wine. Perhaps "nibbling" is not the right word. She was on her third bag of potato chips and her second bottle of wine. She was trying not to think about Carly and Jeremy, drowning her thoughts out with booze, snacks, and reality TV, but she couldn't stop checking her phone.

When was one of them going to text her?

Finally, at 11 p.m., she heard from Carly.

"Ur fiance is a hottie. A bit awkward at first, but then funny."

"OMG, did it happen??"

"Did what happen?"

"Did you and Jeremy hook up????"

"It's complicated...."

Allison could see Carly was typing another message, but then the text bubble disappeared. She couldn't take the wait. She called Carly.

"Hello?"

"Carl y, tell me everything!"

"Well, you picked a great guy. Nice, handsome, asked a lot of questions, but we didn't hook up. And trust me, I wanted to. Is that weird to say? That I wanted to bone your fiancé?"

"Ha, I'm the one who asked you to screw him. Did he seem into you? Did he seem into ... fat girls?"

"Yeah and no. I was so sure he was gonna come back to my place, then he just kinda left. But here's the thing — he had a rock-hard erection when we hugged goodbye."

"Oh man. What does this mean?"

"I'm positive he was into me. And he seemed to like fat chat, when we talked about my weight. But maybe this is all just some fantasy for him. Maybe it's just too much for him. I've been with a lot of men, and some are just too afraid to be honest with themselves about liking fat women."

"Fuck, I am so screwed."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I've already gained more than 20 pounds!"

"Girl, what? It's been like three weeks since he left, right? What's that crunching noise? Are you eating potato chips right now?"

"Oh shut up," Allison said, in between loud sounds of chewing. "Ugh, I just can't stop eating. I thought I'd put on a little weight for Jeremy..."

"But now that the switch is turned on, you can't turn it off. Trust me, I know the feeling. Honestly, I always thought you'd look good fat. Some women carry it better than others, and you've got the bone structure for it. I bet a lot of the weight is going to your ass, isn't it?"

Allison looked down at her widening butt in her newly snug sweatpants.

"It is getting big," Allison said, chuckling. "But no more. I've got to stop gaining weight. I might even need to lose some weight. At least until you can prove Jeremy likes fat women. Please tell me you at least got his number?"

"Oh, I made sure to do that."

"Great. Carly, there is no way this isn't going to sound weird, but I really need you and your fat ass to fuck my fiancé. I really don't know if I can go back to eating Kale smoothies."

"On behalf of me and every other fat woman in this great nation, I will do whatever it takes to make sure a Kale smoothie never touches your lips."

"You're the best, Carly. Talk soon?"

"Definitely."

Allison hung up the phone. Tomorrow she would begin dieting. But right now she had a half-gallon of ice cream in the freezer that was calling her name.