chapter 10.1

Never before had Eddie even attempted to lift such a weight. His heart hammered, his lungs were squeezed and strained, his thighs flamed with throbbing desperation as lactic acid ate them up from the inside. And yet, his leg never left the ground. It simply rose a few inches, all its fat collapsing down to tickle the floor before suddenly spreading out in a savage surf of flesh as the effort of keeping it suspended became too much. He’d gained five hundred pounds of mass in a matter of seconds, and his muscles weren’t yet ready. So, as useless as ever, he sat still, an enormous expanse of unbelievable bulk. And yet, so hollow.

It made sense. The moment had come, and now it'd gone. He'd embraced the ecstasy but not the aftermath. He hadn't anticipated an aftermath, but here he was, overloaded with lard, living it. Every rasping breath reminded him the blubber hadn't crushed his lungs. Every heavy heartbeat brought home the disappointment that was his cholesterol count. The ache at the base of his spine was only inadequate. His bloated thighs might have felt freezing as they pooled across the concrete floor but they weren't nearly cold enough. Eddie was alive, his gigantic gut straining against the tape, his lardy legs too heavy to take that last step. Not that it mattered. His old life was over anyway.

His old life?

No, that was stupid. How could he ever succeed in this softened state? No firm would hire a freak as hefty as him. Besides, this blobby body was no more mushy than his brain had ever been. His heart, as weak as ever. As much as he’d preferred a more immediate end, he supposed a passive, protracted death was all a pathetic wretch like him deserved. He would simply sit here, growing slimy with sweat, as maggots and remorse ate him alive.

But he'd been Big Tech, hadn't he? He'd brought hope to so many, in spite of his evil facade. Perhaps, if he'd have been less self-centered, it all might’ve meant something. Perhaps he could’ve been an ally to Bombshell, instead of enemy -- if he could even be called that.

But why would Bombshell even need him? She'd never needed anyone before. She was everything he had never been: selfless, unstoppable, conquering every obstacle with ease. Prodigal, but perfect. Actually extraordinary. And still Oriana from the office. Somehow.

But Big Tech had been extraordinary, hadn't he? Even if Eddie hadn't.

The maelstrom of thoughts and hypocrisies swirling inside his stomach threatened to burst his bloated body like a balloon. They raged around, battering each other to bits, until he couldn't fight it anymore. He needed answers. He needed peace.

But first, he needed his helmet.

Since Bombshell had lifted it off and tossed it away, Big Tech’s helmet now sat at his side. It couldn’t be more than a foot from him, but with an ocean of fat between Eddie’s arms it might as well have been in Australia.

But he needed an answer.

Huffing, puffing, Eddie strained to his side. His face flushed red as massive moobs rose up like mountains to block all view of his prize. A billion bloated rolls bunched together to barricade his movement. Billowing bingo wings leveraged their weight to pin down his arms. But he had to reach it. He needed to.

Finally, fubsy fingers found metal. With a little more awkward fiddling he was able to maneuver the helmet into his grasp and at last bring it back to his body. Placing it atop his head as quickly as he could, Eddie released a wheezing sigh of relief as the familiar face of Marion appeared on his HUD.

"Eddie? Has it happened?" Marion took note of his fuller face. "I'm confused."

"I don't have time,” Eddie gasped.

"But why are you crying?”

“I’m sweating.”

“Not all that’s sweat. What’s the problem? She's given you everything you wanted.”

"Everything but. I need you to send me the new suit.” It’d been ready for a while now, shortly after Leo first offered it, but Eddie had always been reluctant to take this heavily-armed product of the Mybrid R&D division since his motives lay far more in feedism than militarism. Still, it’d serve him well right now.

Eddie heard Marion's keyboard clatter from afar.

"Done. But what on earth do you need it for?"

"I'm not sure yet."

“Well, best figure it out, because ETA…” Smiling smugly, she paused dramatically. “Now!”

A sonic boom tore through the sky as a shell smashed into the concrete floor. Hissing, it opened a small circular hatch, and from it, a floating white orb emerged. Bobbing up and down in the air, it lazily drifted towards Eddie, before bursting open and spreading sheets of Fl.A.B. across his ample frame. This Flexible Alloy Bodysuit was composed of a state-of-the-art titanium alloy weaved together at a molecular level to form a micromesh, and could stretch to almost any size like supercharged spandex without ever sacrificing its strength. Armored in it, Eddie's belly would bounce bullets away with no consequences beyond barely-noticeable wobbles. Blades would sink into his squishiness as his finger would into his navel, without the slightest slice or scar. Tank shells could only hope to make his titanic tummy tremble and quiver, so insignificant would be their impact. Guided by an interwoven artificial intelligence, this self-aware substance spread over Eddie like a wave, forming blaster-loaded gauntlets, jet-equipped boots and titanic twin thrusters on his back for the extra lift his hefty body would require. Its power source: a glowing circular reactor that lay over Eddie’s belly button.

With the enhanced strength the armor offered him, Eddie could at last stand. Still adjusting to his new size, he staggered over to the shell and opened another, larger hatch on its side. Within lay his new helmet. Still cyclopic, with a single elongated strip serving as a visor, this new helmet was decidedly more human, its Fl.A.B structure able to conform to Eddie’s facial expressions for a friendlier look. After wiping his face, Eddie donned the helmet, and saw his old familiar HUD appear; thankfully Mybrid hadn’t meddled with it.

Now, with his mobility restored and more power than ever before, Eddie could theoretically go anywhere, do anything. He could flee, go into hiding somewhere, abandon his evil identity and start a new life afresh. He could embrace his alter-ego, be the voice of Blackwater’s broken, a roly-poly Robin Hood. But he knew neither route was really an option. Not until he’d found peace.

And so, the all-new all-doughy Big Tech rocketed into the air, in search of his superhero crush.

***

He advanced on her as she staggered to her feet. She barely had time to take a breath before his tentacle wrapped around her once more and slammed her to the bricks again. "What do you want from me?!"

"It's not a question of 'want', Bombshell. I simply need you out of the way." He held up one claw, threatening to slash her to shreds. "But of course, I wouldn't think to send you to the ferry man without knowing the name of the man who put you down. So, in your final moments, Bombshell: goodbye, and goodnight. Much love: Chimera."

Time seemed to slow down for Bombshell as she breathed what she was sure would be her last breath. And yet, just as she was about to black out, she heard a disembodied voice cry out from a distance.

“Hey, you with the mullet!”

“Wha--!” Chimera's electric eyes darted around, scanning for the sound's source.

“Your checks don't bounce.”

A squishy sphere of Fl.A.B. swooped in from the sky and smacked Leo straight in the jaw. As he stumbled off of Oriana, Eddie landed on the ground with a thud, all his lard quaking from the impact.

“But you do, I see.” Leo wiped the crimson grease now bleeding from his jaw. “Finally lived out your fantasy, I see?”

Eddie blushed beneath his mask.

“How do you--”

"We own Pornnexus, remember? All that data was pretty clear."

"Woah," Ori interrupted, one hand braced against the wall as she caught her breath and regained her footing. "Is that an invasion of privacy or what?

"I don't think you can comment,” Leo smirked, “little miss 'I've watched Feedee Whale Fucks Fit Female Feeder 300 times!"

"Dude,” Ori shrugged, “everybody knows what I'm into. Now it's time to put your ass on blast.” She turned to Eddie. “You're not gonna help this cunt kill me?"

"Fuck no, why would I kill you?"

"Well, then. Ready...partner?"

Partner? Had she just called him that? Did Bombshell actually consider him her equal? Except she wasn't Bombshell, was she? She was Oriana, from work. That pretty girl who gave him a lift once. She owned a tiny car. She worked a desk job. She cooked jambalaya.

And yet...

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

With an outstretched palm, Eddie fired a bright blue blast of pure power at the cyborg startup chief. The brute simply blocked the shot with a steely padded shoulder, but that motion gave Eddie all the opening he needed. Flying forth at incredible speed, propelled by the powerful thrusters on his boots and back, Big Tech flung Chimera into the air with an energized uppercut, before flying into the sky after his enemy to launch an offensive flurry of punches. Chimera, however, was now ready, stabilized in the air by smaller thrusters in his chromium-cloven feet, and was able to swipe Eddie away with his needle-like talons, sending sparks spiraling to the floor.

"Since when were you a cyborg, Leo?" Eddie screamed, deflecting another sharp swipe with his amply-armored belly.

"Since Havard," Leo replied, kicking himself away from Eddie with his legs. "All the idiots who rowed crew ain't got nothing on this bod."

"But isn't that a bit extreme?"

"I thought we talked about this, huh?" Twin tube-like tails waved laser cutters towards Eddie in a frenzy. "Innovation is always extreme, the world's never ready for the future!"

"I see you're into Ayn Rand's ideas and not just her haircut."

"These are cables!" Chimera cried, cutters still flailing wildly. "My brain is wired into the Internet all of the time. My IQ is infinite!"

"Dude that’s literally impossible, they only grade in natural numbers -- UGH!"

Powerful yellow beams shot forth from Leo’s eyes, hitting Eddie directly in the chest. All the padding he’d added that afternoon offered him as little protection from the sheer force of the blast as the Fl.A.B. plating it. Eddie was caught off balance and, kicking his feet-thrusters behind him for a burst of speed, Leo darted towards him, grabbing his throat with his talons and forcing him to the ground.

"If you were going to turn coat on me, you should have just stayed down! I laid everything out for you, perfectly, like clockwork! I gave you exactly what you wanted, but of course, you had to act the part of the insufferable ingrate!"

It clicked for Eddie then. "You--you hacked me," he choked out. "You sent that letter to my friends!"

And he'd bet Leo had been the one to send Bombshell flowers, too.

He'd driven Eddie right into her arms.

"And I'll bet you think you're so smart!"

"But why?"

"You stupid, stupid boy! Of course you have yet to figure it out!" Chimera pressed even harder now. "When are you going to realize that a man is a man is a man? He might not bleed, but does he not still want? Tell you the truth...I might have a thing in common with your Bombshell. It'll be a shame having to kill her, once I'm done with you. She's so much fun! But an obstacle is an obstacle is an obstacle, and me? I won't be contained."

Eddie’s voice grew raspy as he tried to choke out his reply.

“Con… contaminated, however…?”

“What?”

Suddenly, to Leo’s own surprise his steel limbs stiffened, and the pressure on Eddie’s neck was lifted. Lying in a pool of plated pudge, Eddie began to laugh.

“Dude, I think you’ve got a virus.”