America's fattest model

chapter 4

The three judges were back in place, although looking a tiny bit disheveled. Maddy knew they’d probably filmed a private scene as guided by the producer, but she wouldn’t be able to see it until the season was over. She added it to her mental list of drama points to find out about. Interestingly, Hilda was still gone, like she’d never been there at all.

“Welcome back to the stage, everyone. Let’s move on to critiques, shall we?” Mama Lu turned her attention to Nell and started giving critiques. Maddy zoned out for it. It wasn’t that she didn’t think it was important, but so she wouldn’t spiral into comparing herself to the competition. She was on the show to do her personal best, not anyone else’s. Mama Lu ran down the line, going next to Jacob and Finn.

“Maddy, I want to finish with you.” Mama Lu looked at Maddy, who sat up taller and tried to make her belly look bigger for the cameras without looking like that was what she was doing.

“Hi, Mama Lu.”

“What do you think of your performance?” Mama Lu asked. Maddy cringed.

“Conflicted. I don’t think what I created could be used for advertising, but I’m weirdly proud of that, too? Diet pills are part of my family history and they’re not something I’d ever willingly endorse. They’re a relic of a misery culture we’ve moved away from.”

“I like the way you worded that: a relic of a misery culture. And when you say family history, I assume you mean with your grandmother, Gisella?”

Maddy nodded, although she wasn’t particularly thrilled with having her family legacy brought up once again. She came from a generational line of Hollywood icons. Her grandmother, known simply as Gisella, had held her own as a slim and toned supermodel turned A-list movie star back in the day, and was still getting consistent roles and guest appearances on various projects. Maddy’s mother was a world-renowned international pop star who had a legendary career until a heart attack - both drug and weight related - moved her on to the next life.

“Both my grandma and my mom. A lot of people don’t know this, but my mom used to yo-yo weights like crazy. She was caught in that awful time when sugar smoke was just coming onto the market and before the diet crazes had fully faded from memory. She had an addictive personality, and she was torn between these two extremes, so she would binge and binge on sugar smoke, then immediately go on a 500 calorie crash diet and pop diet pills like LifeLess to try and slim down. As a child it was traumatizing, and I swore to never take diet pills or make myself that unhappy.” Maddy paused, then shook her head. “The autopsy we got said my mom died from her weight, but she’d been back on those pills, which were loaded with caffeine and other stimulants. There’s no question to me that it wasn’t her belly, but what she was taking to ‘fix’ her belly.”

Silence filled the stage after Maddy’s admission. Nerves filled her own belly. She’d never talked about this outside of therapy or with her grandmother, and especially not on something that would air it on TV. It felt like time, though. If she was going to prove she was America’s Fattest Model, that meant showing her own weight-related scars. The body positive world they lived in was built on the back of so much pain.

“Maddy, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what it was like losing your mother as a little girl, and how much holding this truth inside has pained you for all these years,” Jasmine said, finally breaking the impromptu moment of silence.

“I still remember the headlines making your mother out to be the poster child for obesity stereotypes. Every time I was in the grocery there was another tabloid about how sugar smoke was a deadly substance that caused her death,” Harriet frowned.

“Yeah. Diet culture was still hanging on, and they thought my mom made a great example to prove their point. However, it was the other way around. They killed her, and they had the nerve to weaponize her death.” Maddy was crying by now, her emotions a mixture of fury and old grief. She wiped her eyes as carefully as possible to avoid messing up her makeup. A model never looked disheveled, unless it was on purpose.

“Let it out. It’s OK,” Mama Lu said. Maddy shook her head.

“I never had a chance to make her proud of me, before she was gone. I was just a kid when she died, and she was away on tour more often than she was home. That’s what drove me to apply for this competition. It felt like paying homage to her broken legacy, and a way to say that her struggles were laid to rest and a more body positive world had taken over, a world where her only daughter had a chance to be called America’s Fattest Model and it wouldn’t be seen as a bad thing. That’s why I’m here, Mama Lu. That’s what this is all about to me.”

“I completely understand.” Lulu dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. The stage lights changed hue, the scene returning to its usual flow. Lulu sat up taller, looking at all the remaining competitors. “Now, it’s time to make our decision for who won our first week back at America’s Fattest Model.”

Maddy relaxed, knowing she was safe but accepting she wouldn’t be the top. Normally she aimed to be the best of the competition, but she would accept “safe” given the trying day she’d had.

“Jacob, your comedic relief made your advertisement the shining star of the episode, but you didn’t give us much to go on backstage. Nell, you supported our secret sponsor without asking questions, but your advertisement falsely claimed your product caused weight gain. Maddy, your sarcastic twist fell short, but you diffused an argument with your competitors when you thought no one was watching.” There was a dramatic pause before Lulu said, “Maddy, you’re our top pick of the week!”

Maddy couldn’t believe it. Her jaw dropped. Butterflies filled her chest.

“Me?” she asked in surprise, sure Jacob or Finn would have gotten the win since they’d done much better at advertising. Mama Lu just nodded.

“Oh, and one more thing: next week, we’ll have a guest judge. Gisella Henderson!”

Maddy’s heart stuttered in her chest looking up at the screen at her own grandmother. This was exactly what she didn’t need.
--
America's Fattest Model is available to purchase now! Get your copy here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1JKV459