Chapter 6C - Cassidy

Cassidy walked away from the party utterly defeated, just having been ignored by her two best friends. They weren't responding to her texts or calls either. Quite frankly, Cassidy was now used to being ignored by them, but this instance hurt more than the rest. Ever since all the girls went home for the summer, Nicole and Jess hadn't been responding to any attempt Cassidy made to reach out. Even now that they were back on campus, Cassidy had been trying to find a time where Nicole and Jess were free, failing spectacularly. This night, in particular, Cassidy had seen an Instagram post of Nicole getting ready for the party tonight, saying she was going to Phi Delta Theta house. This had been Cassidy's chance to re-connect, and now that that had failed, she didn't know what to do.

At the end of Freshman year, Cassidy had asked both Nicole and Jess if they wanted to room together. Both had flatly rejected Cassidy's request since both girls didn't want to 'make their friends their roommates'. Something about spoiling the friendship. Her entire friendship with Nicole and Jess was based on her being Jess' roommate. If she wasn't that, then what was she to them? The night's events had cemented that her friendship with Nicole and Jess was falling apart, making Cassidy nervous. When Cassidy got nervous, she turned to food.

One block off campus, there was a McDonald's that Cassidy was practically a regular at. As she waddled up to the glass front door, she bit her lip and frowned at her reflection. The dress she had managed to squeeze herself into hadn't looked this bad on her last year. Her body hadn't always been this big. Cassidy had grown up without a weight issue for most of her life. Yet after her 16th birthday, things started to turn. As her weight climbed, Cassidy became more self-conscious and timid. The more self-conscious Cassidy became, the more she turned to food as a source of comfort. She had difficulty getting past her body image issues, which saw her graduate from high school friendless with her virginity still intact and just south of 200 pounds. When she had gotten to college, she had wanted to reinvent herself. She felt motivated and ready to get her body back. As good as those intentions were, they never came to pass. Instead, Jess and Nicole had happened.

Being friends with two of the prettiest incoming freshman on campus had had their benefits. For one, Cassidy got to tag along to a lot of parties. Last year at one of the parties, she lost her virginity when she was drunk. He even kept her underwear as a keepsake. After losing her V-card, she was eternally thankful to both Jess and Nicole, who had set her up with the guy. Even things didn't end up working out with him, Cassidy was happy to have had the experience. Additionally, being around Nicole and Jess meant she got to see a lot of really cute guys. Some of them talked to her but found Cassidy's rack to be the only exciting thing about her. As much as Cassidy wanted to have sex with guys that were as good looking as the guy's Jess and Nicole got, she never found herself so lucky. After that first month of college, Cassidy stopped getting any attention from guys, period. This drove Cassidy to the dining hall more than ever.

The drawbacks of being friends with Nicole and Jess was the stress. They lived such a fast-paced life that Cassidy wasn't used to. Additionally, they made Cassidy do things she didn't want to do. They often got confused and told Cassidy a certain boy at the party had told them they thought Cassidy looked hot, egging Cassidy to talk to him. When Cassidy worked up enough courage, she always found that her flirting fell flat, and the guy hadn't been that into her. For Halloween, Nicole and Jess had bought Cassidy a 'Sexy piggy' outfit and made Cassidy wear it to a Halloween party. Though Cassidy knew they had meant well getting her a costume, she hadn't shared with either girl just how sensitive she was about her size. The stares and comments she had gotten walking around the party were excruciatingly humiliating.

All of the stress had made Cassidy balloon over her freshman year, gaining nearly 100 pounds, and then 35 more over the summer. The weight was always something Cassidy had trouble confronting, but it was getting harder and harder to brush aside with each pound. Cassidy was incredibly sexually frustrated, having had a taste of men at the start of her Freshman year, and then being almost entirely rejected by them to this day. There had been one exception at the end of her Freshman year, but Cassidy wanted to forget it. The guy was hot.. but The sex (or whatever it is she had done) was embarrassing and made her want to take a shower after. Cassidy often cringed when thinking about it. In times of weakness, she would text him but never went through with seeing him again.

Thoughts continuing to swirl in her head as Cassidy sat alone in the McDonalds, feeling completely helpless, sniffling between bites of her third quarter-pounder burger. This was getting out of control.