chapter 6 continued

“Forty-nine inches,” Tiana stated.

Not expecting a number quite that large, Beth looked desolate, “Oh wow… That’s a lot more junk than I expected…”

“That’s actually a good number,” Tiana said encouragingly. Grabbing a calculator, she continued, “that makes your waist to hips ratio…point seven three. That’s really a very healthy number.”

“See, I told you that you have a great ass,” I chimed in cheerfully. This time she didn’t shoot me a dirty look, just a pained smile. I considered that progress.

Tiana then measured her arms at 12.5 inches and her soft thighs at 28.5 inches. Finally, she got out her body fat reader, which kind of looked like a tool that doctors use when they look in people’s ears. The body fat reader was hooked up to Tiana’s computer and she explained that it could be off by as much as 2%.

Tiana held the reader up to Beth’s arm and it made a beeping noise as the information was sent to the computer. Then she had Beth pull her tight shirt up again so that she could hold it against her pudgy love handles. It beeped again and Tiana sat back down in front of the computer and printed out all the information that she had gathered so far.

“So, how fat am I?” Beth asked sounding defeated by the ordeal.

“Remember, the percentage of body fat is only one measure of health…” Tiana began.

“I know it’s bad. You wouldn’t be sugar-coating the number if it weren’t bad,” Beth interrupted sounding stressed.

“You’re at 39% body fat. I’d like to see you get down below 33%.” Tiana explained matter-of-factly.

“That still sounds fat. Very fat.” Beth gulped.

“Well, it’s a start and a realistic goal over the next three months. Most women our age try to keep their body fat below 30%.” Tiana replied.

Beth looked over at the printout in her hand and tried to read upside down, “It actually says that I’m 39.7%. That’s really like 40%... I’m huge. With the margin of error, I could be well into the forties!”

“This is why I tried to tell you, the percentage doesn’t really matter. You are quite fit for your size,” Tiana urged, trying to calm the plump redhead down.

“My size?” Beth repeated accusingly, “What are you trying to imply? Are you saying that for a fat out-of-shape girl, I’m not that out-of-shape?”

“Honey,” I said softly, “I think what she’s trying to say is that you’re fairly healthy and she thinks she can help you reach your fitness goals by Thanksgiving. Isn’t that right?”

“I can definitely help you, if you want to be helped. If you’d like, we can put an exercise regimen together for you. How does that sound?” Tiana wondered.

Beth took a deep breath and nodded her head, “I’m sorry I snapped at you. This is just a little overwhelming. But I do want your help. I need your help. What do I need to do to get back into shape?”

“You already took the first step,” Tiana kindly answered, “Now just give me five minutes to write up a fitness routine for you, something you can manage at least three times per week. Then we can go back into the gym, and I’ll show you how to do every exercise.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Beth agreed, as we stepped outside Tiana’s office to wait for her.

“Glad I dragged you here?” I teased with a little pinch to Beth’s big booty.

“You didn’t drag me here. I came of my own free will.” Beth nearly giggled thanks to the physical attention I was paying her big behind.

“Fair point.” I conceded giving her butt a mischievous slap.

“Maybe you should let Tiana write you up a fitness routine. That way we can get you back in shape.” Beth teased with a little playful slap to my midsection.

“That won’t be necessary.” I grunted a little too seriously.

She could see I was a little offended. Trying to clarify, Beth explained, “I was just teasing. I think you look great. Besides, you shouldn’t lose any weight until I’m lighter than you again.”

“Why is that?” I wondered raising an eyebrow, Beth always praised my high degree of fitness. Why was it she didn’t want me slimming down right away?

“Because that’s the way it’s supposed to be in relationships, women are supposed to be lighter. It’s more feminine.” Beth urged defiantly.

“So, you prefer me super fit, but only if I outweigh you?” I wanted to clarify.

“Exactly.” Beth hummed.

“So, if I ever got you pregnant, you’d want me to put on a ton of sympathy weight, huh?” I wondered.

“Oh my god yes haha. If your belly doesn’t get as large as mine, we have a problem.” Beth snickered cradling her gut for emphasis.

“Behind all that sweetness, you’re a little maniacal you know that?” I chuckled, as I wrapped my arm around her and lovingly rubbed her belly.

“Just a little bit.” Beth acknowledged enjoying the way I was touching her.