Chapter 17 - Cumbersome and Exhausting

~Dec 5~
I really should have chosen to do maternity pictures BEFORE stuffing myself for Thanksgiving and the last week with all those leftovers. I thought my weight gain would have slowed down a little bit between bed rest, the holidays, and Jason keeping me fed at home it seems like it's actually accelerated a little. I've gotten lazy with my increased size and am at a point where I'm just allowing whatever to happen to me.

Gestation: 35.5 weeks
Weight: 241lbs (+86)
Chest: 49.5" (+6.5)
Waist: 58" (+25)
Hips: 50" (+6)

I've gained 8 pounds in less than 2 weeks and I'm already starting to overflow from the 38G bra I bought online recently. My boobs are back to sore as they grow heavier, starting to fill with milk. My areolas are getting bigger and darker. The babies haven't dropped, but my belly is so fully rounded from under my chest to above my hips I look like a cartoon character with an exaggerated pregnant bump drawn on. I've had Jason help me rub lotion on myself more frequently as my skin is itching from stretching so quickly.

Jason got Zeke dressed and ready before helping me. I had to buy XL maternity shorts for under my dress which doesn't seem true to size. They cut into my thighs a little and it is difficult to stretch over my girth. Jason helps me put on a long-sleeved navy cobalt blue form-fitting long dress.

I do my makeup and put on some jewelry and meet Charity at a park. It's getting cold out here so we plan on only taking about 30 minutes of photos.

"Giiirrrlll, you are glowinggg," Charity gushes. "Look at this thing, my goodness. I can't believe you're still able to walk!" She lets her camera hang around her neck and puts her hands on my body's focal point.

"I've been on bedrest the last couple of weeks so I feel like I've gotten lazy with walking honestly. After Thanksgiving I feel like it's gotten even harder," I smile, rubbing my belly.

"I bet! But I don't blame you. If I was pregnant for every holiday like you I'd probably gain 50 lbs easily. So let's get started!"

Charity takes some family pictures, some of just Jason and me, and some of just me and my belly. I have Zeke put on a jacket between shots he's in so he doesn’t get cold. "I have an idea! Let's go over to my place just down the street. I have a black backdrop and a lacy robe I'd love to take your picture in!"

We meet her at her one-bedroom apartment. Jason and Zeke hang out in the living room while Charity gives me a lacy open-front robe to put on. It barely covers my chest just past my nipples, and obviously, my stomach is on full display. I know what style of boudoir-type picture she is referring to so I posed accordingly. I start feeling sexier and more empowered as the shoot goes on. She calls Jason over to sneak a peek at me in the robe which he immediately said he needed to leave (meaning he was trying not to get an erection while we're not home).

I put on my original dress and we drive home. Mary and Abel are coming over to set up the baby shower. Having a due date so close to all these holidays made scheduling everything hard so we had 2 big things for today. I have Jason help heave me out of the SUV. He puts his hand out to steady my front-heavy body when I step down. There were 3 boxes outside our front door that said they were from family out of state. "Don't you dare try and pick any of those us," Jason insists.

"I can barely get my arms around my own body let alone squat to pick anything up, babe. Don't think it's physically possible anymore." Jason smiles at my helplessness.

I heavily sit on the couch where Zeke helps me open the packages. Because I know he didn't remember, my dad's girlfriend sent presents for the twins: matching unisex onesies, some toys, pacifiers…it looks like she actually looked at my baby registry! I smile, happy even though I don't have a relationship with either of them at this point, that she's at least trying to make up for my dad.

Jason hands me a big bowl. I ask "What is this?"

"A snack. You're going your energy today." Jason smiles as he watches me take the first spoon of rice pudding into my mouth. It's so creamy and delicious. I share a spoonful with Zeke but eat quickly before he can ask for more. I hand Jason the bowl with a satiated hunger and open the other boxes from Jason's family containing a good variety of things that will help us.

Jason opens the door for Mary. I'm not even going to try getting up right now and I know Mary will understand. She sits down next to me and gives my belly a rub. "Any day now, little ones. Your home is beautiful but can't wait to meet you."

"Their home has grown tremendously with the holidays," I heavily sigh. "I feel so heavy and just want to sleep and eat all day."

"Then do it," Mary suggests. "You're almost there. Enjoy yourself a little longer. You have the best excuse in the world to eat and relax. Let me get you a snack."

Before I could protest, she rushes to the kitchen and brings back a tray of brownies she made. "I made some for today but also extra for you. They're a new recipe and you need your energy so try them!"

She practically shoves one in my mouth. They're moist, dense, and dark, just the way I like my brownies. Mary puts one hand on my belly, feeling the babies squirm in their growing home. "They like them! Here’s another." She feeds me another with her other hand. I reach both my hands out to encompass my belly and feel the twins respond to their hunger demands. Mary brings me a glass of oat milk to wash the dense dessert down. Another brownie. And another. We were broken out of a feeding trance after 7 brownies were added to my waistline by Jason asking Mary for help. My stomach is fairly full now, weighed down and gurgling from digesting all that sugar and carbs. I'm not sure if I'm going to leave this spot for the duration of the shower.

Some invitees arrive: Jason's coworker Craig and his wife Bernadette, followed by my coworker Alex, and Jason's buff ex-coworker Matt. I wasn't expecting Matt honestly. I guess they're rekindling their friendship. Jason walks Craig, Bernadette, and Alex over to where I was sitting in the living room. I don't even bother trying to get up.

"Any day now" seems to be everyone's go-to phrase for me at this point. I know I'm huge and have looked ready to pop for months now, thank you very much. Jason and the men are in the dining room talking while we ladies sit in the living room. Mary brings me a small plate of crackers and snacks to munch on. Alex is a 40-year-old coworker of mine whom I haven't gotten super close with so I was surprised she came. She brought her 3-year-old adopted son, Mark, who ran off to play with Zeke.

"You know," Alex starts off, "I used to want twins when I was trying to have kids. It just seemed fun and exciting and exhausting. We never have our cameras on for meetings so I never see you anymore but this sure does look cumbersome and exhausting."

"It sure is. Working from home had already made me a little lazy, but between being home and pregnant with twins, I've gained so much weight and have gotten so lazy. So much never reopened after quarantine, not that I have much time or energy to do anything more."

Bernadette reaches over and puts her hand on my knee, only a few inches at this point from the edge of my belly. "Well, you're doing the best you can. And you're still gorgeous."

"Thank you," I say with almost a tear in my eye. "So many days I don't feel that way. Just feel lazy or like a beached whale. I've been on bed rest for a few weeks now which has been hard mentally on me. I feel like I can't take care of my family."

"You're taking care of 3/5ths of your family right here, hunny," Bernadette lovingly said, giving my belly a rub. "You're doing what you need to. And if that's just rest and eat, then rest and eat."

That's the second time now that someone has suggested I focus on relaxing and eating. I subconsciously eat my crackers, almost as if I'm obeying orders.

We open presents, chat, and have a great time. After a couple of hours, everyone leaves and we start cleaning up. I realize I've been sitting in that same seat almost the whole party and only got up to use the restroom. My butt is half asleep and I need Jason to help get me up again, his hand out to catch my belly like before. I use the restroom and waddle to the dining room to help clean what I can. Jason puts his hands on both sides of my belly, emphasizing how much wider I'm getting now. From behind me, Mary says, "I didn't realize how visible your belly is from behind. I can see the sides of it sticking out like you have a balloon under your shirt."

Jason rubs his hands all over my midsection. "She's right. I think you've run out of growing room forward. Your belly is like a perfect, beautiful sphere." I start to turn red, a little embarrassed but flattered by him being enamored the bigger my belly grew. "Keep cooking little ones. I want to see how big your home can get."

"Stop," I tease. "I'm big enough as it is."

"You've made it this far," Mary said. "A lot of twins are born prematurely and most before 40 weeks. Why not see how big you can get by the time they decide to come?" Mary puts a plate with pizza down on the dining room table. "You barely ate during the party. Time to feed those babies while we clean up. I want to see you finish, missy. Let's keep those babies cooking!"

I heavily sit in the wooden dining room chair, hearing the wood creak under me. My belly is nearly touching the table in order for me to reach. Mary notices and moves the plate on top of my built-in table. I really only ate snacks so 3 slices easily go down before Mary brings more. I take a few swigs of my iced tea before putting away another 2. I'm too full and heavy to push my chair back so I'm a bit pressed up against the table. Mary notices my plate and brings me another 3. I puff my cheeks out and buckle in to be stuffed. 8 total slices, the whole pizza. It's all packed away in my firm, stuffed belly. My breathing is shallow and my sides hurt. My dress is probably stretched to its max at this point and my shorts under my dress have rolled themselves down while my expansion outgrew them. Jason helps move my chair back a little which gives me some relief.

Everyone takes turns rubbing my belly as I close my eyes and digest in pain. Mary says, "now for dessert." My eyes quickly open, in shock that I'm apparently not done. She brings me the rest of the brownies that weren't eaten at the party. This tray must have had 10 on it! "Eat up. I'll get you some milk."

"Mary, can't you feel how full I am?"

"You haven't eaten nearly enough for a woman who's 35 weeks with twins. These brownies get hard when not eaten fresh so you need to enjoy them now."

Jason sees me struggling so he helps feed me. Why is it that when someone else feeds you it makes it easier? It's not like I'm any less full when it's by someone else's hands. "Close your eyes," Jason seductively says as he continues shoveling the rich chocolate dessert into my awaiting mouth. I'm trying to count but after 3 can't tell anymore how many I've eaten. I let out a few burps to free -up some room but reach the point where I feel like my stomach is about to pop.

"Babe, I can't eat anymore," I say as I open my eyes. What in the world… how?!

"Well, there's just 1 left," Jason says.

"I can see that now. Gosh, no wonder I can't breathe. I have no idea how I ate so many." I let out another burp and drink some milk. The cold liquid is refreshing but makes my stomach feel heavier as the food soaks it up. I continuously rub my distended form in hopes of digesting faster for relief.

Jason takes a small bite from the last brownie. "Here, I'll help." He reaches out for me to eat the rest. My bites are slow and painstaking. My stomach is pressing into the bottom of my chest and the underwire on my bra is cutting into me. When the last bite is gone, I can't help but let out as large of a sigh as my lungs have room for. I can only take small breaths and keep rubbing my belly. I can feel I've grown because of how minimal my fingers touch reaching around. "Let's get you changed into something more comfortable." Jason had to pull me up this time as I was too full to use any of my muscles. I must be swaying forward a lot these days because he's always putting his hand out to catch my belly now.

Jason has to practically undress me himself in our room. The shorts were difficult to peel off but I managed to get on a very tight long-sleeve maternity shirt and a pair of maternity leggings. The front panel on these sits a few inches below my belly button now, and my shirt barely overlaps the pants. I ask Jason to get me the tape measure from the restroom so I can see just how much my max capacity is at the moment. 59.5" it reads. That's almost the end of the 5-foot tape measure. I'm in shock at being almost as round as I am tall. I tell Jason I'm going to take a nap so he lays behind me and gives me belly rubs until I fall asleep.

I wake up a couple of hours later, still heavily bloated from pizza and brownies. I use the restroom and waddle slowly to the living room where everyone is watching a movie. I lay into Jason sideways and he puts one hand on my belly. "Feel better?"

"Yes, thanks," I say, rubbing myself to digest more. "I'm going to have to get a bigger tape measure."

"For real?" Jason sounds confused and excited. "How long is the one you have?"

"It's 60 inches and I'm already almost there."

Jason's hand pats his handy work. "I'll order one online right now. Need to make sure we can keep tabs on your growth."

We finish the movie and Mary and Abel head home after giving their niece and nephew some attention. That night, Jason and I made love to the best of my bloated ability, his hands taking turns exploring all the aspects of my growing body. Considering how much weight I've gained, my belly maintains a round mountainous appearance, even from my back. I struggle with being on all fours too long as my belly rubs against the bed. Everything is painful yet enjoyable at the same time so we continue until my stamina is depleted and rest is needed for the night.