Chapter 19 - Full. Fat. Heavy. Pregnant. Satisfied.

~Jan 6~
New Year went by fast. We all fell asleep before the ball dropped and I didn't care. I missed my 39-week appointment so I am forced into going to my 40-week one today. I put on a skin-tight striped dress that only emphasizes my girth. I made Jason take time off to drive me. Today is our 1-year anniversary and I tell Jason I don't want to do anything to celebrate it. It's a weekday and I'm not open to going anywhere.

The doctor didn't expect me to make it this far and suggests once again to induce me which I decline. I am a whale but I want these babies to come when they're ready. In truth, part of me is just nervous to have 2 newborns and although I'm uncomfortable, I enjoy being able to keep them safe inside me. And eat as much as I want with an excuse. I add my weight to my measurements from this morning which Jason needed to help with.

Gestation: 40 weeks
Weight: 255lbs (+100)
Chest: 50.5" (+7.5)
Waist: 63" (+30)
Hips: 51" (+7)

Yes, I've officially gained 100 pounds this pregnancy and I have mixed feelings about it. I know I'll lose some but like I've said, I really enjoy my pregnant belly. It's so round and full all the time and I can't fit my arms around it anymore. Even Jason cannot get his arms around the fullest part now. I'm unbelievably front-heavy between the hot air balloon that's my stomach sticking out in front of me and the extra-large watermelons that are my H-cup breasts sitting on top. They are getting harder and I can feel the familiar sensation of them filling with milk. My hips have widened but my belly has outgrown everything, stealing the show when anyone looks…no, stares at me... I feel the fat on my hips and ass shake with every step as I walk. My whole body has ballooned up. Even my legs and ankles are swelling with extra fluid.

The ultrasound check shows that the babies are healthy and have extra fluid as expected. I'm starting to dilate so they could be here any day now. My belly has noticeably dropped a little, sitting deeper and lower near my hips, causing me to waddle even more and rely daily on my plus-sized belly support.

I am told since we are still during "quarantine times" that I need to do a test the day I give birth and they will not allow me to do a water birth. I am devastated and uncontrollably sob. I had my heart set on a water birth since the beginning and had hoped things would have died down and allowed me to do one by this time but the doctor filled me with false hope until the end, possibly still to try and push me towards a c-section.

We get in the car and I pass the seatbelt over my girth since I can't reach it. Jason stops for donuts and boba to cheer me up. I thank him through my tears and sadly nibble my donut. I am distraught and I didn't notice that he actually got a dozen donuts until he hands me a second with a smile. Jason just puts one hand on my belly as I eat, trying to dry my tears. I used to be an emotional eater, which seems to be happening again right now and I don't even care. I am upset and disappointed and I need donuts. 4 Boston creams disappear, then 2 jelly filled; I start feeling the effects of the sugar. Jason doesn't say a word and just rubs as I surpass my daily sugar intake in one sitting. 8 donuts strain the seams on my dress as the twins kick. I feel my stomach stretch in multiple ways and only manage 1 more donut before I tap out.

We go home and I lay on the couch, watching movies with a pillow supporting my belly. I mindlessly snack on some chips because I need to offset the sweetness. When Jason is on break he comes and sits down by my feet on the couch. I slowly roll onto my back, supported by a pillow, barely able to see the top of Jason's head over my own body. My sore boobs press against my chin. Jason gives me belly rubs again, exactly what I want from him. My stomach is overflowing past my sides like I'm a snow globe.

I didn't realize I fell asleep until Jason woke me up with food. I sit up with great difficulty, crossing my legs under me and letting my belly rest in the open space. I'm still depressed about earlier so I eat the whole bowl of pasta without processing any hunger cues. I feel the weight of what I had eaten added to the weight pressing on my legs and my breaths more shallow. Jason comes to check on me and says, "You feeling any better, babe?"

"As better as I can be," I huff. "That was also a lot of pasta so now you are required to give me more belly rubs."

"Of course. Why don't you lift your dress up and I can rub some lotion on you?"

"You're going to have to help me with all that. Not sure how much I'm able to move."

Jason grabs my hands and helps me slowly to my feet, stopping my momentum with his hand. I pull up the skin-tight dress just below my chest, exposing my stretch marks. Jason helps me sit, grabs the lotion, and starts his work. I have so much surface area for him to cover but I'm glad he's enjoying this as much as I am. The twins make sure to tell their daddy they're there as well, giving me discomfort and pain. You'd think there were more than 2 by the sheer amount of kicks and elbows I feel. Their home visibly stretches, rocks, and shakes as they remodel their penthouse. I try to move a little so Jason can reach the underside that rests on the couch. Jason takes this opportunity to make moves as he touches my body, trying to semi-celebrate our anniversary. He lifts off my dress the rest of the way and undoes my bra. My heavy breasts flop on both sides of my body. Jason helps me up and leads me into the bedroom backward, watching my body sway and jiggle as I walk.

He helps lift me up onto the bed where I lay on my side like a beached whale. He separates my large cheeks to help enter me from behind. He grabs my hips for leverage as he slowly rocks my whole bloated body, building in momentum and force. After some time, he whispers, "sit on me."

"WHAT?!"

"G et on top. I need to know what it's like."

"I will crush you. You heard this morning how much I weigh now."

"I don't care. You're beautiful and I don't know if I'll get another chance to try this." Jason basically uses his muscles to move my large body, helping me lift my leg to get into position. "Now stop trying to hold yourself up and let me feel all of you." I slowly relax my legs and muscles, letting my whole weight rest on top of him, my belly stretching from his stomach to chest, nearly in his face. He lifts his head to kiss my belly button, hands on both sides, taking in the mass. His hands feel so nice that I forget a second ago I had nerves about this. Jason gives me all the attention I could need and I love every minute of being a whale to grow his children. I'm not sure if my body would be able to take triplets if this is the rate I grow at, but I would hands down give him twins again if this was what he wanted.

Jason brings home food along with Zeke. Zeke keeps asking when his siblings will be here and we assure him soon. We stuff ourselves full of delicious Chinese food, me eating 2 family entrees and 3 eggrolls without batting an eye unlike in the past. My tank top exposes about 2 inches of the front of my lower belly and my pajama pants sit tightly below my curve. I lay back and soak in this feeling that may leave me soon. Full. Fat. Heavy. Pregnant. Satisfied. I've long gotten over being embarrassed by showing my pregnant belly, so we'll see how things are after they're here and I'm just fat.

Jason brings me my favorite rice pudding with oat milk chocolate ice cream. The bowl rests on top of my belly as I savor the flavors adding calories to my waistline. I reach the point where I can no longer breathe easily or get up on my own. Jason puts Zeke to bed and joins me again on the couch, enjoying my body while it lasts.





~Jan 13~
I honestly didn't think it was humanly possible to carry twins past 40 weeks on a 5-foot-tall body. Jason waited to go on parental leave so he could get the most time with the babies as possible. Jason has a hard time convincing me to keep up with measurements at this point but his enthusiasm won as I have no energy to fight him. He helps me into my skintight dress from last week as not much else fits anymore. My breasts overflow from my 38H bra, meaning I'm probably a 38I now with leaking milk.

Jason got a wheelchair for me to get from the car to the office for my appointment today. I tried walking but he worried I was so front-heavy I would fall. My belly is noticeably even lower now, drooping between my hips and causing me to walk wide. Jason wheels me to the waiting room where I feel all eyes trying to not be conspicuous.

While Jason left to check me in, the lady next to me asked, "When are you due?"

"Last week," I say a little short and trying to not sound like I'm breathing too heavily.

"You poor thing. You'll lose the weight eventually."

This is quite possibly the rudest thing I've ever heard and my brain snaps. "Excuse me? I'm overdue with twins. This is my 3rd pregnancy and I am more concerned about cooking these babies than I am about my weight at this point. When you're pregnant with multiples I hope you understand what an insatiable appetite truly is." I use what little strength I have to wheel myself away. I tell Jason when he comes back, but thankfully we don't have to wait long. I can feel the lady's face still in shock, watching as I go back. Stepping up to the scale has never been more difficult.

Gestation: 41 weeks
Weight: 261lbs (+106)
Chest: 51" (+8)
Waist: 66" (+33)
Hips: 51" (+7)

The babies had a growth spurt since my belly grew 3 inches and 6 pounds this week. They're of course big at this point so they're gaining weight faster. I'm measuring 2 weeks ahead which puts me well overdue. I'm dilated more and my doctor thinks within the next day or so I should go into full labor, but tells me I should probably check in to the hospital and be admitted early. She encourages me to do a c-section because I've gained so much weight she fears it might be difficult for my body to naturally do it. I say I'll think about it, still ruffled by the news last time and almost wanting to spite her.

We do 8 donuts, boba, and belly rubs again in the car on the way home. I'm having most difficulties getting out of the car, knocking into the door or Jason no matter what I do. I take a nap and wake up in time for lunch. Jason bought pizza, 8 slices finding a new home inside me. The seams on my dress are strained and audibly ripping with each breath I take. I don't want to rip the dress, but Jason encourages me to try. 1 more slice is hard and gives me hiccups. As I start the 10th, I freeze when I hiccup and hear the popping sound Jason was waiting for. I can't turn but Jason shows me around the fullest part of my belly there is a small hole on my right side now. My breathing is ragged and the hiccups hurt. With a few minutes of digesting and a few more hiccups, another seam goes and makes the hole bigger. I'm forced into finishing that slice as well as 1 more before I convince him I can't do it anymore. He gets the tape measure and reads "67.5" as I lay my head back and catch my breath, I believe the number, not even surprised 8 donuts, boba, and 10 slices of pizza would do that to me.

Jason surprises me with treats and continues to keep me well-fed throughout the week, saying he wants to make sure I have energy when it's time and we've eaten before we're trapped in the hospital.

It's now Saturday; I'm 41.5 weeks basically and Mary and Abel are coming over. They agreed to stay in our guest room and watch Zeke for a few days while we are in the hospital. I didn't know they were here until I was awoken from my nap on the couch to belly rubs by hands other than Jason or Zeke. I open my eyes and Mary is staring in pure awe.

"What did the doctor say at your appointment?" Mary asks.

"That I've gained too much weight and I'm due any day now like I don't already know that."

"You're doing great, hun," she smiles. "You're growing the most beautiful, glorious, roundest baby bump and I can't believe how much bigger it's grown in just a few weeks. Rest up and we'll be here to help. I'm going to start making food to freeze for after baby comes; I just needed some belly lovings beforehand."

"Get your fill. I started having some contractions earlier today so could be soon."

"How exciting! I'll sit with you longer."

A few hours go by and Mary has made us all dinner. Jason helps me sit up so we can eat together in the living room. The contractions are getting a little stronger but not enough to make me worry, so I enjoy Mary's delicious veggie lasagna. 5 slices and I'm stuffed. Everyone takes turns getting belly rubs and feeling what contractions feel like from the outside. Cookies and pie are for dessert, and I can't resist having more than my share, putting me into a barely awake food coma. I ask Jason to help me to bed early tonight, noting that it is almost time.

the next morning and the contractions are stronger for sure. Jason reads "265" on the bathroom scale and "66.5" on the tape measure before Mary fills us with breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, French toast, veggies sausages, potatoes, the whole nine yards. It's my favorite type of food so I eat beyond my fill as usual, almost like it's a competition to see how much I can gain before birth at this point. I don't leave the dining room table for a while, talking with Mary as she feeds me more. My tank top is stretched tight, the bottom hem only making it to my belly button. My leggings are as far below my waist as they'd go, my underwear visible through the sheer material. My breaths are labored between swallows. I feel my stomach growing tighter with food and contractions, an odd combined sensation. I wince from pain as Mary puts a forkful of pancakes into my mouth. I tell Mary I've reached my limit and that I'm not moving from this chair.

Jason checks our hospital bag once more to make sure we have everything as my contractions grow more painful, squeezing my overstuffed stomach. Mary tries to sneak another bite into me but I refuse at this point. We're getting ready to have a baby soon. Mary goes to the restroom and returns with the tape measure.

"We need to know," Mary says.

"Well," I groan, "the boys are going to have to help me up because I'm not moving. Why did you have to feed me so much? Ugh."

Jason and Abel come into the kitchen and gently pull me to my feet, both putting a hand out to steady my massive center of gravity. They both take the moment to rub and feel once more what this pregnancy and overindulgence have done to me. I reach forward and cradle my heavy, firm girth, sitting low and separating my hips.

"Wow… 68 inches," Mary says, reading where Jason stopped the tape.

"You're definitely about to have them, babe," Jason says. "You're belly is practically growing as we speak."

As he says that my water breaks, slowly dripping on the tile beneath me. "Looks that way," I groan as everyone scrambles to get towels and keep Zeke out of the dining room. Jason and Abel have to help get me into the SUV and move the seat back to make room for my belly. Jason needs to help me with the seat belt because I'm far too big to do it myself.