Chapter 4

It had been three weeks since that fundraiser. I’m glad I didn’t have to go to any of those anytime soon. And I could finally focus on seeing that the merger went through–which it did. I wished I could have felt relief but it was impossible. There were still all these details to be worked out, how we’d advertise and run marketing campaigns together and how the financing would go and who’d be in charge of what.

But I had a lunch break to take pause from running around like a headless chicken.

With how busy things have been, lunch was turning into my favorite meal of the day. A time where I could get away from the chaos which lasted for many hours. Today, I had some delivery from a nearby pizza parlor. I had a small pepperoni pizza, a side of wings, fries, and a garden salad.

Knock, knock.

“Come in.”

Kristina marched in, right up to my desk.

“Is something wrong?” I asked. “You upset that I didn’t order you pizza?”

But she didn’t crack a smile as she usually would at one of my jokes. “I’m tired of this, Tom.”

I frowned. Since that weekend at my place, Kristina had been persistent about moving things to the next level.

“Kris, we’ve been over it. I told you that it’s risky. And besides, we hang out almost every day here.”

She folded her arms. “Working together isn’t the same thing and you know that.”

I couldn’t do it. We were better and safer as friends. We shouldn’t try. If we tried it would end badly, just like everything else had. Nothing ever ended well with me and women ever since I took over this company. I couldn’t take another failure. This one would hurt me the most.

“I don’t understand, Tom. Do you not think I’m attractive enough?” she asked, looking directly into my eyes.

“No, no, no,” I shook my head. “It’s definitely not that. You’re absolutely stunning.”

“Then what is it? Is it because I’m not one of those socialites?”

“Kris, it’s none of that. Unlike the snobs I’ve been forced to be around, you’re refreshing. You’re a good person and I don’t care about your background.”

“Sex?”

My eyes widened. “No! I’d never use you for a good time… It’s just…”

“What? What is stopping you from even considering a single real date?”

“Everything with women just turns into a disaster. I honestly don’t know what you see in me anyway. Like you’ve said I’m not more than a ‘party pooper’. I’m sure you could do yourself a favor and find someone who is a more suited match to someone as wonderful as you are.”

She looked at me pleadingly. “Thomas–”

“Listen, why don’t you take this,” I said, reaching into my pocket and slipping the check to her.

Kristina took it out of my hand and looked it over. “What…? One million dollars?”

“Yes, it’s yours if you stop pursuing me in a romantic way.”

She looked at me, her mouth slightly agape. Then she tore the check up and threw it to the ground.

“You’re unbelievable! You’re really trying to pay me to stop having feelings for you?” she balled her fists up, becoming red in the face. “Why do you think you can pay for everything with money? Why do you think I would do that?”

“I–”

“Oh, I get it now. That’s why you hook up with airhead socialites. You think everyone is out for your money.”

Kristina glared at me.

“I’m insulted. I’m not some shallow bimbo after your riches. I like you. And I just want you. That is it.”

“...It won’t work. It never does.”

“For someone so smart, you’re an idiot. You won’t even try,” she pointed. “You know, maybe it’s for the best. I couldn’t be with someone who is so cowardly.”

Without another word, she bolted out of the room and slammed the door shut.

I sighed. Great. Not like things could get any worse between us. At least, I hoped not.

I looked at the torn scraps of the check that lie in the middle of the floor. How could that be? It’s impossible that anyone would turn down free money like that. Even if I really did like the person, even I would be tempted to accept a free million bucks. But Kristina maintained her alleged feelings. Could she be that naive? …Or could she really care about me the way she says she does?

Nobody besides a few acquaintances I had wanted nothing to do with me. For everyone else it was just my money, my assets, my influence. I learned that having those things meant that people didn’t care about me, just what I could do for them. What I could give them was always most important. Never me.

So how could someone just want me for me? I was nothing without this company. In the end, money was everything…Right?

—--------------------------------------- -----------------

My break couldn’t have come sooner today. I leaned back in my office chair and looked out the window. A bright and sunny look into late spring. Too bad I couldn’t go out and enjoy it fully. Even though I was working at home this week, I was still working.

I stood up and stretched my arms over my head.

There was a knock at the door. “May I enter?”

“Come in.”

It was Maria. “Lunch is ready.”

“Thank you.” That was great because I had nearly forgotten about eating today. Before I could exit my office, Maria stopped me with a question.

“Master Thomas, may I ask why you’ve been taking so much time to work at home these days? Since the company implemented days to work at home, you’ve never taken them until now.”

“Oh, I suppose it would just be easier to get some things at home as opposed to the office lately,” I replied. It was a half truth. With Kristina’s last comments on my mind everything felt awkward between us now and it made things hard to focus.

“Why do I feel the answer is somehow more complex than what you’re letting on?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

I sighed. Maria knew me too well, and I knew if I was to try to keep it to myself, she’d somehow manage to pull it out of me down the line.

“Well, it’s hard to focus on work because of my secretary. I don’t know how to approach the situation at the moment. I wanted time to regroup.”

“Are you sure you aren’t avoiding her?”

“No,” I denied.

Maria suppressed a smirk. “Well, if that’s the case, you can’t spend forever thinking about what to do. You’ll have to try eventually, right?”

“I know, I know…” I knew that. Kristina was very serious. I wanted to be serious. But I didn’t want to fail again.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” she smiled, dropping the topic. “You should grab some lunch.”

I nodded, while starting to brush by her.

“Oh! Actually, Master Thomas, there was just one more thing on my mind.”

“What is it?”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but you’ve put on a little weight lately,” she said, eyes scanning me over. “That’s why I was curious about why you were home. You haven’t eaten like that in a long time. And usually that was when you were upset about something.”

“Oh…” I hadn’t noticed at all. My clothes were still fitting. But I hadn’t worn a suit in a couple of weeks, since all meetings were handled over the phone or video chat where no one saw below my torso.

“Honestly, I think you could use the extra weight. Plus the chefs are happy to have their skills utilized more often these days. So I wouldn’t worry,” she said. “That’s all. Enjoy your break.”

She excused herself from my office and went off down the hall. Before I went to lunch, I decided to head to the bathroom where the nearest scale was. Closing the door, I pulled out the digital scale from under the sink. I placed it in front of me, while I easily stripped down to nothing but my boxers.

I hadn’t checked in a while, but a couple of months ago, I was somewhere around 165. I climbed on the cool glass and watched the numbers climb. It had flashed right past 165 and stopped at 181.

“Woah.”

That must have been about 16 pounds I’d gained. Then again, I hadn’t been actively working out for the past month. And like Maria said, I had been eating more in hindsight.

I looked in the bathroom mirror. My face looked a little fuller, far from losing definition, but it was a tad noticeable. The mirror was just long enough that I could also see some of my upper half. My abs which were already fading were gone, replaced with a layer of fat.

I put the scale away and put my t-shirt and shorts back on.

The damage wasn’t that bad. Barely noticeable especially in baggier clothes or my suit probably.

It wasn’t the worst, but I figured I should cut back on the junk I was eating and start using my gym again.

…Or maybe I shouldn’t.

In fact, if I didn’t change my behaviors or stress meter, I would continue to gain weight. And if I gained weight, I’d be unattractive to a lot of people.

If Kristina really liked me for who I was, she would still like me even if I was fat, right? Otherwise, if she didn’t, it would be clear the more weight I gained. There was even the bonus of getting rid of those other annoying women who would flock to me too. They were shallow and couldn’t easily fathom being with someone they deemed unattractive.

Perhaps it was a stupid idea, but I wanted a way to test her. If money wasn’t of interest and I was, I was very curious to how she’d react.

The odds were I’d be fat down the line looking at my family history anyway. And if that was the case, why delay the inevitable? Anyone I eventually married would be dealing with a chubby hubby. My father hadn’t always been ginormous– he’d been lanky like I am now, seeing all the old photos. After being married for so many years and then having me, he’d blown up. It’d seemed to be the case for people on his side of the family.

It was a crazy idea, but I was sure it would work.

Starting tomorrow, the test would begin.