Chapter 13 - I can’t wait for next time

I’ve been having weekly appointments this far along, playing it out week-by-week to see how long my body and these babies will hold out for. We thought we weren’t going to find a photographer in time, but one of Mikhail’s employees came through at the last minute for us.

I have my 35-week appointment first this morning, August 21st, then we’re doing photos. It takes me twice as long as previously to walk anywhere. When we arrive at the office, Mikhail had called ahead of time and asked for a staff member to bring out a wheelchair for me. My widening hips slip past the armrest, and I heavily sit down. Mikhail wheels me up to the appointment while I relax, hands folded on top of my belly, unable to fit my arms around myself anymore. My dress is stretched tightly across all of my body including my ever-growing boobs pushed up a few inches below my chin. Before we’re called back, Mikhail takes a picture of me as a memory that this might be our last appointment. He’s been doing that the last few times and has been helping me take my weekly bump pics at home where we have more space.

The nurse calls my name, Mikhail wheels me to the scale, and I slowly heave myself up and onto the scale, sighing knowing the number is going to be more than expected with how fast I’m growing each week. 242 is definitely more than I was expecting, realizing I’ve gained about 5 pounds a week the last few weeks. I have almost gained as much as Sarah now, and I probably weigh as much as my husband. The thought stirred my stomach as I sat back down and was wheeled to the exam room.

The doctor says most multiples are delivered early so it’s not as common to stay pregnant as long as I have. She says we’re scheduling a c-section for next week, being that the babies are measuring big and ahead still, and I’m so front-heavy now I can barely walk. She tells me to keep eating when I’m hungry and rest often to keep my strength and energy up for their arrival, which could be any day.

We drive home and Mikail stops for the usual donuts, me getting 4 this time and him 2. Mikhail helps me out of the SUV and into the house. I squeeze into the same gray dress from my baby shower 3 weeks prior, and can feel the difference in the fit in just that short of a time. With a (mostly) empty stomach, the dress sits above my knees around the same length it rode up post-party and stuffing last time. These last 14 pounds appear to have all gone to my belly. When Mikhails wraps his arms around me and rubs, I can feel how my belly now widens out in front of my body, much like a snowglobe, round and massive. I do not appear to have dropped yet, but I’m also really short so not sure if or when my silhouette will change in that regard.

Mikhail’s employee, Angel, comes over and sets up his equipment in our backyard where we’re going to start the session. I slowly make my way outside and see Angel look up, his eyes widening at the sight of me. He’s very courteous to not have said what he was thinking out loud, although I can imagine. Mikhail introduces me and we talk for a minute to break the ice. I’m not the most comfortable person in front of a camera, especially in my current state, but Angels does well at putting me at ease before we begin.

We take quite a few in different poses together, some by myself, before we migrate into the house. Mikhail specifically wants some of me with my belly showing on our bed, something more intimate. I put on a black lace robe he bought me, some black panties, and started posing on the bed to the best of my body’s ability. I felt like a whale trying to roll around and not breathe too heavily after movement. Angel congratulated us and said he’ll edit and send the finals to Mikhail soon, and offered his services for newborn photos after the babies arrive as well.

I get changed back into comfortable clothes, braless, and flop on the bed, exhausted from the day so far. Mikhail, on cue as usual, comes up behind me to provide my body with proper rubs and attention.

“Any day now,” Mikhail says sweetly in my ear.

“Yeah, I’m going to miss it just being us and being able to spend time with you whenever I want. These babies are going to take up so much of our time once they’re here, babe. Now that we’re getting closer to their arrival, I’m starting to get nervous. Am I going to be able to produce enough milk? Be able to find time to workout? Make dinners at home again? Will we have alone time?”

“Don’t worry, beautiful. We’ll figure things out as they come. And there is no way you won’t be producing enough milk. Your boobs have doubled in size these last 8 months, and you don’t have to worry about us. I’ll always find you attractive and sexy.”

“Even with all this weight I’ve piled on that’s not from the babies?”

“Even so. You’re beautiful, and like I’ve said, I’ve found you so attractive with a motherly figure. Pregnant or not, you can’t remove these memories we’ve created together. You’re giving me a family and there’s no one I would rather grow fat and old with.”

“You? Fat? That’s funny. I can’t imagine you blowing up like me.”

“I’ve gained a bit of sympathy weight, thank you very much. And with less gym time I’ve been putting on more lately. And I know what you’re thinking. I’m up to 260 so you’re still smaller than me, don’t worry.”

“I’m not that far behind after seeing the scale today. And then knowing it’s only going to go up more.”

“You’ll always be smaller than me, even when pregnant with triplets, which by the way, look amazing on you. I know they’re not even here, but I can’t wait for next time.”

“You’re already planning on more?” I ask a little wide-eyed. “You know I’m the one that has to get fat to carry them, right?”

“You’re not fat,” Mikhail chastises. “And yes. We’ve already successfully completed the method and it worked, so why not try again? I know you want to lose weight after they’re born, but let’s not wait too long and risk having to do the method again if you lose too much.”

“That is true… I didn’t think about having to possibly gain more next time… Okay, I’ll see how I’m feeling and how big of an adjustment our new life will be. Maybe I won’t get my period right away and I won’t be able to get pregnant again right away. We’ll just have to wait and see how this plays out. I love you so much.”

The next week is filled with food between naps. I’m constantly eating in just my underwear and too-small tank tops in bed. I only get up to use the restroom because it’s become too much work to move. Mikhail helped prop me up on pillows so I could watch TV over my belly which is all I can do besides eat and sleep these days anyway. Jake sent a dozen donuts which I ate in one sitting between lunch and dinner one day.

On Friday, the day before I was scheduled, the doctor called and said they had an emergency at the hospital and my c-section needed to be postponed a little longer, but she’d call me as soon as they had an opening. In the meantime, relax and try not to put myself in labor.

By Wednesday, August 30th, I am 36 and a half weeks, past the point the doctor said I should deliver, and feeling bigger by the day. I call Sarah, upset and uncomfortable, so she has Matt stay home with the baby while she comes over to check on me the next day. Mikhail let her in the house because I’m not getting up. She walks into the room where I lay like a beached whale, belly full exposed, covered in stretch marks, sticking up higher than I can fit my arms around. Her face has amazement written all over it as she slowly walks over to me like I’m a marvel.

“Wow, Annie. That is all I have to say.”

“I know,” I huff, trying to adjust myself to see her better. “I’m so overdue and growing more rapidly. I haven’t even weighed myself in over a week. All I can do is eat and sleep and watch TV. I’m bored and uncomfortable and Mikhail is trying to get as much work done as he can before they arrive. Whenever that is going to be. I feel like I’m not even going to be able to get up to go to the hospital at this point.”

“I can’t imagine how you feel. I mean, not pregnant me weighs more than triplet pregnant you, but your belly is massive and being pregnant is totally different than just being fat.”

“Can you get me more tea, Sarah? I’m so thirsty but can’t move.”

Sarah takes my cup out to the kitchen where I can hear her and Mikhail talking lowly.

“Is she going to be okay staying home like this?” Sarah asks. “Shouldn’t they admit her to the hospital in case she goes into labor? She doesn’t look like she’s able to move.”

“She hasn’t been able to move much, but I’m a little worried, too. I want to make sure we can get to the hospital in time since the doctor said she has to have a c-section.”

“I’d call the hospital and see what they say since the doctor doesn’t seem to be on top of her care.”

They both come into the bedroom. Mikhail helps me roll out of bed so I can use the restroom, using his strong arms to steady me. I can tell at this point, it’s not as easy for him, but he does well at not making me feel like I’m too heavy for him. He walks behind me as I widely waddle to the restroom, making sure I don’t fall. I do my best to adjust my underwear and tank top before coming out, but this tank top is long past where it should fit, stretched tightly across my F-cup breasts, tucked between my breasts and belly because it barely can pull down an inch anymore.

Mikhail helps me back into bed where I lay huffing out of effort for a minute. I quickly drink the whole cup of tea Sarah brought me along with some danishes before vigorously rubbing my baby mountain. My skin is so tight and heavy, like a balloon filled with sand, stretched thin and bursting at any moment. The babies have definitely dropped and are sitting very low in my pelvis, moving and kicking with what little room they have left, making everything uncomfortable. I can only lay with my knees bent and legs open on both sides, visually emphasizing just how large I’ve grown. My belly is one large sphere from pressing my breasts up like a pushup bra to my pelvis, bulging out wider than my body in need of more room.

Sarah sits on the bed, which I feel it sink in deeply under her heavy weight. She starts rubbing the portion of my belly she can reach, soaking in this moment as it may be the last. Mikhail returns a few minutes later, comes alongside the bed and kisses the apex of my belly that extends up towards him. “I’ll help you get dressed, babe. The hospital said it’d be best to come so we’re not in a rush when they have a room available.”

My friend and husband help sit me up and dress me like a doll. Sarah helps put on my nursing bra and Mikhail pulls my largest dress on me, the fabric strained all around, out-stretching its expectancy and much shorter than months ago. We gather our hospital bags, Mikhail buckles me in, and we’re off to the hospital. Mikhail gets a wheelchair and wheels me to the check-in. All eyes are on me and my massive belly. We explain our situation and they immediately take us back to a room.

Mikhail helps me get into the hospital gown before they weigh me and start taking my vitals. The scale reads 254, meaning in just 9 days since my last in-person appointment, I’ve packed on 12 pounds. That also means I’m exactly 100 pounds heavier than when I was when I found out I was pregnant.

The nurses are all working quickly, and I can see the awe in their eyes at my size. One is sticking monitors on me while another is using an ultrasound to check the babies. My heart rate and blood pressure are slightly elevated as expected this far along into pregnancy, and probably due to how much weight my body is carrying around. Geez.

After a few hours of tests and nurses calling doctors and arranging things, between 12:01 and 12:06 am on August 31st, all 3 triplets are delivered via c-section by a different doctor. He is amazed I carried them this long for an originally small person. Everyone there agrees they have never seen a triplet belly near as big as mine which appears more like it houses 5. The babies are thankfully born with no complications, and I am able to see them immediately as Mikhai holds each of them.

The average singleton baby in the US weighs 7 lbs 7.5 oz.
Average twins weigh 5 lbs 6oz.
Average triplets weigh 4 lbs.
Because I carried them longer than expected, their father’s genes, and how much weight I put on, each baby girl weighs on average 5lbs 6oz, the size of full-term twins. The babies take to my breasts quickly while at the hospital, which I believe helped them gain the weight necessary for discharge. The babies and I stay in the hospital for another 3 days before we are discharged. The doctors are amazed all 3 were fully developed and healthy enough to come home after such a short NICU stay.

When we get home, Mikhail carries in the car seats and helps me get situated in the bed where I’m going to be for a while. I walk around some like the doctors recommend and am feeling like a totally different person by the time the girls are a week old and ready for their first doctor’s appointment.

Their pediatrician says 2 of the 3 are big for triplets but healthy and growing fast. We complete newborn pictures with Mikhail’s employee, Angel, again. He’s very kind and I like his work. By 6 weeks, October 12th, they have nearly caught up to the size of single newborns, just one lagging behind slightly. Their doctor applauds me for being able to keep up breastfeeding and pumping for them all.

Next, it’s my own postpartum doctor’s appointment. Shortly after we had the girls, we found out although she wasn’t lying about hospital emergencies, my original doctor fled the country due to malpractice, which was why she never got back to us about rescheduling. I found a new doctor quickly which Sarah also transferred to as she plans on trying for another baby soon. I had a hard time getting over my nerves of seeing a new doctor, after being with one for months previously that didn’t judge me for my weight gain, which makes me curious how Sarah is going to do.

Mikhail waits in the waiting area with the triplets in car seats snapped into a triplet stroller. I go back and the anxiety returns as soon as I see the scale. I look down at my belly which obviously has drastically deflated but is soft and flabby instead of round and bulbous now. I’m wearing my maternity shorts to help smooth out my fat along with a now loose maternity shirt. I know I’ve lost weight and even with that I’m thankful my breasts stayed F-cups so I don’t have to buy new bras. I sigh as I step up and read...220? Wait… That’s better than I thought.

I meet my new doctor, she examines my c-section incision, bloodwork, and information. Since Mikhail isn’t in the room I ask about my weight and the potential of having more children.

“That’s really impressive,” she states. “You’ve managed to lose basically 35 pounds since giving birth. I suspect you’ll continue losing more as you’re breastfeeding. Our female bodies are remarkable; I believe your body gained what it needed. Although it was a little excessive, you managed to not have gestational diabetes or other complications generally associated with multiples and large weight gain. Your babies had an unheard of short NICU stay and are thriving without complications as well… I think you should be proud of yourself, mama.”

I start getting a little teary eyed, allowing my anxiety to ease up a bit as she spoke. “Thank you. I really needed to hear that. I felt like I had already gained so much weight using the stuffing method my friend told me about, then gained so much being pregnant and having insatiable hunger, I started feeling… I don’t know…”

“Ah, the stuffing method,” the doctor says like she figured something out. “You know, there hasn’t been much research on the accuracy of this method, but I have heard that women who use it generally do gain more during pregnancy than others because they’ve already started slowing down their metabolism beforehand, then continue the eating habits that helped them gain in the first place.”

“Explains my friend. She had just one baby and gained 25 beforehand then 100 during her pregnancy. She’s continued gaining since. She plans on another so I’m wondering how her body is going to handle it.”

“Like I said, there are no proper studies, but I have heard that many women who started with this method tend to gain more but also continuously gain weight, potentially more each pregnancy even. So, depending on her current weight and habits, she very well could gain 100 pounds again with the next one. I don’t advise it, but she could. You, on the other hand, should wait at least 2 more weeks before sex to fully heal, and to wait a few months before trying for any more. Your insides did stretch out to accommodate 3 babies, so you will need about 3 times as long to return to previous and heal. Since your triplets weren't genetic, it's uncommon but not impossible that you could have multiples again. Expect larger than average babies based on your husband's genes and because usually the first pregnancy has the smallest babies.”

The doctor gives me helpful information and as we drive home I tell Mikhail the information, telling him I want to wait a little longer to get back to feeling like myself again before trying to stuff me with another baby.