Chapter 11 - Brianna Wakes Up

Chapter 32

Brianna was in shock. She’d let herself go, it was indisputable. The stress of her master’s program, the carefree freedom afterward - she’d been in a total fog. And now it had lifted.

Answering Alex’s question with another question, she replied, “Could I really be that big?”. The answer was yes - Brianna had just weighed in at 226 pounds.

Not only had she gained 43 pounds in 18 or so months, but Brianna couldn’t help but register she was 111 pounds up from her all-time low of 115, and about 100 up from her old normal of 125-130.

Numbly, she and Alex walked back to the car. With every step she took, Brianna could feel her belly attempt to free itself from her bottoms, while her butt cheeks tried to gobble the fabric. She couldn’t believe she’d let her body get like this.

Hauling her heavy body into the car, it dawned on Brianna that she’d become quite wide, with her fat ass taking up the whole width of the seat. Though, as they drove, she told Alex to skip the fast food stop. But, looking around for a smaller snack - she found two little chocolates, which she then ate greedily.

Despite Alex’s encouragement, Brianna wasn’t quite ready to talk about what was going through her mind, even by the time they got back home. She was going to say the same things she’d said to him 75 and 40 pounds ago. What on earth was she going to do?

She thought about her lifestyle lately. Despite her walks home, she’d become so damn sedentary and, when it came to food and motion, incredibly entitled. Brianna thought about the way she’d been bossing around Alex lately, he didn’t deserve that. And yet, when she was hungry or sleepy, she became a monster.

Thinking back, she’d never been the fatty that spent her days at work munching on chocolate bars. It just wasn’t like her - and yet, now it was. She thought back to her trip back to Sicily with her sister and cousin, all those years ago, where she quit birth control and awakened the PCOS demon inside her. For that, Brianna would’ve liked the kick that skinny version of herself down the block for her poor judgment. That’s when the emotions welled up.

Chapter 33

To Brianna, all this was so unfair. Sure, her current diet had become very pig-like, but what had she done wrong at 115, 130, or 160 pounds. She ate like a regular person, more or less, and was punished for it severely. Her body hated her.

Brianna loved being lazy, she loved indulging, she loved food. She knew she took it too far sometimes, but she was always SO HUNGRY. She was so bitter, so angry at herself, and so jealous at everyone else.

For the next few days, Brianna ate as she always had, plowing through ice cream and chips and beer and all the snacks Alex had bought for her.

Until one night, she told him not to restock, saying, “My weight is out of control. I need to start doing something about it, for real. Exercise and the old diet, to start. I also want to see a doctor. It’s been awhile, and I want to start understanding my body a little more.”

And so, the new regime began. The first thing Brianna realized was the depth of her situation. First off, her body had gotten used to a steady stream of junk over the past couple years. Now, we found herself irritable and shaky, as she went through a withdrawal of sorts.

Predictably, exercise was also a struggle her belly and tits had gotten so large that certain exercises were rendered impossible. When on the floor, for instance, her elbow could no longer touch her knee. Jumping jacks were comical too - there was a lot of bouncing.

And at the end of each day, Brianna would use their new bathroom scale. Alex had bought one for her to help track progress. At a confirmed 226 (now 227) pounds, Brianna set a few goals for herself:

1. Get back to a semi-healthy weight (~145)
2. Lose 20 lbs a year for 4 years
3. See her vagina again (she hadn’t been able to in years)