Chapter 5: Hogsbottom

The two women entered the village adjacent to the train station, Hogsbottom.

Kristen looked over at Natasha, who sniggered and pointed unnecessarily at the village sign.

“…really?” Kristen said, eyebrows raised.

“Hey, c’mon. Pig’s ass is what they call themselves?”, said Natasha who wiped her eyes from laughter.

“It’s an old name. This town is—” began Kristen.

“Yes, yes, I know. Hogsbottom was founded nearly 400 years ago around the same time as your school, Chogwards. My magic brain just kicked in and told me so.” Said Natasha, tapping the side of her temple.

“It’s going to be so weird—yet refreshing—getting used to you knowing all our magic terminology and customs.” Kristen said as she led them through some main and then side streets of the little village.

“No kidding. Imaging thinking you are going to have to play interpreter for me while I am on vacation, only to learn that I know the ‘language’ just as good as you do.”

The two women passed many shops and Natasha would stop every few stores and make a comment.

“Ooh, a store that sells books! Any magic erotica in there?” she said, elbowing Kristen in the ribs.

Kristen blushed slightly and said that there might be, and the pair moved lazily on, luggage hovering behind them.

They turned a corner and on either side of the street they observed a shop that sold antique looking tea sets and another one that sold gardening supplies.

“Ooh, I must get you a welcoming plant,” said Kristen, who steered the pair of them across the street and into the shop. Natasha’s luggage hovered obediently outside the store, and she heard Kristen mutter the spell, “secureo!” so that the luggage would be safe as houses while the perused the shop. Natasha held open the door and the pair dashed inside.

Like she expected, Natasha knew that the tiny shop window was a front and that inside, the building was expansive. A not-unpleasant smell of earth and sunshine hit her nostrils. Her eyes scanned and she saw rows and rows of greenery that were laid out before her. She took in every color of the rainbow that came from beautiful plants and flowers – many she’d never seen before.

“Wow, the dragon-delias are coming in beautifully,” said Natasha as she walked past a potted plant whose red-orange petals emitted faint smoke.

She and Kristen separated and took in everything from enchanted peonies, whose blooms were four times larger than those Natasha had seen back home to rare Zebra orchids that whinnied if you got too close.

“I wonder what you use this for?” said Natasha, who held a particularly phallic-looking gardening tool.

“Hmm?” said Kristen, who was now looking at purple-tined cactus.

“Is this to show plants a good time?” Natasha said again holding the tool. It looked like a medieval dildo with abnormally round head that emitted a faint humming sound. Natasha emphasized the point by stroking the shaft suggestively and pulled a face of feigned ecstasy that made Kristen blush a little.

“Shh, put that back. You know it’s not for things like that. Let’s keep exploring.” She said, although not fully able to keep the humor out of her voice.

The women separated aisles, agreeing to cover more ground. After a few minutes, Natasha heard her name being called from what sounded like the far back of the shop. She walked past vined plants, spikey ones; ones that reached out for you and ones that smelled like fresh baked cookies.

“Ooh, ‘Tasha, look at this one.” Kristen was bent low and was pointing to a shelf.

Here, Natasha bent low, too and observed a small row of the most beautiful flowers she had ever seen. A singular plant in a pot was striking and stood out from the bunch. The plant itself shimmered white gold but also emitted a faint yellow glow, like an aura. Just looking at it make her feel immensely happy and calm. Searching her magical brain, she could not immediately come up with a name for this exquisite plant.

“I see that you ladies have fine taste,” came a voice from behind them.

A woman who looked like the proprietor of the shop came into view, pushing her glasses back up her nose, her fingernails caked in dirt.

“I was walking past and these literally caught my eye and I had to look more closely,” said Kristen, slightly breathless.

“That’s the charm of these flowers, they’re Everblooms and this one in particular is a crossbreed of an Italian Cassanovis Amouris and a French Je T’aime a la foile. We call it Amore Infinito follemente. They are a new breed of flower; we’ve just grown the first batch this season.” Said the shopkeeper.

“I love you, infinitely, madly…” said Natasha more to the plant than she meant to say aloud.

“That’s it,” said the shopkeeper, now eyeing Natasha with more praise. “It’s not too often we see a No-Wa-Kah like yourself who knows more about magic and nomenclature than we lot do.”

Kristen rolled her eyes, “Oh, this one doesn’t need any more of an ego-inflation. She’s got plenty for the two of us.”

They all laughed, and Kristen made to pick one up, “It’s lovely, I’ll just get the one.” But the potted flower did not move. It felt like it was magically charmed to the spot.

The shopkeeper smiled and put her hands on her soil-covered hips. “You cannot take one without its twin. These are amorous plants. They are sold in pairs.”

Natasha put a hand on Kristen’s confused shoulder, “These plants are Harmony Flowers. They are sold in pairs and the strength of bond between the Giver and the Receiver of these plants determines the fullness and robustness of the plant. Do I have that right? God, I love this magical memory thing!”

“She’s got the measure of it, this one. You sure you don’t have any magical ancestry?” Added the shopkeeper.

Natasha shook her head and shrugged, “None I am aware of. I just have a keen mind, I guess.”

“See to it that it stays sharp, young one.” The shopkeeper said.

“So, how do we choose?” said Kristen, feeling a little left out of the conversation.

“It’s easy. You just go along the row of flowers and the one that nods to you, is the one for you. Then your friend here does the same. After that, we will see if the plants dance.” The shopkeeper said this matter of factly.

Kristen inhaled and then sighed, “Okay, here goes…”

She bent over the plants, her hands outstretched. Comically, the plants that seemed disinterested seemed to fold their leaves across their stems like a person crossing their arms. Natasha could have sworn she heard some of them make noises of denial, ‘hmmph!’

Finally, one plant opened her leaves like one does to embrace a loved one, and the plant seemed to nod in agreement. Kristen gently picked up the plant and it came off the shelf easily. It shone a little extra brightly when she brought it close to her.

“I think this one is mine; I can feel it.” She spoke.

Natasha did the same, ushered on by the shopkeeper and immediately the first plant she came to seemed to lean forward in earnestness, its roots looking like they were parting company with the soil.

“Woah, this one seems to dig my vibe. Easy there, little fella.” She said, picking up the plant before it literally leapt out of its nutrient-rich home.

“That’s the first bit. Now for the dance. Here, you two, like this,” said the shopkeeper nudging the women in place so that each faced the other. She then motioned for them to hold their arms outstretched so that each planted flower was nearly touching, pot-to-pot.

They stood there for a full minute. Nothing happened.

“Erm,” said Kristen searching the wizened face of the shopkeeper.

“Give it a moment,” she said kindly.

Natasha felt the pot in her hands suddenly get a little heavy and then warm like she’d stepped into a warm bath. She felt heat radiate from the plant up her arms, into her face, down her legs and into her core. She felt like she was being held by a lover. Gentle but assured. She gently squeezed her legs together and tipped her head to side and gently bit her lower lip. Had a silent moan escaped her lips? In the same instant the warmth entered her; it was siphoned away, and she was left with only the happy memory of it.

Looking down at her plant, she saw that it was shining vibrantly and was unmistakably dancing with the air between it and Kristen’s potted flower. She leaned forward and could see that Kristen had experienced that similar feeling of warmth and assuredness. Her own plant dancing to a similar rhythm.

She stepped still closer now so that the rims of the pots now touched. Each plant stretched out and everyone watched, transfixed as the plants jostled and swayed moving in rhythm to a beat none of them could hear. The dance moves looked familiar to Natasha, and she suddenly recognized that her plant was dancing just like she used to back in college. She was also aware that Kristen’s plant, although trying its best, was jittering a little out of time and rhythm—just like Kristen used to.

“Woah, de ja vu,” said Natasha with a smile.

“Ditto! They look like us boogying on the dance floor from our college days.” Said Kristen, still watching.

The flowers did their final choreography and then parted and stood still once more like a flower should, albeit the fact that they were now glowing like 1,000-watt lightbulbs.

“Dang,” said Natasha, “my plant looked good!” she mimed a waggle of her hips, and her plant mimicked her.

“We are going to have fun with these.” She said and Kristen beamed.

“That’s the most robust pair I have ever sold!” said the shopkeeper who walked them to the front of the store, ready to make payment.

“I’ve got these,” said Kristen who reached into her purse and paid with the customary wizarding money.

The shopkeeper continued muttering appraisal of their plants as she packed them up in travel-worthy containers and bid them a very good day.

Back out in the fresh air, they re-charmed Natasha’s luggage and carried their plants a few more blocks as they headed their way to the luncheon spot Kristen had selected for them.

“Hey, back in there, did you feel anything…peculiar?” asked Kristen, still looking ahead.

“Peculiar, how?” replied Natasha.

Kristen worried her lip and frowned slightly, “I dunno. When I held my plant, I felt my body go all warm and tingly…” she looked sidelong at Natasha for a reaction.

“Well, I felt the warmth and the tingles all the way down to my lady-bits, if that’s what you’re asking.” She said with a comical eyebrow raised.

Kristen snorted with laughter, “Tasha! We’re in the street!”

Natasha expanded her arms as if to embrace the road and beamed, “Well, I did! What do you want from me?”

Kristen laughed again and made hushing noises. Natasha was now making small gyrating motions with her hip that looked as if she was bumping and grinding to the latest RnB song. A few witches and wizards took note, curious of the commotion.

“Hey. Hey, we are here.” Said Kristen.

Natasha, who was still dancing, did an impressive Electric Slide, complete with hand flare and 1-2-step (packaged flower still in hand) before she looked up to see where Kristen had led them.

It read: The Three Cauldrons

Kristen redid the security charm on Natasha’s luggage once again, as well as carefully stowed their packaged flowers. She was amused to notice that both her and Natasha’s flowers were doing rooted versions of bumping and grinding as well as electric slides.

“I hope the food is good in there. All this walking and fabulous dancing has made me a little hungry,” said Natasha patting what felt like a now-hollow stomach.

“You’ll find something you like,” said Kristen with a wink.

Natasha felt her stomach gurgle, almost uncoiling itself and she suddenly felt unconsciously very, very hungry.