Chapter 2

She continued the drive to the next town. There was not much traffic, so it was either a Sunday or a bank holiday. She found it hard to keep track of the day. She was too early for breakfast and the newsagent, deli and other shops in the town center were closed with their lights turned off. Continuing along the main road, the petrol station was open. She could at least fill up the car, then hang around for a while until it was time for breakfast burgers.

She drove up to the pump and saw the number to call for assistance. All petrol stations had disability support, to bring a member of staff out to fill up the tank, so she could fill the tank and pay for it, without being asked too many questions.
With a small amount in the car, she parked up again and waited. She left the radio play, whilst she had enough charge on her phone to scroll through websites to pass the time. It was chilly in the car and she was still distractingly hungry. Carbs, sugars and fats were not keeping her full for very long. She wished she could either get a better quality of food, or afford to eat more.

After whiling away the time, she noticed it had just passed Eleven. Finally time to get breakfast and then think about where to move on to. She had found a drive-in at the outskirts of town whilst looking through her sat nav, whilst she waited and She drove towards it without much enthusiasm. The same old food, just to satiate her hunger for a few hours.

She drove into the drive through. It was one of the big chains, found in all towns in the country and thankfully, there was no queue. It must have only recently opened for the day. She stopped at the microphone board and had a quick scan of the options, but she had them all pretty well memorized by now. It was too late to order breakfast foods, so she settled for a burger with fries, a milkshake, large lemonade and a coffee.

At the collection part, she waited for longer than normal, the grills probably still cold, but no traffic was building up behind her. She eventually took the bag from the friendly girl at the cash register, paid up and quietly drove off, trying to find somewhere to stop and eat.

Her phone beeped as she drove away, she pressed the button on the radio to read the message through bluetooth.


“Your balance has fallen below Ten Euros. Your current balance is now Six Euros and Thirty Eight Cents.”

Her heart sank. This had been the moment she knew was coming soon, but dreaded. She had avoided checking her bank account, so she could live in the peace of denial, but now it was over. Her heart beat faster in her chest and glancing at herself in the mirror her skin had turned even more pale.

She tried not to let this turn into a panic attack and took deep breaths. She might still have options. Her mum could send her a loan, maybe a friend. Maybe get an overdraft on her debit card. None of these were long term solutions, but they were at least options, which did help ease her mind a little bit.
She drove on and found a layby to park in, off the main road and forced the burger into her mouth. This might be the last time she could eat, at least for a while but was too panicked to even slightly enjoy it.

She rubbed her eyes and opened her phone. She knew people who could make extra money from home. Her Mum always talked about doing online surveys for shopping coupons. However, they were for supermarkets and she needed money right now. She knew people made money gambling, but it was very unlikely that her last six euros were going to transform into a substantial amount. She was probably going to lose that in the first try.

Cramming the burger into her mouth and chewing frantically. She knew a person who made money through mobile games. Apparently they can pay new members to reach milestones. However she knew very little about games and either way, she needed money instantly.

She wound down the window, to get air. She was starting to hyperventilate now. She put the burger down and tried to hold back tears. The last thing she wanted was a passerby seeing her crying and trying to talk to her. Nothing could be explained and she did not even want to try to talk about it.

A road sign outside the car said “tiredness kills”. Maybe she could just shut her eyes and pretend to sleep. That would help. Nobody would bother a sleeping woman in a car.

Thoughts ran through her head. Rational, irrational, self loathing. She wanted her brain to stop and to think without panic.

'write a book', 'read an audiobook', 'start a scam,' 'proofread coursework.' Any job she could think of that could be done from her car flashed through her head. ‘Invest in cryptocurrency’.

She had skills, a degree, but no way to use them in her situation. She was fundamentally useless, a failure.

‘They can do it in their car if they want’. Was a phrase from her recent memory, which flashed through her mind. An intrusive thought, she could not possibly do pornography. ‘They don’t even need to be naked.’

She leaned forwards and rested her head on the top of her steering wheel and let the soundbites from the radio debate run through her head. ‘Begging for food and clothes’. These were just irrational thoughts, but they would not go away.

Lying back again, without much thought in her mind, she had started stroking her belly. The gentle tickling sensation was helping to relax her. The food settling in her stomach was also making her feel more reassured. She rubbed her lower belly, and down slightly through the top of her opened jeans and let the intrusive thought roll around in her mind for a few minutes. The rational part of her mind is only half heartedly battling with them. Maybe the radio show was not just a coincidence, some small force from deep within the universe had activated just enough to make sure she was listening to that station at that time.

She stopped rubbing herself for a moment and quickly came back into consciousness "Lying around eating takeaway, getting fat and asking men to buy new clothes when i'm bursting at the seams." She screeched a little, slightly excited.

She pulled her top up and looked at her chubby midriff flopping slightly over her undone jeans, grabbed it and shouted. "You saved my life!"

Grinning a little, she turned to the passenger seat to pick up the remainder of her burger, when she saw a wrinkled, elderly man's face staring through the open window.

Evie yelped and felt her heart jump into her mouth.

The old man gave a thumbs up. "Always nice to see a young person realize what they want from life. Don't let me stop you."

She turned beetroot red and pressed the window up side, without saying a word and watched the old man walk away, with his shaggy terrier waddling behind him.