Chapter 48a: Hunger and Darkness

I came up for air and exhaled, feeling a little weak in the legs. The heaviness of what I had just said aloud to the universe, to Julio, felt like an immense weight had been lifted off of not only my shoulders, but his as well.

I grinned as we broke apart and, feeling Julio’s face go taught, knew that he must be grinning also. I gently pushed him back, holding him nearly at arm’s length. That face, that smile. Those eyes. Those lips. I could get lost in a face like that forever. And, knowing what lay ahead of me, what lay ahead of us, I hoped that there could be more ‘forever’s’ between us.

“I’m ready to let go.” I told Julio once again. I traced a hand down the spread of his muscled chest where the vest lay open. My finger glided down the harness of muscle between his pecs down, down along to his defined abdominals. I traced a finger around his navel and felt the heat radiate off his body, as a fresh wave of desire spread through my own being. I desired him. I wanted him. And I could sense that he wanted me, too.

Julio nodded and motioned for me to sit back down in the chair. I made to remove my outer jacket, but he intervened. “No, don’t’ worry about that right now. Just relax.” He smiled and I returned it, shrugging myself back into the jacket and wondering what lay in store.

Feeling on the right side of giddy, I wanted to bookmark the breakthrough we both walked through, and I reached for my glass of champagne. I threw it back and topped off my cup, upending the rest of the bottle. I looked down at Julio’s glass and motioned that I was more than willing to share mine. To make it a Lover’s Cup?

“Don’t worry, I’m good right now.”

I nodded and drank down most the contents, feeling the bubbles once again tickle the underside of my nose. I placed my nearly empty cup on the table and the empty bottle in the silver bucket which made the ice clink and rattle.

He looked and me, and I at him. For minutes, it felt like we were just taking each other in. I was committing every inch that was on display into my memory bank. I didn’t want to forget a thing. I wanted to remember it all. The sounds, the smells, all of it. I was fully present, right here, right now.

“You know you’re beautiful, right?” I said unnecessarily. I envisioned him rolling his eyes at this cheesy line, but he didn’t. I’m sure he got that all the time to the point where he must be sick of hearing it.

“You’re not bad to look at either, handsome.” He said with earnest. I felt a shot to the heart that melted right through me. It wasn’t a put on. He genuinely liked me, too.

I felt my stomach do a little flop as I uttered my next words. “I…I want you.” I said, now feeling the effects of the alcohol swimming through my veins. I knew I wasn’t drunk, but I was now on the other side of buzzed. Still lucid, still coherent. But certainly not safe to drive myself home. Home. Now that was a place that felt like it was a million miles away.

He approached me and kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes to receive his lips. He put his strong hands on my shoulders, and I reached for him, hands gently laying against the sides of his hard hips. It was a long, slow kiss and I felt my whole body warm to his touch. It was like his kiss had anointed me with warmth and I felt a buzz tingle down my spine that had nothing to do with the alcohol. That was pure, 100% Julio.

Julio released me and took a step back. He was smiling and I could tell he was getting ready for some sort of performance. I don’t know how I knew it, but there was something now in the way he carried himself. The way he walked, no, sauntered around the room. I felt very special. My stomach let out a low grumble of pleasure. Or, was it hunger? Did I suddenly have an appetite, or was it merely a craving for the man that stood before me?

As I contemplated, Julio went to the wall and lingered there for a moment. Curious, I watched as his hand touched what looked like a button on the wall. There was silence for a moment, then I heard the faint sound of a voice.

“Oui, monsieur?”

“Regard, Jean. C’est moi.”

“Salut, Julio. Est-il pret?”

Julio looked from the wall to me, then repeated in English. “Are you ready, Theo?”

I nodded, still unaware of what was to come. Unaware, fully, of what I had just agreed to.

“Oui. Comment dix minutes?”

“D’accord. Dix minutes.”

Julio flicked the button on what I now knew to be the intercom and moved over a few steps to another panel. He hit a few buttons and switches, and a slow rhythmic beat began to fill the space. Lights from somewhere overhead began to wink on and off in time with the music, as a central white spotlight beamed a few feet in front of where I was sitting. Out from the shadows, Julio appeared, just as he had done on stage what felt like hours, days ago.

I felt another wave of giddiness and felt my heart squeeze with want as Julio began approaching the central light. The white circle. No, he wouldn’t. He couldn’t possibly. But yes, yes he did.

Wordlessly, held my gaze as he stood dead center under the light. His face once more became that of the stage professional, as he looked directly into my eyes. I melted. God, how I melted. He smiled and began recycling some of his moves, sliding and gliding in place on feet as light as air matching the tempo of the music, which was slow and seductive. Be began moving around reacting with the air in front of him, like there was an invisible shadow that became his dance partner. I bit my lip wishing I was that invisible shadow.

Like an earworm, my brain instantly picked up the song, “My Pony by Genuine” and I felt my hips rolling in the chair automatically as our eyes met and we locked onto each other once more. Each of us drawing hungrily off the other. I bit my lower lip as Julio did an impressive side-step shuffle and peeled back one sleeve of his vest. His shoulder was mountainous as were the muscles of his upper arm. He spun again, revealing the other shoulder and brought the scraps of leather around to his elbows.

He smirked as I groaned in pleasure, running a hand surreptitiously down my body, completely in contrast to the toned roadmap that were his abdominals. In quick succession, he flicked the vest on and off, his muscles rippling against the fabric. Oh, God, how I wanted to just see him glisten. To bare it all.

Unbidden, almost as if I had willed it, he shrugged off the vest for the final time and dropped low, bouncing on the balls of his feet. I licked my lips as he closed and then opened his knees suggestively. I tried to draw saliva into my mouth but, just like before out amongst the crowd near the main stage, I was finding it difficult. I reached for the glass and drained the remainder of the champagne and instantly wished there were more. I was feeling too good and it was the perfect balance to keep me there. I moaned and felt beads of sweat forming at my temples and around my throat. I dabbed at them with my free hand and had the sudden feeling that my clothes were sticking to me a little more. They felt constricting, almost as if they had suddenly become too small, for it had suddenly become very hot in this private room.

I smacked my lips and set the glass down and my thoughts turned to a craving. A craving for something of substance. I suddenly desired something to…eat.

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