Chapter 5. Wingman woes

"Seriously, the fit is fine. You look fresh. 10/10 would go home with if I was a girl," I reassure Vihaan for what feels like the three hundredth time. He doesn't turn, eyes locked on his own reflection.

"That damn barber," he mutters.

"They always cut it a little short because they know it will grow out quickly. You're fine, trust."

I pat him on the shoulder as he fidgets with his collar.

"It's just one party. They happen all the time," I try again.

He sighs, suddenly deflating. When he turns to look at me, there's a pain in his eyes that I wasn't expecting to see.

"Look mate, some of us were actually bullied in highschool and don't automatically make friends by walking into a room."

His tone isn't accusatory, just matter-of-fact. It takes me by surprise, and all I can do in response is gape like a fish as he steps around me and strides out.

Vihaan's silence turns the 10 minute walk to the frat house into an eternity. Usually he's the chatterbox out of the two of us. Now, it dawns on me that he has never shared about his highschool experience with me. I only know him as the nerdy, cheerful ball of energy I shared a room with in first year. Though I noticed that he could be self-conscious and didn't have the most confidence, I always thought he was a good-looking guy. It never occurred me that he'd ever have to worry about first impressions or making friends. Tonight must mean more to him than I realized.

I suddenly feel ashamed and guilty that I invited him to go with me while only thinking about satisfying my own perverse desires and potentially impressing a cute girl. God, I hope queenoftoads is cute. What if she's not? No, she has to be right? Will I see her tonight? Even if I do...will I know it's her? Would she drop hints? Wait, this is all assuming she finds me immediately, and that she will even try to talk to me. All the thoughts about her have my head spinning. I shouldn't even be thinking about her when my best friend is right next to me, clearly hurting. I wonder what's haunting him, if he'll tell me one day. I resolve to go into tonight as his #1 hype man.

I didn't eat much the whole day today, wanting to save my appetite and preserve my figure for tonight. Which means my growling stomach is my top priority when we walk in. Vihaan trails behind me as I make a beeline for the food, shouldering my way through a throng of tall, sleazy white boys in backwards hats chatting up blushing, scantily clad girls. The theme of the night is No Shirt, Yes Service. They've set it up so that the senior frat members are acting as servers for the night, and their uniforms are...well, think Magic Mike.

By the time we reach the several long tables that have been pushed together to hold the food, I'm salivating. Kappa Kappa must have blown their budget on this. There's a tower with stacks of pizzas, well-loaded with a wide variety of toppings. Next to it, one shirtless guy grills burgers while another wraps burritos. They serve plates with a smile, joking around with each other to entertain the crowded line-up. Every now and then one of them will wink at a girl that's caught their eye: I can only imagine how many numbers they'll each collect by the night's end. Next to them, you can serve yourself from what I can only describe as a lake of loaded nachos. Further down the line, a third frat boy scoops greasy, cheesey lasagna into bowls which pass into the eagerly waiting hands of party-goers. There are other forms of pasta too...I spy spaghetti, penne, a pool of meatballs in a steaming marinara sauce, grilled chicken, a creamy sauce that looks like it's all about mushrooms. Half of one table is dedicated to a formidable sushi boat, each subsection containing a different delicacy. Every few minutes, another frat boy comes in to restock the rapidly depleting containers of various types of rolls and nigiri.

"Oh, we're eating good tonight," I say to Vihaan. He looks impressed, although still a bit glum.

"Cheer up," I nudge him, "I'll stay by your side as long as you want me to."

"Thanks," he manages a weak smile.

"If you spot anyone you like, I'll lure them over," I waggle my eyebrows, "but let's load up our plates first."

We set up by the bar with as many plates as we could carry, each piled high with as much food as I could risk stacking on it. Vihaan had tried to protest as I was filling them up, chiding me for having eyes larger than my stomach, but I had reassured him that he could eat as much or as little as he liked and I'd finish the rest.

"What's gotten into you?" Vihaan asks as we slide into our seats, "Are you planning on becoming a body-builder or something?"

"No no, I'm just really hungry," I respond cheerfully. To shift the focus off my changing eating habits, I scan the crowd for potential girls to talk to. We have a pretty good vantage point from where we are.

queenoftoads is here...but looking out at all these people I feel my heart fall a little bit. There's no way I'd know which one is her. We may not even run into each other tonight. Still, I'm excited to dig into my feast knowing she could be watching. My best bet is to catch her attention. If she's looking for a guy pigging out, maybe she'll notice me and come over. It doesn't matter if there's only a slim chance she's looking for me: I'm going to make sure that if she is, she gets a show. My only plans are to hang out with Vihaan and eat as much as I physically can.

"Okay, okay," I decide to distract Vihaan with girls so I can stuff my face in peace, "I see three potential candidates. Be cool."

"Please," he slicks his hair back and leans back with a goofy expression, "call me Frozone cuz I'm Mr. Cool."

I don't know if he's going to get anywhere with Pixar references, but I grin in support.

"Girl A. Glittery crop top, black denim skirt. Braids. Do you see her?" She's dancing with her friends, but I can see her glancing around to see if anyone's checking her out.

"Wow. You sure she's not out of my league?"

"Whoa there, cowboy, if you're too intimidated that's why we've got options. Girl B. Black bob, black bodysuit, deep V-cut, shorts. Having a drink as some guy chats her ear off. She looks like she needs an excuse to escape that conversation."

"Oh, I see her. I think she might be in one of my classes, actually!"

"Great, that's a way in. But wait, there's one more! Ariana ponytail, lime green bodycon dress, sheer mesh. Lined up for beer pong by herself. That's a baddie right there."

"Wow, she's stunning...I don't know man, you might have a chance with any of these girls but I don't want to bother them or like, creep them out."

"Well it's okay, don't be creepy then! Maybe go talk to the one in your class? Watch her body language, if she wants to be left alone you can just come back and hang out with me."

That seems to convince him.

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit then," he sets off towards the girl who looks like she'd rather go on a date with roadkill than spend another minute with the guy bothering her. I see her eyes light up when Vihaan steps in. Perfect. Maybe they'll get along and get married and have babies. And now I can finally focus on growing my own food baby.